Hittin da source

Nutin like a brewery visit to spark up yor life. That’s where u can get brew that’s real fresh – any fresher u gotta brew it yourself! (Hmmm – will attempt dat soon.)

Hit Carlsberg one evening last week with a coupla boys, Mad Max & Adian. Was there like, on time. 6pm sharp. Wuz lookin forward to a Connor’s session, the new draft stout produced locally by Carlsberg Malaysia.

Black stuff on d house

Black stuff on tap

Was invited by Robbie (of AMC), dis dude dat has a supercool collection of classic rides, including a ’63 Buick and a ’65 Mustang! Bitch.

Start by sippping on an ice-cold glass of  Connor’s. It’s texture is pretty smooth and light. Goes down easy. Taste-wise it’s quite heavy on the malt, with a lingering, roasty finish.

Yea it aint common (yet), but have had it at dat German pub Deutsches Haus n Brussels Beer Cafe.

Maybe I’ll chat with d brewer soon about d drink.

We down our drinks coz sum chick called Erin (i think) takes us on a short tour of d facilities (ie, where da shit’s made) to explain how da shit’s made. Sumtin about fire, alcohol and alien crop circles.

I guess i wasnt really listenin.

a

Take that! Met a Brit durin d brewery tour n showed 'em how to play

We’re soon back at d lounge and back at our job. Mmmm, nutin in d world like bar without a cashier.

Goddam Max is always fuckin w his phone when am tryin to drink wit him. Bitch.

Biasa

Biasa

He's a bit psychotic, so when he talks to himself, he pretends he's on d phone

He's a bit psychotic, so when he talks to himself, he pretends he's on d phone

Dis time, he paid for it.

Was d last call at d bar. I says to him “Dafuck man, u’re still one glass behind me. All nite man! Come ‘on!! Fuckin embarassment to d Kadazans.”

“OK OK!”

So i get myself one more, and two for him.

Three to go

Three to go. And lookin cocky

Before long, he rushes to d john. I tail him.

"Gotta make it to d loo! No time to talk to d chick in blue"

"Outta my way! Gotta make it to d loo. No time to talk to d chick in d blue tube."

Fucker spews his drinks n dinner. Pussy.

Goddam maggot tryin to get rid of d evidence. I should have stepped on his head n shoved it in, but am just too nice sumtimes

Goddam maggot tryin to get rid of d evidence. I should have stepped on his head n shoved it into d bowl, but am just too nice sumtimes

Of course am laughin my ass off as he pukes. I say “serves u right dick. U were on d phone all nite, and not focused. Dis wat can happen. Get out there n finish your drink u piece-of-shit maggot!” He cant do it, so he lost 10 points.

But Max accepted dat he had learnt sumtin valuable dat nite.

He should have thanked me. Maybe he did, i dunno.

Guys cant multi-task.

Sallgood. It’s part of his two-month probation / training. Max applied to join d Drinking Army a year ago coz he wants to learn to party like a pro n do it right, but we rejected him.

This time d committee approved his request. He’s now a freshie recruit (maggot), and hopes to be formally accepted and graduate in two months, depending on his performance. Might be updating his progress here.

It aint easy – he has to take a lot of shit without protesting, n merciless ragging from d whole crew during this training period. Like a good grasshopper.

Share

Beer also can kecoh ah? Rilek laa

Some people in Shah Alam want to ban d sales of beers at convenience stores there. Are they sane? It’s just beer for cryin out loud.

Devil's piss

Beer = satan

Yea, we all know Muslims aren’t supposed to drink beer (if they follow what they religion says), but does the religion also say non-Muslims cant have access to beer? I doubt it. Muslim rules dont apply to those who dont believe in that religion.

It’s like me saying to Muslims or Jews its ok to eat pork coz my religion says its ok. Dat’s wrong.

If u dont wanna drink, just dont drink la. Chill. There’s really no need to freak out n over react n deny others their rights. So there’s beer for sale there – but does someone drag u to the store, drag u to pick up a beer, drag u to d cashier, then force the beer down your  throat? I sure havent seen shit like dat happen before.

Convenience stores are for d convenience of everyone right?

If this is d concept, what wd be next? Ban food with pork over there? Ban beef in Sentul cos majority are Hindus? It dont work dat way man.

Just disallow sales to Muslims there la. Problem solved.

Politicians always tryin to divide Muslims and non-Muslims. Bodoh.

A caveman and alcophobic like Hassan Ali should remain in a cave, no?

No temptations there. No beer there either.

Rilek la. Kita semua orang Malaysia. Satu geng.

Share

The chili wings showdown!

Kenny had this bright idea to have Larry’s extra spicy buffalo wings. He says “One plate of the hottest spicy chicken wings, 4 guys, no water. Last man standing wins.”

