Yeast, ur da shit!

Yea, yeast is my new best friend. Coz i just gotta let them do what they do best, and before i know it, i got free booze!

My apple cider experiment has worked out. And its gooood.

Yeeehaaa!

Yeeehaaa!

These little fuckers just need sugar. They consume whatever sugary liquid u feed em, and they fart CO2 & piss out alcohol. How cool is dat?

Yeast piss. Yummy.

And just as a bonus, yeast are also a source of B-complex vitamins and protein.

Easily the most important & productive micro-organism on earth

Easily the most important & productive micro-organism on earth

All i gotta do is pound, and dump these organisms into apple juice, then chill for a couple of weeks. In d meantime, the yeast dudes are working 24-7, multiplying & producing alcohol all d time, billions of them, for free. I dont even have to give them a salary. Its slavery!

A German chemist wrote back in the day about yeast: “These are endowed with a sort of suction trunk with which they gulp up sugar. Digestion is immediate and clearly recognizable because of the discharge of excrements.”

He rambles on: “These animals evacuate ethyl alcohol from their bowels and carbon dioxide from their urinary organs. Thus, one can observe how a specially lighter fluid is exuded from the anus and rises vertically whereas a stream of carbon dioxide is ejected at very short intervals from enormously long genitals.” Haha! Big-dick boys.

One drop of fermenting juice can contain five million yeast cells capable of doubling their number every two hours.

The thing about these guys is they end up drinkin themselves to death. Wine yeast can survive up to 14-18% alcohol in d mix before dying of alco-poisoning, but beer yeast will probably die around 6%. Anyway, there are more than a thousand yeast species around, depending on what u wanna brew.

I made 12 liters of apple cider using about 30 cents worth of yeast. So my cost for producing all these booze is basically the same as the cost of apple juice. Amazing.

Then u realize that alcohol is actually fuckin cheap.

I waited 18 days before deciding dat it was strong n tasted good. Dats when u start bottling. After 2 weeks, i did a taste-test every day. When u feel it’s just right – good balance between sweet & sour & alcohol, its ready. I was bottling them when i was drunk, so no pictures of this happy process.

I was planning to make sidra (apple cider), but since i used wine yeast rather than brewer / beer yeast, i got apple champagne. Haha! To get the fizz, just add a teaspoon of sugar into each bottle then seal the cap. It shd be fizzy within a couple of days.

Bubbly apple wine

Bubbly apple wine

My brew is fucking strong. A couple of sips this morning n i was buzzing. Gonna get a hydrometer to check the % of alcohol.

Obviously the brew has only 100% natural ingredients.

Will post a step-by-step soon on the DIY apple wine. At the mo, sugar cane wine is brewing.

Yeast, u da man! Salud!

Share

Adios Keith

Alcochef Keith Floyd is dead. Heart attack. Since he jalan aged 65, i cant really say he subscribed to the Bohemian motto “Live Fast, Die Young.” He tried hard tho. Good attempt.

He was a committed drinker. Wine sales will be affected.

His final drink was a glass of red – Fils Cotes de Rhone. It was a 2007 – good year. I was bumming.

Surprisingly, he did not die of liver failure, which means its ok to drink as much as u want!

Must have been food and cigarettes that nailed him.

Share

Senget judges?

I guess even the experts cant agree when it comes to the complicated drink of wine (mostly man-made complications). I wrote recently about my very intoxicating experience at a blind-tasting session. Thing is, u arent supposed to get intoxicated at a tasting.

A researcher has found that wine judges cant really tell what they’re tasting. There’re inconsistencies in their judging, although they’re sober. There’s a short article on this on Drinks International.

Boozing and paperwork should never mix

It's confirmed - paperwork & booze cant mix

Quote: “Robert Hodgson created a stir earlier this year when he claimed that individual judges in the California State Fair Wine Competition often rated the same wine differently.” (Blind-tastings.)

I think when they say shite like “exhibits extraordinary purity, and beautiful sweet blackberry and cassis notes along with hints of graphite, camphor, and a subtle, but intense meaty character”, then they’re probably talking cock. They might as well swallow d goddam wine rather than spit during tastings. Fuckin wastage. They are people starving around d world man.

At least then they’ll get drunk. And instead of rapping about aromas of red ink and goddam goat leather, they’d say, “O yeaaaaaaaa, i liiiike this one. Hit me again! *Buuurp!* It’s a ffff-fff-fuckinggggg good wine!”

Easy enough to understand.

The manner in which the judge says “fucking” determines the level of the wine’s quality.

Well, I guess u just need to sound cool (superb tips here), and u can pass off as a pro!

Related Posts with Thumbnails
Share