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COCKTALES, by the Thirsty Blogger

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Eat dirt

February 8th, 2010 · ~ Travel ~

Spent two days in the wilderness recently in Jelebu, Negeri 9. Twas to review Kawasaki’s latest dual-purpose bike, the KLX 150S.

Being a 150, too little power for me. Am into bikes, but not small ones. But this one’s a lil different. When ur off-road, a light bike’s more flexible and maneuverable.

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With my buddy for d weekend

The review’s for The Star. Since none of their writers ride, i get to do it. Suits me just fine of course.

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A pit-stop

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Riverside campsite

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A shotgun shell. This one says '9', meaning 9 pellets are fired out. Most likely to hunt boars

A shotgun shell. This one says '9', meaning 9 pellets are fired out. Most likely to hunt boars

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The stop for the night was kinda middle of nowhere. Traversed lots of dirt roads to get there.

Make sure u have an invitation tho - coz if u dont, it’s graphically elaborated below -

Tresspassers will be... prosecuted?? More like tresppassers will have their heads blown clean off by a shotgun

Prosecuted my ass. More like "Tresppassers will have their heads blown clean off by a fucking large shotgun behind d neck."

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Our pad

Our pad

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Who needs a bridge?

Bridge?? Watdat?

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Next morning, we had to take a hill. Bad scene. The wet ground was slippery as shit. Tyres were spinning, bikes were dancing and dirt was flyin. I went into full throttle, but the rear wheel just spun and we got nowhere, ‘cept side-to-side, like a fish tail.

The horse finally kinda threw me off. The bike’s rear was dancin n goin sideways so i let it fall.

Encountered foggy conditions

Encountered foggy conditions

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The campsite HQ

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BBQ goin on. They shd have cooked this bastard. I fuckin hate geese

BBQ goin on. They shd have cooked this bastard too. I fuckin hate geese

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Muddy conditions

Chocolaty conditions

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Headin into an Orang Asli village

Headin into an Orang Asal village

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Takin a break from the dirt at a fuckin high waterfall, highest in d state

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Expected the weekend to be more hardcore, so was a lil disappointed coz i didnt crash into some mud pit or sumtin, cept for the minor fall of the bike. Did ride straight into a bamboo grove tho when i took my eyes off d trail for one second. Haha!

Maybe next time.

D next ride i plan to trash. Luv this baby. This one's a 600

D next ride i plan to trash. Luv it. This gorjes babe's a 600. Goin for 30k

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Brain damage: Reversed due to fresh air

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Champagne in the a.m.

February 5th, 2010 · ~ Bars / Clubs / Restaurants ~, ~ My recommended outlets ~, ~ Wine, tuak & champy ~

Can’t be beat. Its been awhile.

Was sure glad to hear Sassorosso (2166-6428), the Italian restaurant and wine retailer, has recently started gettin people high every Sunday from 11am.

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With Giovanni, owner (of the joint & the bike)

I was there on time with a friend, Lena. Guests can have unlimited wine (white & red) and Italian sparkling wine, prosecco. The wine changes every week tho.

Prosecco is my new favourite bubbly. Created from predominately prosecco grapes in the northern Veneto region of Italy in the foothills of the Alps, its light, easy to drink and fun. According to a recent article in The Telegraph, in the UK these “cheap & cheerful” sort of drinks (prosecco, cava) are edging out the more well-known champagnes.

Bubblebubble

Bubblebubble

Had several glasses and got buzzing before i even looked at the menu.

Food. Hmmm. That ‘thing’ that has to enter your body in between drinking.

Found out that Lena is also a day-drunk. Haha

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Laid out

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Lena's appetizers

My appetizers

My appetizers

The deal here is appetizers are laid out out front, but the main course is your choice from the extensive menu - u got pastas, risotto, gnochi, lasagna, 17 types of pizzas (baked when u order in a wood-fired oven outdoors), grilled shit (rack, t-bone, etc), fish (including jumbo prawns which i devoured, as well as salmon), with a choice of side order and sauce, and dessert served at your table. Phew.

