Captain Morgan goes white

The ol’ captain, legendary for its dark and spiced rums, is gonna hit the white rum market. And about time if u ask me.

Did u? Ask me i mean?

Either way, I’m telling. According to Diageo, its new Captain Morgan rum is produced in the American Virgin Islands and is “five-times distilled, clean, slightly sweet and creamy”.

It actually does over a year in oak barrels, but not long enough for a change in colour.

One of my fave rums is the Captain Morgan Black Label, which is a dark rum with blends from Jamaica, Guyana & Barbados.

lk

Sleek

White rums have their uses of course, as they’re the base for various cocktails. U dont wanna be making Strawberry Daiquiris with an aged rum.

They plan to  focus on Caribbean-inspired cocktail recipes with this baby.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s40e-DzIxWo

It’s gonna take Bacardi head-on. This was just launched in the US, where Captain Morgan’s growth is in double digits. It’s now the no 3 spirits brand there.

Arrr, capt’n, ya done well matey!

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Damn bar bands

Yea, most of ’em blow, at least as far as their repertoire goes.

It’s kinda crappy that most of them only know how to play 80s shit. Specifically, 80s rock.

(Never understood why people refer to them as live bands. As opposed to what, dead bands? If they there, of course they live. They can’t be streaming right?)

They seem like they stuck in a time warp, not realizing we’re deep into the 21st Century. They wanna play same ol’ 70s n 80s covers, fine, but what about the 90s and Noughties? Too complicated to play? Too lazy to learn? Fuck is dat about?

Can’t handle Radiohead, Coldplay or Red Hot Chili Peppers? If a repeater band / bar band can’t play a classic like Give It Away, they shouldn’t call themselves a rock band, and get the fuck off the stage.

Dave Matthews Band? Fuggedaboutit. Pearl Jam? The Verve? Haha! You gotta be kidding me.

Next time u find yourself being force-fed a dose of same ol, request a track from any of the above groups.  And see what the band says!

Maybe we shd start a Play Something Recent! campaign. They need to get out of their toxic nostalgic fog.

Maybe the vocals, and higher sophistication in 90s music is too difficult to handle.

If a cover band claims it plays classic rock, then it should play 90s rock too, coz dats how long ago the 90s was – two decades now.

Hotel Fuckin California. I swear, dats the most-played song on this planet. Hell, maybe other planets too.

Most of these bands seem to have gone deaf around 1989.

Request for Snow Patrol and you’ll probably get served some cocktail. Haha

To restrict music to one genre (ie rock) is bad enough, but to time-limit within the genre? Too much. Any0ne who know of any options, would love to hear from u.

Creativity. I love it, but i think that’s what’s missing in da scene.

Bar owners share the blame. Maybe coz many of them are uncles themselves. I doubt they even hire music consultants pre-opening. It’s more like, “Hey u know any band?”

“Yea sure, can be arranged.”

“Can play Hotel California?”

“Can!”

“OK deal!”

I’ve seen mafuckers performing with mullets man! Mullets.

Bars need differentiation

Bars need differentiation, not same ol’

The OTHER thing that pisses me off about band music is the fuckin volume. Wattup with dat?

What’s wrong with medium volume for ALL tunes? Why dafuck does the band music need to be on full volume?? The band members might be deaf, but the customers sure aren’t.

There’s really no justification for it. (In fact, i have written a piece here before about how the music (and lighting, and bar furniture) affects people’s drinking speed.)

I mean, there’s no consistency. The regular bar music might be hardly audible (which is usually better than the band’s music), but the band one is waaay too high. High. Low. High. Low. How bout some damn balance? Outlets should increase the bar music, and lower the band’s volume.

Bar bands are meant to be playing in the background. Definitely not the main attraction. Unless it’s a superstar band doin a gig. Even that doesn’t deserve FULL volume, right?

Maybe the bands’ fat egos demand max volumes, i dont know.

The break between sets are sometimes a real relief to the customer. Conversations and drink orders can be audible again. People can mingle.

A band with a difference

A band with a difference

Bar owners need to grow some balls and break away from these dumb traditions. Even once a week on a Friday night would be nice. For a change.

Unless they dont want younger customers, in which case, their establishment might die a slow, natural death.

The Rollin’ Sixers (now-defunct) was an awesome Malaysian band that lit up many bars. Blues rock n shit. And boyz like Blister and Hydra are adventurous. Respect.

Maybe its clueless bar owners, maybe incapable bands, maybe stupid tradition, maybe a mix of all.

I think what pisses me off is that two decades of awesome, solid music has been ignored. Like it never happened.

Dats booshit, man.

They been getting away with crap for way too long.

