Beware, your beer has a clandestine enemy

I learnt something new today. Keeping your drinks cold has another enemy that is little known – condensation.

While i always assumed condensation was natural and quite harmless, it’s in truth a goddam cold-sucker. The droplets on your glass, can or bottle, are actually the main cause of your drink warming up.

Once you grab a can or bottle of beer from the fridge or esky/ice-box , stopping it from warming up quick is a losing battle, unless you have some protection. (Thirsty Blogger post on booze storing systems and ice-boxes here.)

The important part is why. The researchers studied how much of an effect the water droplets that collect on the outside of the beverage — condensation — have on the temperature of the can, glass or bottle.

NOOOOooo....

NOOOOooo….

The effect is huge: the formation of those damn droplets sucks heat from the surrounding air, and delivers it straight to the drink.

It was sumtin i saw on Business Insider, an article called Science Proves It: Koozies Keep Beer Colder. Among others, the koozie stops the formation of these water drops, thus slowing the heating process.

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Koozies by huggaz – handy drinkers’ gear

Works for wine bottles too

Works for wine bottles too

Says study researcher Dale Durran, atmospheric scientist of the University Of Washington, “Probably the most important thing a beer koozie does is not simply insulate the can, but keep condensation from forming on the outside of it.”

I didn’t know that. I assumed it’s role was merely the insulation from the surrounding heat.

Will use huggaz koozies a lot more now. Haha.

A beer is typically served at 5 Celsius. With condensation, within 5 minutes it can double and warm up to 10 Celsius. Condensation is an exothermic process. Heat is released into its surroundings, in this case, the beer.

Liquid absorbs heat to turn into gas; thus gas (in this case H2O) releases heat when it turns into liquid.

condensation

Condensation = bad news. Gas turning to liquid and causing shit

When u see sweat on your can, beer or wine bottle, or glass, it’s no good. And the more humid the air is, the worse the condensation. And we have a high 80% humidity.

So watch out for that condensation. And if you dont have a koozie/huggaz, a napkin will have to do. Just make sure you don’t allow that evil condensation!
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Thirsty Blogger (and toddy) on Nat Geo

Yea boy. American-produced TV drinking show CHUG was in Malaysia some time back to check out our local brew and drinking culture. The Thirsty Blogger was contacted to show ’em a thing or two about drinking, so i took them for toddy! Posted about it here.

Anyway, the show premiered in the US on Nat Geo recently, and the first show was on Malaysia. The series is hosted by established alco Zane Lamprey, who travels around the world drinking local style for CHUG.

Son of bitch has a great job.

There are some production shots here. Zane tried to teach me a game called The Good Burp. I was evidently unimpressed.

Monkeying around

Dont let the booze fall now

Not sure if will it air on Nat Geo here as well. Either way we had a good time drinking fresh, healthy coconut beverages!

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Damn bar bands

Yea, most of ’em blow, at least as far as their repertoire goes.

It’s kinda crappy that most of them only know how to play 80s shit. Specifically, 80s rock.

(Never understood why people refer to them as live bands. As opposed to what, dead bands? If they there, of course they live. They can’t be streaming right?)

They seem like they stuck in a time warp, not realizing we’re deep into the 21st Century. They wanna play same ol’ 70s n 80s covers, fine, but what about the 90s and Noughties? Too complicated to play? Too lazy to learn? Fuck is dat about?

Can’t handle Radiohead, Coldplay or Red Hot Chili Peppers? If a repeater band / bar band can’t play a classic like Give It Away, they shouldn’t call themselves a rock band, and get the fuck off the stage.

Dave Matthews Band? Fuggedaboutit. Pearl Jam? The Verve? Haha! You gotta be kidding me.

Next time u find yourself being force-fed a dose of same ol, request a track from any of the above groups.  And see what the band says!

Maybe we shd start a Play Something Recent! campaign. They need to get out of their toxic nostalgic fog.

Maybe the vocals, and higher sophistication in 90s music is too difficult to handle.

If a cover band claims it plays classic rock, then it should play 90s rock too, coz dats how long ago the 90s was – two decades now.

Hotel Fuckin California. I swear, dats the most-played song on this planet. Hell, maybe other planets too.

Most of these bands seem to have gone deaf around 1989.

Request for Snow Patrol and you’ll probably get served some cocktail. Haha

To restrict music to one genre (ie rock) is bad enough, but to time-limit within the genre? Too much. Any0ne who know of any options, would love to hear from u.