Godammit makin me hungry.

Yum

Yum

Feasting for a king. Will definitely hit it again.

It was the kind of sunny, breezy Sunday that just screams “Drink, bitch!” That i did, and basically stuck to d bubbly all d way.

Probably the biggest selection of grappa outside Italy. Haha

Probably the biggest selection of grappa outside Italy. Haha

The joint has a real chilled, cool and inviting atmosphere, with loads of natural light, a nice layout and a stylish, unpretentious feel. It used to be a person’s private home ages ago. Dude back in da day must have been a hustla to have a bungalow smack downtown.

A band plays

A band plays 2nd & 4th Thursdays of d month

An ol skool corner. I like

I like. An ol skool section

Private section

Private section

My fave corner

My fave corner

Dessert. One of 'em

Dessert. One of 'em

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Pizza dude workin it

Lookin for birds ah

Lookin for birds ah

The retail wine cellar at the rear

Doin it. There's a retail wine cellar here too (at our rear)

More grappa

More grappa

Chef Giovanni’s been in KL for ages, i met him way back. He’s also opened a new wine bar (+pork)at Changkat BB called Giovino last week, which i plan to raid.

I’ve normally had champagne brunches at hotels like Westin & Ritz, so doing it at a restaurant is a nice change, and more personal.

Call the restaurant for reservation at the number above. Sassorosso Italian Restaurant & Wine Retailer’s Sunday brunch costs $147.20 ($128++) with booze. If u got liver failure, it costs $112.70 ($98++).

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Brain damage: 8/10

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If u like Guinness…

February 3rd, 2010 · ~ Bars / Clubs / Restaurants ~, ~ Beer / ale / stout ~, ~ My recommended outlets ~

Dark magnet

Dark magnet

…u’d luuv Spaghetti Grill (2287-2220). They serve it ice-cold, like Chilis, but without retarded managers. It’s located at Megamall, facing The Gardens.

And the price is ridiculous - $11.95++ or $13.75 nett a pint. Cool thing is, happy hours is all day, all nite! And it aint just for Guinness - other beers & liquor too. You can get a Scotch whisky (Grouse) for 7 bucks.

Bites called 3D

Bites called 3D

Happy customers

Happy customers

U know when you’re halfway or nearing the end of your pint of beer/Guinness, and it starts to taste crap coz of the rise in temperature? Dat really sucks, and seriously affects the taste of the drink, making u less likely to order another. This problem dont exist at Spaghetti Grill, cos the thick-glass mugs are stored in the freezer until needed.

It remains real cold till d last drop! No shit.

Now that what i call a COLD ONE

Now that what i call a COLD ONE

Its got a full bar

Its got a full bar

Gangsta

Gangsta

The outlet is owned by the same company that owns Chilis, hence the similar set-up. But the manager here, Ashok, is a nice guy. He could teach Chili’s managers a thing or two, or a thousand.

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Bodoh punya manager

February 1st, 2010 · ~ Bars / Clubs / Restaurants ~

A reader, KL Chong, sent me his experience at Amercian Chilis, Bangsar, where there’s a dumbass dude who runs d joint. This is to add to the list of incidents already documented here.

Here’s what he gotta say:

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I was there with my buddy & his pregnant wife for some food and beers (the wifey had juices). Their happy hour is from 3pm - 7pm as stated so when it was about time, the waiter asked if we wanted more beers so of course I OK and said yeah, 1 more round. Then my buddy said, why not we order 2 each. We called the waiter and conversation went somthing like this…

Me/Buddy: “We want to order 4 mugs”.

Chili’s Waiter: “No no, you cannot do that. You cannot park your drinks”.

Me/Buddy: “Yeah, we understand, so just bring all the 4 mugs out at once”.

Chilli’s Waiter: “No No, we cannot do that, its against our policy”. There’s only 2 of you, so you can only order 2.