I know of Last Man Standing when it comes to booze, but food? Watever, as long as there’s booze there. As well as a chance for bragging rights.

So i was one of ’em. The others were KY and Larry, the owner of Frontera Bar & Grill at Jaya One, PJ.

We start well, with straight shots from a beautiful bottle, the Reserva del Senor, a 100% agave of course. Light-tasting and pretty  smooth. This baby is aged 12 months in oak barrels.

The Senor

The Senor

Then some food comes out. My fave was the excellent chili cheese burger – a juicy patty topped with chili.

chi

Chili + cheese

Also had burritos and enchiladas

Also had burritos and enchiladas

After the great regular fun stuff, it was time for business. There were two baskets of wings – medium spicy and Killer.

Killers

Killers

We go for the regular first, at the same time. The last guy to touch a drink wins. It’s reasonably spicy, and tastes just right for authentic buffalo wings. Except Kenny, none of us need a drink.

Then it was time for Killer! Again, start eating at the same time, and gotta eat d whole thing. Halfway thru, there’re tears all round. We try hard to make each other drink water. Lots of resistance.

Kenny’s d first to crack. Probably lasted three minutes. Then Larry goes down in flames. So it’s me n KY. We hold out for at least five minutes, so become joint-champs.

The Killer wings are perfect for those who’d like an extra kick in their snack – makes u drink more. KY, who’s had these wings in d States, says they’re d real thing.

All in all, a great meal, and Larry the gracious host over-fed us.

.

Everything’s fine up to dis point.

Then, some smart-ass (cant remember which one of us), decides to have a round of play-offs – to determine the real winner! Haha!

Aaaand in the red cornerrr, weighin in at 2 grams, the hottest, sexiest, kick-ass, fiery, volcanic hell on earth, Habbbanyyeeerrrrooooo!!!!!

Aaaand, in the red cornerrr, from Mexico, weighin in at 8 grams, the hottest, sexiest, kick-ass, fiery, ass-burnin, satan-on-a-plate volcanic helllll on earthhhhh......., Habbbanyyyyeeerrrro!!!!!

So out comes d fuckin fourth hottest chili (formerly number one) on d planet, the goddam volcano in a palm, grenade in your ass, habanero, which i experienced before, and swore “never again!” I attempted to back-out, but failed.

Pride took over.

The catalyst and inspiration for d play-offs

The dam catalyst and inspiration for d play-offs

So one habanero is sliced into 4 – one slice each.We ‘cheers’, and then voluntarily put a slice of hell into our mouths.

Chili oso can cheers

Chili oso can "cheers!"

Niga it got messy. Real messy.

After a few seconds, we all freaked. Larry lost it and almost immediately stuffed some cake icing into his face. One down!

Kenny’s head ignited. I had to leave d table n walk around. Penang-fella KY was also on fire, but played it cool.

The other customers probably thought we had just snorted some cheap E. It was insane! All sorts of noises and grunts and heavy-breathing and intense panting. Anyone of the three of us could have easily lost it.

Sudah mariiii...

Sudah mariiii...

I pass an iced-water to Kenny. He grabs it, then puts it down. Damn.

Then the situation gets fluid. We’re all over the restaurant. And it goes downhill pretty quick. KY cant hold it in…

.. so he doanted his meal to d sink gods

.. so he donates his meal to d sewer gods. Two down.

Shine on...

Kenny starts to look real bad...

... then hurled

... then hurls

... then Larry struggled to keep his food down. "No pictures!"

... then Larry gags, but manages to keep his food down. "No pictures!"

God, what a mess. Dont fuck with da habanero, muchachos.

Which means only one thing – who da man  now, bitches! Haha. Pussssiiiies.

Penang, Sarawak and USA got whooped by KL.

Winner of a Senor!

Winner of a Senor!

It wasn’t easy, lemme tell u dat straight-up. Later after soaping my hands n some cold water, i touched my eye. Wat a fuck-up. It cooked! Made my cry like a baby.

One eye down

Tryin to remove an eye aint easy

A few minutes later i ‘realize’ i had also taken a piss! Goddam! So it starts to fry under my pants too!

Man, wat a night. A real blast.

After-effects of a nuclear detonation

After-effects of a nuclear detonation

Intestinal damage rating: 8/10

Share

Dis post is dedicated to…

…u people who dont care about civil rights. And dedicated also to pro-government / pro-Nazi, right-wing losers. And those of u who bitched about the ‘traffic problems’ last weekend. Who bitched about being ‘inconvenienced’ by the personal sacrifice of others. Those of u who have never bothered to vote.

