Am gonna score myself some hoes

Hoegaarden. Smooth, creamy. It’s a nice beer. It’s a lot nicer when it’s cheap.

Most fuckers try n con your ass and sell it real expensive; it’s only a BEER ferfucksake! Not some fancy, top-shelf cocktail. Most countries, beers are as cheap as soft drinks.

Here’s a joint dat’s got ok happy hours- The Library. It’s located at e@ The Curve. Here’s a map. From 12pm to 6pm daily (incl weekends n holidays), it’s $36 nett for two pints (one-for-one), ie, only $18 each. Not cheap but OK la. Cheaper than Guinness.

From 6pm-10pm, u get only a half pint free for $36. Which makes it about $24 for d pint and $12 for half of d Belgian shit.

U know anywhere as cheap or cheaper pls post comment!

Nyaman

Nyaman

They got HH for Stella, Connor’s, Corona and Carlsberg as well.

Plan to checkitout dis Saturday for a cozy afternoon session. Or maybe Merdeka Monday.

Salud!

Trust me, not much reading goes on at d Library

Trust me, not much reading goes on at d Library

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Island of non-drinkers?

That was one of my opinions of Sri Lanka. Was there for a six-day media trip with AirAsia. Fortunately Joleen and Gareth were also invited.

Though they produce their own brew, booze is not a highlight if u travel there. Beer is not easily available, neither are toddy and arrack. A huge difference to d last country i went to, Laos.

Sri Lanka is known for its tea plantations (we oso got), textiles and gem stones (*yawn*).

Arrack is bascially coconut brandy. Toddy (coconut beer/wine) is distilled to produce arrack. Pure n natural.

Toddy is rested in barrels, then distilled. The arrack is then aged in wooden barrels for a few years to mellow it out.

Sum dude trying to sell unmade arrack. Idiot

Sum dude tryin to sell me unmade arrack. Idiot

Of course i was resourceful enough to nail a good bottle of arrack pretty quick. The top grade shit there is brewed by DCSL, and the best vintage is “VSOA'” (Very Special Old Arrack). A bottle cost 760 rupees, which is only about 20-plus bucks. Haha!

Sortin out my supply. Seems dodgy but dats where u get booze over there

Sortin out my supply. Seems dodgy. Dats where u get booze over there

Had it neat to start. So surprised at how smooth it was. One of the smoothest liquors ever. Taste a lil like rum, easy on the palate, and the finish is almost non-existent. No “aaaarhhh” or “fuck!” or major burning in d mouth or chest. Too easy. VSOA weighs-in at 36.6%.

Had “Old Arrack” too, also by DCSL (33.5%). Tastes a lil harsher.

Sweet relief

Sweet relief

Whacked their local beers – Lion and Three Coins. Preferred 3 coins – found it light-tasting and smooth, similar to Beer Lao. A large bottle of beer costs 4-bucks plus. ABV is 4.8%.

The itinerary other than my sporadic drinking opportunities involved firstly visiting an elephant sanctuary. Didnt expect to see so many! If u ignore d fences, d chains that some of d animals wear, d handlers who beat them, and d hundreds of other fuckers there, u’d think ur on safari! Haha

Wild

Wild

Well not really

Well not really

I'd get outta d way

I'd get outta d way

There was also a shop across d road selling shit made from elephant shit. Jeez.

Yea no shit

Yea no shit

Collect, boil, strain, make paper, sell. Dam good idea, coz these fat bastards probably crap 100 kilos a day. And their crap dont smell.

My fave part was d rafting we did upcountry. Pretty mellow stuff tho. Nutin more than Grade 3 rapids.

D ride to the put-in

Our ride to the put-in

Some local stuff after d rafting - spicy food n Three Coins

Local meal after d rafting - spicy food n Three Coins

The itinerary by Sri Lanka Tourism was bad. Didnt hit the mountains or nice beaches, nor the Malay kampung. I just realize i did not even learn a single word of d local language! Haha. Dats a first! Meaning either we never really given opprotunities to mix with the locals, or i wasnt interested in dat place.

The country is full of army and cops all over d place due to the terrorism issue with the LTTE (Tigers). They all carry AKs. Coz of terrorists n suicide bombers. And photography is very restricted in some city areas. You get told-off or chased-off by d soldiers.

On d final nite decided to walk around d city by d sea. Soldiers came up to us and told us to move along. Managed to grab one of ’em for a photo, and finally made them smile. (Quietly grabbed his gun too, but the camera didnt catch dat. Haha)

Tuk-tuk driver who believes in da cause

Tuk-tuk driver who believes in da cause

Got drunk, stole a tuk-tuk and got arrested

Got drunk, stole a tuk-tuk and got arrested

View of Colombo n beach from Hilton

View of Colombo n Indian Ocean from Hilton

Some duty-free purchase (Colombo airport). Pretty good for about 30 bucks!

Some duty-free purchase (Colombo airport). Pretty good for about 30 bucks!