Me/Buddy: “WTF!!!???!!!”

Buddy: “OK, my wife is next to me, she order 1 lah”

Chilli’s Waiter: “Oh no, she’s drinking juices”

Me/Buddy: I want to see your Manager.

Restaurant Manager of Chilli’s Grill & Bar Bangsar Shopping Complex outlet, Mr. Purusothaman Perumal came over.

Me/Buddy: “We want to know why we cannot order 4 mugs”.

Puru: ” We don;t allow parking”

Me/Buddy: “No no, we understand that. We want all the 4 to come out at once”

Puru: “Oh, we cannot allow you to order so many beers because #1, we cannot maintain the freshness of the beers if you order so many….#2, We may at our discretion to withhold selling of alcohol if we feel that the customer has drank too much. This is written in our company rules and regulations.

Me/Buddy: “Where is it written?”

Puru: “Oh, of course, we cannot write everything out…that’s not possible”

Buddy: “OK, I didn’t drive, my driver is at the front”

Puru: “I know, still I cannot sell you”

Me: “THAT IS A LOAD OF BS!!” Maintain freshness?? You are a restaurant!! Not some beer specialty shop! What are you talking about?! And what qualifies you the authority to gauge the level of alcohol I can take?

Puru: “Oh, we go through some special training and courses with so & so …blah ..blah..blah…

Me: “OK, show me your identification or certification”

Puru: “Oh, I cannot show you”

Me: “Even a plainclothes policemen stops me on the road will show me his ID if i request. You cannot show me yours, what qualifies you to tell me I’ve exceeded my alcohol level?”

Puru: *doesn’t answer*

Me: “Give me your card, I will write a complain to your headquarters”

Puru: “Go ahead, just google on the internet to find our HQ.”

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Brilliant. How NOT to run an establishment.

Obviously the owning company, TAS Leisure Sdn Bhd, aint doin shit about it.

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Homey turns 9

February 1st, 2010 · ~ Homey ~

Punk

Punk

My buddy Homey celebrates his birthday today. Dude gets a party every year. Maybe not dis year tho. Malas.

Time for a self-party Homes

Time for a self-party Homes

He’s already been receiving presents.

Will get him his default gift, KFC.

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Bar skillz

January 29th, 2010 · ~ Drinking / bar skillz ~

Checkdis link (sorry cdnt embed here). Sent by a reader, Marc. Crazy skillz  behind d bar.

Respect.

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Alco Asians

January 26th, 2010 · ~ New products & booze news ~

According to Drinks International, Asia is already the world’s largest spirits market, downing 47% of the world’s supply. And wine sales are predicted to rise before 2013 by 25%!

Well done people. Proud of ya!

Go Asians!

Go Asia!

The forecast growth in wine outstrips that of North America, which is expected to grow by 7.6% while mainland Europe is expected to show negligible growth.

China, India and Japan alone account for 90% of Asia Pacific’s alcoholic drinks sales, probably due to their huge populations.

The ol skool wine-producing countries are still in charge - France, Spain and Italy are expected to continue to account for about 50% of the world’s wine.

The Japanese drink 2.3 litres of wine per head a year, Hong Kong 3.3 and Singapore 1.9, while British wine consumption has attained around 23ltr per head of population. The traditional wine producing countries, France, Spain and Italy drink approximately 40ltr per head. Winos.

No data on Malaysians specifically, but am sure we drink shitloads. Mat sallehs regularly freak out at our ‘enthusiasm’ and determination.

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Beer tasting @ Craft Brews

January 25th, 2010 · ~ Bars / Clubs / Restaurants ~, ~ Beer / ale / stout ~, ~ New products & booze news ~

Beer. The world’s oldest and still most widely-consumed alcoholic beverage, usually made from malted barley, with hops added for flavour, and for bitterness, to counter the sweetness of d malt.