Maybe bar owners and bar bands haven’t noticed yet, but the alco uncles that they have been repeating the same tunes over and over to for 30+ years, are dying off. It’s time to dust off and update the fuckin playlist already.

Sickodat shit.

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Why cocktail bars fail

I’ve seen ’em come, I’ve seen ’em go. And go…ooze.

Cocktail bars in KL tend not to do too well, tho they start pretty ambitious. I have several explanations for this. (U can also read this post about my observations on how bars can make customers consume more.)

The main one is the pricing system in this country. On top of the govt tax, bars and clubs mark-up their drinks 100% easy, and many even mark-up 200%! And that’s just for regular booze.

Cocktails? Probably 300%.

Why mark-up so highly? Because they do. And anyway you’d probably blame the government for the high prices.

(If they use cheap-shit alcohol, mark up is 1000+ %)

Cocktail culture? Not yet. Maybe not ever

Hence, people prefer to buy bottles of spirits – more bang for your buck. Higher ROI. If everybody bought individual drinks all their lives, all drinkers wd be broke by now. Cocktails? Double-broke.

So we’re so used to keeping things simple – a bottle of whisky, a pitcher of Coke or water. Done deal. Vodka? Orange or cranberry. That’s as complicated as the cocktails get for the general population.

Cocktail orders tend to be limited to sangria, margarita, mojito

Another major factor is the local F&B industry have really fucked things up. Many bars are stingy, and instead of using regular spirits in their cocktails, they use cheap-ass moonshine from Klang, meaning the cocktails taste like cock. Malaysian have gotten used to crap cocktails because of this, and so are not into it anymore. Besides shit taste, u could earn yorself a good hangover.

So-called popular bars do this too, so better check next time ur there. And many bars also use crap mixers, even if they use premium spirits. What’s the point?

U wanna pay 20-30 bucks for a piece of shit?

As for me, even tho i’m all over the  goddam place, i’ve  rarely come across really good-tasting cocktails, even by good bartenders using good shit. 80% are unbalanced and not smooth. Most are too sour, many are too sweet. One sip may be fine, but then finishing the whole glass is a different story. It can be a struggle!

What a waste of alcohol. And a waste of hard-earned money.

I think these bartenders need to drink their own cocktails a lot more, and not dip a skinny-ass straw into it and have a tiny sample. Of course most cocktails taste fine like that. Drink the whole glass. Or three.

Some bars even hire clueless foreigners! But i’ve already talked about this before.

I usually reserve cocktail-making for my house parties or travel or my blog parties.

Yea baby!

I’ve done a better job than some of these guys if i say so myself, with my Kelapa Rock (coconut water-based cocktail) and Brown Brown (Milo-ais based cocktail), among others. Easy, tasty.

At the moment, the better-known cocktail bars are View Bar, 21 and Tate. Be prepared to pay high prices.

One of the longest-living and coolest cocktail lounge was Chill. It was real smooth. Great cocktails, reasonable prices, great chilled Ibiza and Hed Kandi tunes in the afternoon/evening (and soul/funk house later at night, courtesy of DJ me!), funky decor, cool guys, and hot chicks. It had a good four-year run, but was ahead of its time.

Like dumb blondes, some only LOOK good

I look forward to cocktail bars for mainstream drinkers, with good mixers, normal-standard spirits, reasonable prices, balanced-tasting drinks, cool decor, and innovative bartenders. O yea, solid tunes too.

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The latest top 50 brands

Johnnie Walker has taken first place in Brands by Value, a list of the world’s 50 most valuable drinks brands.

The list is compiled by brand valuation consultancy Brand Finance.

Brand Finance created the list using a complex matrix of calculations based on financial results, future forecasts, brand strength and ‘royalty relief’.

According to the report, the top five was made up of international stalwart brands but two Chinese baiju brands, Kweichow Moutai and Wuliangye, also had successful years, rising to sixth and seventh respectively!

Baiju (literally, white alcohol) is a grain liquor. It’s typically Asian – it’s basically rice wine that’s been distilled, with an abv of between 40-60%, like lao lao (Laos) or langkau (Malaysia).

Anyway, here’s the Top 10.

1         Johnnie Walker

2         Bacardi

3         Hennessy

4         Smirnoff

5         Chivas Regal

6         Kweichow Moutai

7         Wuliangye

8         Baileys

9         Moet & Chandon

10       Jack Daniel’s

Kickin ass

Number 6, the Moutai shit (53% abv) is serious business. Here’s what the website says about this high-ranker: “It is the monument of liquor culture that brewers have used magic talent, distilled the cream of broomcorn, picked up the soul of wheat, exploited the nimbus of the sky and earth, and captured irreplaceable microorganisms of special environment for fermentation, mixing and sublimation.”

Nice.

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