There exists a small, elite group of party animals.
Specialists. Snipers. The cream.
Known as Binatang Parti Malaysia (BPM): Sniper Squad.
The purpose of this unit is simple – party well n hard, systematically. I’m in it, and so are 15 others – 6 guys, 9 girls and one dog. It was formed a few years ago, and since then whenever we party, especially on da road, everything is set-up smooth. Real smooth. Like clockwork.
There’s nothing required to party that’s lacking.
At the moment it consists of a Lieutenant (me), Sarge (Henry), Sargeant Anil (medic), two Private First-Class (PFCs) and the rest are Privates (Homey is a Private too). No maggots (Cadets) at d mo coz they all been promoted to Privates already. Dam. No one to bully anymore. Need fresh meat.
Some rose up d ranks like naturals, others require more training. Don’t know what Homey’s role is. Well mascot i guess, since our logo is his ancestor, da wolf.
Anyway, the unit members earn points before they get promoted. The better u party, the more points u earn and get a higher rank, eventually. The higher your rank, the more perks and preferences u get. Like d best booze, d best rooms when travelling, d least work, etc. Haha! Am serious. Got facebook group n shit.
We take our partying seriously.
A Maggot / trainee becomes a Private (a legit member of d squad, but lowest rank) once he / she earns 50 points. Until then, take sum shit!
A sample of the points system:
Criteria for promotions/demotions
Attending a rave and partying well there – earn 5 points
Mixing drinks etc for us if we’re on decks – 5
Mixing drinks for us (officers) for fun – 5
Being an excellent drinker at all times – 10
Knowledge on booze – 10
Leadership by example, initiative – 10
Downing 8 tequila shots – 10
Knowing extra skills that are useful – 10
Reliable and efficient during a mission – 10
Good and hardworking at mixing drinks, housekeeping of bar & utensils, cleaning up, etc – 15
Generally respectful to your officers – 15
Getting arrested – 10 points per night inside
Brewing moonshine – 30
Organizing parties, vacations, road trips, etc – 35
Disobeying a direct order from a higher rank – minus 5 points
Not finishing a drink without valid cause / wastage – 10 points
Not having a drink after cheers-ing – 10
Sleeping off early during a sanctioned mission without valid cause – 10
Needed to be told what to do (regularly) – 10
Puking – 10
Disrespect to an officer – 15
Not helping out with manual labour, etc (ie lazy) – 15
Behaviour that taints the name of this fine unit – 20
Not hanging out with the unit regularly – 20
Lack of punctuality – 25
Disobeying a direct order from an officer – 25
Obviously top marks for moonshiners like Mary Jane, who got promoted from Private to Private First-Class as soon as she started makin tuak.
Simple but effective.
“BPM: Coz fun is serious business.”