Its been around for ages - fuckers have been gettin drunk for at least 10,000 years! (And still no real hangover cure?? Other than this recent attempt. Dafuck man. Goddam slackers.)

There are two types of beers in the world - lagers and ales. Explain in a sec.

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Bitches lined-up

Last week tried out some American craft beers available at Craft Brews (7722-3000). Earlier in the month tried their draft beers.

These babes are from the Flying Dog Brewery, an award-winning one that began brewin d piss in Aspen in 1990.

It wasn’t a beer-pairing dinner; just beer. Four of ‘em. (Hmm. Dunno why no bars / restaurants have hosted beer dinners.)

To kick off t’was Old Scratch (amber lager). Obviously the colour is amber as its a lager.

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Beer with ticks on d label. Appetizing

Wats da diff between a lager and an ale? To d layman, a lager is a pilsner like Tiger, Chang, Angkor, Bintang and all d beers brewed in this region. Its filtered, clear gold, crisp, and has a clean taste.

An ale is generally unfiltered, usually darker beer.

The difference in creation is lager uses bottom-fermenting yeast, ie yeast that gather at the bottom of the fermentation barrel. Ales use a top-fermenting species. Like cider. And wheat beers.

Ales are generally robust, more complex, bolder and stronger in taste and aroma, and normally darker. Very common in US, Europe, not really in Asia. Early beers were all ales. They usually have a higher hop content. Stouts fall under ales.

The strongest beer made so far is 32% - the Tactical Nuclear Penguin. Haha! Penguin also kena exploited.

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A pack of crazy dogs

Anyway the Ol Scratch (5.5%) is a malty beer, more on the sweet side, but mellow. The finish is light.

The Snake Dog (India pale ale) is a different story altogether. Its fosher a straight-up, big-dick ale. The aroma is of…. lychee. Seriously.

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Grace tryin to figure d beer with the highest alco content

The IPA is hoppy (meaning heavy in hops). Translation = bitter. Tasting-buddy Grace, who’s a freak, digs dis.

The finish is pretty strong & long. ABV is da highest among the four - 7.1%.

Hmmm. Now Grace’s choice makes sense.

Its got an IBU (some new shit i learned) of 60, which means its goddam bitter. All these bottles have an International Bitterness Unit number at d back, ranging from 12 to 60.

Next, the Doggie Style (classic pale ale).

Dis dude’s got character, a lil too much character for i n Grace. It’s gotta real bite. But a shorter finish than the Snake Dog IPA. ABV is 5.5%.

Checkout like real, taking notes n shit

Checkout like real, taking notes n shit

Its supposed to make u engage in doggie-style d same night. Didnt happen.

Even if it did, i aint no snitch.

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If dogs could fly....., I'd watch out for dog shit

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Final beer’s the In Heat (wheat hefeweizen - 4.7%). Its got the aroma of pisang goreng. No shit.

Dead easy to drink, the traditional German hefe is my fave. Simple unfiltered wheat beer.

Choices....

Choices....

My ranking - In Heat, Ol Scratch, Snake Dog, Doggie Style.

Grace - In Heat, Snake Dog, Ol Scratch, Doggie Style.

A hydrant beer-dispenser? Great spot for a dog to take a leak

A hydrant beer-dispenser? Great spot for a dog to take a leak

The beers are only served from bottles and cost $20.70.

Party continued as we hit Alexis with my buddy Rubin for long islands. Got pretty bent on d way there.

Rubin n Grace fight for sum wine i brewed

Rubin n Grace ungraciously fight for sum wine i brewed

Senget, altogether now...

Senget, altogether now...

Brain damage: 7.5/10

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Sussin out Sumatra

January 20th, 2010 · ~ Moonshine! ~, ~ Travel ~

Did a six-day work-related road-trip on the fucking huge island called Sumatra, Indonesia. Sixth largest in da world.

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The default beverage, but surprisingly not many Sumatrans drink it. They prefer the cheaper local moonshine

Landed in Medan but was on da road most of d time for work with my local contact Heri. Started well, as dinner at his place was ubi leaves and babi panggang. Awesome shit! Thin strips of lean charcoal-bbq pork.