Chances are u will make no significant contribution to society or the human race.

n89025606273_8767

Sure, dis is off-topic but sumtin important. Am sick of people who think they can go thru life without makin a stand. Goin thru life by being a goddam lallang. Swaying wherever. Unprincipled, spineless sotongs.

Increasingly, I find i have little respect for such ‘citizens’. Coz they lack substance and intellect. If they’re female, they’d be bimbos.

How do u respect people who are like superficial, selfish beings?

Pigs ready to feed

Pigs ready to feed last Saturday

Like i said on my FB, i  cant believe there’re still pricks n bitches out there who dont care what’s goin on around us. Unpatriotic losers.

Stop being pussies n make a stand against tyranny and Fascism.

Guys risking their liberties and lives out there for you, and you bitchin bout your stupid traffic problems?? Worried about being late for sum fuckin dinner or night out?

Jeez! How ridiculous is dat??

There are bigger things goin on.

Boleh laaa. Orang lain tak kisah kan...

Boleh laaa. Rakyat lain tak kisah kan...

It means d education system is fucked (what’s new?). And u have never been really educated. “U’ve been taught what to think, not how to think” (- George Jackson). It means u have never been exposed to varied opinions by intelligent Malaysians like Mr Yeo Yang Poh (whose letter is linked below). It means u dont know shit about Martin Luther King, or Nelson Mandela, or Gandhi, or Steve Biko, or Corazon Aquino, and HOW they achieved what they achieved. It took a lot, but they made it. Not by sittin on their fuckin asses. But by doin sumtin when things weren’t right. They were all very ordinary people, with the support of other ordinary people.

Did King abandon the cause after saying shit like “Daaaam niga, let’s ditch our struggle. We dowanna be causin no traffic man!”

Sure, there’ll be some pain, some ‘inconvenience’, some peaceful protestors’ blood spilt. It’s part of the process. It’s a society maturing. Evolving. Long overdue.

Our ability to think and evolve differentiates us from animals.

Whatever someone may argue, right and wrong is as clear as day and night.

For a start, u could maybe watch these movies and learn a thing or two about standing up:

1) Chicago 10
Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9uJL7lWdFg&feature=fvst

2) Battle in Seattle
Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JbPufXnFOh8

And this localized parody, “First They Came“.

Hail Fuhrer!

Hail Fuhrer!

I’ve done my part, and will continue to do so even if i’m incarcerated.  I’ve even got a tear-gas canister for an ashtray, but it’s not about that.

They’ll shut me up when I decide i wanna shut up.

And anyone with minimal brains would have noticed that the so-called roadblocks weren’t even real roadblocks. The cops’ instructions were simple – make sure the main highways are reduced to single-lane roads. Did u see them even checking anything?? Did they arrest anyone?? No, junior offices just stood around and made sure the jams were bad. The cops were banking on dummies to blame the march as the cause of the two-day jam. So if u wanna bitch about d traffic, at least dont look like a dumbass n make sure u aim your comments at the right culprits.

Makin life difficult is easy, when ur Malaysian Police

Makin life difficult is easy, when ur Malaysian Police

The stupid ‘roadblocks’ obviously failed miserably – the march went on. So what were they really for??

(Times have changed – even readers of a mainstream paper like The Star support such marches – more than 70% agree in this poll.)

If u aint bothered about the country’s future, u may get out anytime. We dont need u. Malaysia sure does not need u. These people can follow the ‘coward’s trail’ to shitholes like Canada or Australia.

U dont deserve her citizenship.

U have a beautiful mind and body. Use it. And grow a spine.

Why do we protest? Simple answer: http://sun2surf.com/article.cfm?id=36441

READ IT. Know more about your country and its brave people.

'Collateral damage'

'Collateral damage'

Anyway, i truly believe we can make a change. It starts with me n YOU. This is YOUR country. Claim it.

I will NOT succumb nor submit to fuckin Fascists!

And pls dont pretend u dont know whats goin on, coz dats by far d MOST sad n lame excuse. U’ll be dissed if u say that these days. In plain language, ur sayin “Hmmm… Naa, I’ll let my kids deal with d problem some day.”

So either shaddup or do sumtin. Or u’ll die as an insignificant let-down to your kids’ future.

Coz wat issues u conveniently ignore now, u pass to them to suffer with. And it WILL be worse for them. That’s the truth.

I blame the previous generation’s inaction and apathy for most of the problems we’re facin now as a nation. But I’m not gonna be like them.

Dis post would have offended some of u, but my main intention was not to offend, but to awaken the latent and powerful spirit that’s in each one of us.

Our generation has to reclaim this country.

Or it’s lost for good.

When push comes to shove, punch

If push comes to shove, punch

“When injustice becomes law, resistance becomes duty.” – Che Guevara, International Revolutionary (1928-1967).

Power to the people!



Related Posts with Thumbnails
Share