Arrack session goin on

Arrack session goin on

Buddhist pilgrims arrive for prayer

Buddhist pilgrims arrive for prayer

Maybe they so obsessed with their tea they forget to booze

Maybe they so obsessed with their great tea they forget to booze

Dis shit is like stir-fried roti-canai-kueh-teow

Dis shit is like stir-fried roti-canai-kueh-teow. Lots of noisy chopping goes on

Very common this UFO thing

Very common this UFO thing

Feasting w Joleen

Feasting w Joleen

Dont shoot me now.

"Dont shoot me now. I come in peace." Or should i say, i come pissed

All in all, had fun, coz i alwayz do!

.

Brain damage rating: 7/10

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Hittin da source

Nutin like a brewery visit to spark up yor life. That’s where u can get brew that’s real fresh – any fresher u gotta brew it yourself! (Hmmm – will attempt dat soon.)

Hit Carlsberg one evening last week with a coupla boys, Mad Max & Adian. Was there like, on time. 6pm sharp. Wuz lookin forward to a Connor’s session, the new draft stout produced locally by Carlsberg Malaysia.

Black stuff on d house

Black stuff on tap

Was invited by Robbie (of AMC), dis dude dat has a supercool collection of classic rides, including a ’63 Buick and a ’65 Mustang! Bitch.

Start by sippping on an ice-cold glass of  Connor’s. It’s texture is pretty smooth and light. Goes down easy. Taste-wise it’s quite heavy on the malt, with a lingering, roasty finish.

Yea it aint common (yet), but have had it at dat German pub Deutsches Haus n Brussels Beer Cafe.

Maybe I’ll chat with d brewer soon about d drink.

We down our drinks coz sum chick called Erin (i think) takes us on a short tour of d facilities (ie, where da shit’s made) to explain how da shit’s made. Sumtin about fire, alcohol and alien crop circles.

I guess i wasnt really listenin.

a

Take that! Met a Brit durin d brewery tour n showed 'em how to play

We’re soon back at d lounge and back at our job. Mmmm, nutin in d world like bar without a cashier.

Goddam Max is always fuckin w his phone when am tryin to drink wit him. Bitch.

Biasa

Biasa

He's a bit psychotic, so when he talks to himself, he pretends he's on d phone

He's a bit psychotic, so when he talks to himself, he pretends he's on d phone

Dis time, he paid for it.

Was d last call at d bar. I says to him “Dafuck man, u’re still one glass behind me. All nite man! Come ‘on!! Fuckin embarassment to d Kadazans.”

“OK OK!”

So i get myself one more, and two for him.

Three to go

Three to go. And lookin cocky

Before long, he rushes to d john. I tail him.

"Gotta make it to d loo! No time to talk to d chick in blue"

"Outta my way! Gotta make it to d loo. No time to talk to d chick in d blue tube."

Fucker spews his drinks n dinner. Pussy.

Goddam maggot tryin to get rid of d evidence. I should have stepped on his head n shoved it in, but am just too nice sumtimes

Goddam maggot tryin to get rid of d evidence. I should have stepped on his head n shoved it into d bowl, but am just too nice sumtimes

Of course am laughin my ass off as he pukes. I say “serves u right dick. U were on d phone all nite, and not focused. Dis wat can happen. Get out there n finish your drink u piece-of-shit maggot!” He cant do it, so he lost 10 points.

But Max accepted dat he had learnt sumtin valuable dat nite.

He should have thanked me. Maybe he did, i dunno.

Guys cant multi-task.

Sallgood. It’s part of his two-month probation / training. Max applied to join d Drinking Army a year ago coz he wants to learn to party like a pro n do it right, but we rejected him.

This time d committee approved his request. He’s now a freshie recruit (maggot), and hopes to be formally accepted and graduate in two months, depending on his performance. Might be updating his progress here.

It aint easy – he has to take a lot of shit without protesting, n merciless ragging from d whole crew during this training period. Like a good grasshopper.

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Beer also can kecoh ah? Rilek laa

Some people in Shah Alam want to ban d sales of beers at convenience stores there. Are they sane? It’s just beer for cryin out loud.

Devil's piss

Beer = satan

Yea, we all know Muslims aren’t supposed to drink beer (if they follow what they religion says), but does the religion also say non-Muslims cant have access to beer? I doubt it. Muslim rules dont apply to those who dont believe in that religion.

It’s like me saying to Muslims or Jews its ok to eat pork coz my religion says its ok. Dat’s wrong.

If u dont wanna drink, just dont drink la. Chill. There’s really no need to freak out n over react n deny others their rights. So there’s beer for sale there – but does someone drag u to the store, drag u to pick up a beer, drag u to d cashier, then force the beer down your  throat? I sure havent seen shit like dat happen before.

Convenience stores are for d convenience of everyone right?

If this is d concept, what wd be next? Ban food with pork over there? Ban beef in Sentul cos majority are Hindus? It dont work dat way man.

Just disallow sales to Muslims there la. Problem solved.

Politicians always tryin to divide Muslims and non-Muslims. Bodoh.

A caveman and alcophobic like Hassan Ali should remain in a cave, no?

No temptations there. No beer there either.

Rilek la. Kita semua orang Malaysia. Satu geng.

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