Lots of them in north Sumatra are Christians.

Dats da shit man! Aka BPK - babi panggang Karo. D sambal on d left is in some pig blood / chili cocktail shit

Dats da shit right there. Aka BPK - babi panggang Karo. D sambal on d left is in some pig blood / chili cocktail

Probably more churches there than here. In every village

Probably more churches there than here. In every village

Medan is a typical Indon city - noisy, dusty, crowded.

Sorait. Aint my scene.

Plannin our route. There're blackouts almost every damn day in Medan

Plannin our route. There're blackouts almost every damn day in Medan

We headed south to Berastagi, up in the hills at 2,000m+ above sea level. Nice.

Cold place. Main thing goin down here is vegetable & fruit farming. Stayed at a joint called Bamboe Hill or sumtin. Pretty cheap at about 44 bucks, if u excuse d goddam mosquitoes!

With Heri after a night of minimal sleep thanks to crazy mozzies

With Heri after a night of little sleep thanks to crazy mozzies

View from bed, with accompaniment for d cold night in white box

View from bed, with accompaniment for d cold night in white box

The backyard area of our accommodation leading to a lil bench

The backyard area of our accommodation leading to a romantic lil bench

View from hut

View from hut

One of the three mountains near Berastagi

One of the three mountains near Berastagi

Berastagi is the only place i liked among all the ones we were at, like Kabanjahe, Medan & Siantar.

Fruit feast, Berastagi market

Fruit feast, Berastagi market

Same market. D dude said the white ones "Paling enak." Haha

Same market. D dude said the white ones "Paling enak." Haha

Poser. The mountain at d back is volcanic, and was brewing

Poser. The mountain at d back is volcanic, and was brewing clouds of vapour

Veg farms, Berastagi

Veg farms, Berastagi

Pretty tiring being on d road so much. The dust, heat, noise, diesel smoke, etc gets to u. There was a point on d road where we didnt shower for two days! Dirty cowboys. So dam good to see a mirror & a proper toilet when i got back to KL!

Our ride for d trip, aka The Tank

Our ride for d trip, aka The Tank

Of course no trip is complete without sampling the local talent. They got sumin called tuak there. Had it during a bbq at Heri’s chicken farm. He’s got 10,000 birds almost ready to be sold & slaughtered. So they just grabbed a few to burn.

Talk about convenience.

Chicas lined up, to layan the sunset i guess

Chicas lined up, to layan the sunset i guess

Lookin cute...

Lookin cute...

cuter...

cuter...

...then lookin cuter. Haha

...cutest. Haha

Their so-called tuak is nutin like d one here. Theirs is made from coconut sap, like regular toddy. It looks n smells like toddy but tastes like bland tuak.

Not a good combo. I switched back to Scotch.

Local brew (in black bucket)

Local brew (in black bucket)

Also gobbled some Nasi Padang is a town called Siantar

Also gobbled some Nasi Padang in a hill town called Siantar

Final day breakfast - pack of Nasi Gurih, local version of Nasi Lemak. Some spicy-ass noodles thrown in as well

Final day breakfast - pack of Nasi Gurih, local version of Nasi Lemak. Some spicy-ass noodles thrown in as well

Havin kopi ginseng with a coupla local boys

Havin 'kopi ginseng' with a coupla local boys

Poser, at Heri's huuge guava farm

Poser, at Heri's huuge guava farm

Heri with a new buddy, Berastagi. Maybe coz of d cold weather, all dogs there are furrier

Heri with a new buddy . Maybe coz of d cold weather, all dogs in Berastagi are furrier

Even ol' Bill is in on it

Even ol' Bill is in on the babi panggang gig

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Brain damage: None. Minimal drinkin!

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Off..

January 13th, 2010 · ~ Random ~

to Medan, till Monday. Later yall

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