Am opening a bar

Yea, it’s about time.

After being pushed by various parties, am going into a venture with several partners n investors. It’s gonna be different. (But i bet that’s what they all say!)

Am handling concept, music and marketing.

Sumtin like dat...

Sumtin like dat…

Theme will be 2499, ie futuristic / galactic shit. The entrance will be like a silver flying saucer (arent they all silver? I think i’ll make it purple), and u walk up a small step ladder and end up inside this circular ‘UFO bar’. Of course the effects and blue lighting will add to the buzz.

Leave your light sabers by the door.

It will be  tastefully done; with a loungy setting.

Yeaaa ok, only if they promise to behave

Yeaaa ok, only if they promise to behave

Some joints have what’s known as island bars, ie, a circular bar, with patrons sitting around it. This one will be the other way around fuckdat. The patrons are in the large ‘island’, and the bartenders on the outside perimeter.

Hovering around their victims..

For special drinks for special occasions, there’s a steel operating table in the centre, where aliens normally dissect abducted humans. But in this case, the ‘victim’ will get a tube down his throat, which will duly be filled with a green cocktail called Alien Urine Sample. By a Martian bartender.

For five bucks extra, we will also taze the mafucker for a minute. (An adult diaper will be provided.)

That’ll make sure he’s buzzed. Haha

Am gonna make staff dress up too; no fun otherwise. Will need a good crew.

Head bartender, Mart

Head Bartender, Mart. Multi-tasker

Cashier, Sal

Cashier, Sal, drug dealer

Floor Supervisor, Shade

Floor Supervisor, Shady. I wouldn’t fuck with him

Am also considering a small-dose cocktail (5ml) that’s real special and one-of-a-kind, coz it’s  injected into your vein. By a qualified sexy alien nurse of course.

There’s a serious lack of sci-fi-themed bars. In fact, there’s probably none at all. Uncreative pricks.

Tunes will he jazz, swing and house. No 80’s shit for sure. Location is definitely PJ. No-brainer.

Halloween at this bar will be extreme fun.

Probably be sumtin like dis:

Chief of security, Al

Chief of Security, Al

Havent finalized the food menu yet. As for bar bites, I hear fried insects are catching on.

As for the name, am thinkin of DeepsHit. Or Martian Hole.

Any suggestions?

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9 thoughts on “Am opening a bar

  1. Don’t care about the theme. The service is the No. 1 priority. How many people get pissed off by lousy waitstaff. Look at how long Souled Out been around: fucking good and fast service.

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