Creativity. I love it, but i think that’s what’s missing in da scene.

Bar owners share the blame. Maybe coz many of them are uncles themselves. I doubt they even hire music consultants pre-opening. It’s more like, “Hey u know any band?”

“Yea sure, can be arranged.”

“Can play Hotel California?”

“Can!”

“OK deal!”

I’ve seen mafuckers performing with mullets man! Mullets.

Bars need differentiation

Bars need differentiation, not same ol’

The OTHER thing that pisses me off about band music is the fuckin volume. Wattup with dat?

What’s wrong with medium volume for ALL tunes? Why dafuck does the band music need to be on full volume?? The band members might be deaf, but the customers sure aren’t.

There’s really no justification for it. (In fact, i have written a piece here before about how the music (and lighting, and bar furniture) affects people’s drinking speed.)

I mean, there’s no consistency. The regular bar music might be hardly audible (which is usually better than the band’s music), but the band one is waaay too high. High. Low. High. Low. How bout some damn balance? Outlets should increase the bar music, and lower the band’s volume.

Bar bands are meant to be playing in the background. Definitely not the main attraction. Unless it’s a superstar band doin a gig. Even that doesn’t deserve FULL volume, right?

Maybe the bands’ fat egos demand max volumes, i dont know.

The break between sets are sometimes a real relief to the customer. Conversations and drink orders can be audible again. People can mingle.

A band with a difference

A band with a difference

Bar owners need to grow some balls and break away from these dumb traditions. Even once a week on a Friday night would be nice. For a change.

Unless they dont want younger customers, in which case, their establishment might die a slow, natural death.

The Rollin’ Sixers (now-defunct) was an awesome Malaysian band that lit up many bars. Blues rock n shit. And boyz like Blister and Hydra are adventurous. Respect.

Maybe its clueless bar owners, maybe incapable bands, maybe stupid tradition, maybe a mix of all.

I think what pisses me off is that two decades of awesome, solid music has been ignored. Like it never happened.

Dats booshit, man.

They been getting away with crap for way too long.

Maybe bar owners and bar bands haven’t noticed yet, but the alco uncles that they have been repeating the same tunes over and over to for 30+ years, are dying off. It’s time to dust off and update the fuckin playlist already.

Sickodat shit.

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Thirsty Blogger on TV

Just for an episode tho, on NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC!!

A travel program on food n drink, CHUG, was in Malaysia a coupla months back. I was contacted to show ’em some local brew. In this case, it was toddy.

It’s hosted by Zane Lamprey, an established drinker. I think he wants to be a celebrity drinker, like me.

Imposter!

I guess the diff is Zane has 141,000 likes on FB. (Probably all fakes.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QAwLnZ5oDaY

The show is called CHUG (Country Hopping Ultimate Guide), and is due to air on some networks, n on DVD.

Toddy is basically weak-ass coconut sap beer. Its sweet-sour n fizzy, and is consumed almost as soon as it’s made. It’s a common drink in many tropical / island countries around d world.

Toddy bar, pre-action

Toddy bar, pre-action

The guys met up with me at a toddy joint in Banting, before we headed to d plantation where d hooch is produced.
Its quite easy how its made, basically requiring an ability to climb. The guy goes up there, trims d flower stems n bunches them together, so they drip into a pot.
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What? Gettin high on his own supply?

What? Gettin high on his own supply?

After a few hours, the sap becomes booze! It truly shocks me how quickly this particular strain of wild yeasts work. The yeast that i use to make cider (and most strains of yeasts) take weeks to do d job. Weeks. So the toddy ones are super-yeasts!
Fuckin cool mutants.
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Fella had a GoPro stuck to his head

Fella had a GoPro stuck to his head

 

Monkeying around

Monkeying around

Soundman lovin it

Soundman lovin it

Anyway, we head back to d toddy shack to drink away, as well as enjoy food like turkey rendang, wild boar curry, etc. Good stuff.
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XL dog

XL dawg

Zane all eager n shit

Zane all eager n shit

Here we go

Here we go

It was a blast, and everyone was pretty buzzed by the time the afternoon was over. Haha. Coz I also made them do the toddy-Guinness cocktail, while biting on exotic meats, like monitor lizard. Ambik.
This toddy joint was checked-out in detail on this about blog three years back, and is a cool place to hang.
 Note: This episode featured on Nat Geo in Nov 2014.
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Brain damage: 6.5/10
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