I already knew dat

Well, not really. Just lucky. I just found out (tx to my buddy Gleeson) dat coconut water, the crucial ingredient in one of my cocktails Kelapa Rock, can do a lotta good shit for u.

Dis drink went down like crazy at d blog launch and d first anniversary party recently.

It appears that TIME Magazine has done a feature on d benefits of coconut water, among them, a hangover cure! Haha!

So if u drink Kelapa Rock, u can get whacked AND rehydrate AND cure the potential hangover, with d same drink! Ultracool.

For the health-conscious wackos

Quote: “Coconut water is low in calories and has no fat and a lot less sugar than most juices. But its most important attribute, at least among barflies, is that it is an excellent rehydrater.” Niice.

It goes on to state that “an FAO official noted that the drink contains the same five electrolytes found in human blood (Gatorade has only two). He called coconut water “the fluid of life.” Indeed, in medical emergencies, coconut water has been used intravenously when conventional hydration fluids were not available.”

Daamn. U can stick it straight into your bloodstream?

The magic juice has also recently caught on among athletes. There’s also been a “proliferation of coconut-water cocktails”.

OK, time to come up with more kelapa recipes then.

Kelapa, u memang rock la brudder

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B..b..but I luv u Rosa baby

Came upon this piece about this hot Jap chick. Her name’s Rosa, and her stats are 35-23-32.

She’s cute, cuddly and stands at 155cm.

Rosa has “a hairless ‘boing-type’ body-hole”. Aka pussy.

She’s d latest bitch coz her body is seamless in the joint areas, being silicone n all.

None of ’em latex crap. Dats yesterday. D future is silicone. Her silicone breasts are also soft and realistic, and so is her skin. It’s smooth and does not feel like latex when touched / fucked.

High-priced body-hole gang-bang

Fuckdatshit. A lil too kinky for me.

Japs are strange. Probably d most schitzo society i know.

They’re all polite n proper n decent but under d surface lies some crazy desire for sexual adventure. In a way, itz cool. Just coz ur nice n courteous dont mean u cant be open about yor perversions.

Anyway, these love dolls aka Candy Girls are big time shit. The latest model (Rosa) will set u back about 20 grand. Bitch.

There’s spare parts like spare pussy for US$160.

There was dis interview with sum dude who has a room full of ’em. He’s spent more than half a million so far on his babes!

Dude watches TV with them, & bathes them n shit.

He’s one of an increasing number of Japanese men who have givun up on dating and marrying women in the real world. “He turns to his dolls for love, affection and sex.” It’s known as agalmatophilia.

Checkitout –

Fuckin hell. How is dat possible? Am sure he has ‘conversations’ with them too, and breaks up fights between them.

Freakeaay.

I mean wat next?? Would the guys actually start goin out with them? Take em out on dates n drives. Take em to d park?

My friend Fadly said there’s a great movie about a guy who goes out with a doll, called Lars & the Real Girl. Will have to get it.

I guess d upside is i could open a whorehouse here n it would be completely legit! Coz technically, its not prostitution coz it aint human. The cops can’t bust me for pimpin.

Imagine that. I’d be a doll pimp!

My street nick would probably be ‘Rubbers’.

Or Rub-A-Dub. Coz ‘Dollie’ is worse.

How bout Manny Queen?

There could be a fuckin franchise of doll whorehouses all over d city in all d hoods n suburbs. I could make millions.

But its probably cheaper to buy real hookers.

Damn. I dreamt was standing near kl tower. Looked up n saw chunks of
concrete coming from d top. Looked s,all, until they landed. My buddy
took off. I was fascinated. Until And they started landing real close
to me. Fuckin start of an earthquake
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The lobster-face syndrome (aka Alcohol Flush Reaction)

So why do some drinkers turn red while others dont??

Coz those who turn red are Communists.

Just kiddin.

Its seems to be mainly a Chinese thing, but then again not all Chinese alcos turn red-faced. Statistically, its one of every two.

Turning red after drinks is known as alcohol flush reaction (AFR) or ‘Asian Glow’. Haha!

It’s actually caused by a genetic mutation – of the ALDH gene. In these people, the gene works too slowly or fails in processing alcohol.

Dats summing shit up for brain-damaged people.

For non-brain damaged folks, here are d details.

Those who experience alcohol flush reaction have a missing or deficient ALDH2 enzyme. So there’s a buildup of sumtin called acetaldehyde due to the slow enzyme.

Ethanol (alcohol) is poisonous in larger doses, really, so our bodies have evolved ways to break ’em down before it has a chance to build up. Nice. While your brain is enjoying its temporary loss of inhibition, your liver is doing its best to clear the alcohol out of your system before it kills you or sumtin.

Spot d glower

The liver’s ultimate goal is to turn ethanol into harmless acetic acid (ie vinegar), which can be easily removed in urine. D problem is that in order to become vinegar, ethanol has to be converted to acetaldehyde, which is as nasty as it sounds.

In fact, acetaldehyde is even more toxic than ethanol. Some of d effects of drinking—turning red, increased heart rate—are actually symptoms of acetaldehyde poisoning. Certain versions of genes can cause a logjam in ethanol processing and a buildup of acetaldehyde. Its this build-up dat causes the Asian Glow.

It also leads to immediate and severe hangover symptoms. These people are therefore less likely to become alcoholics.

No shit.

“Flushing, after consuming one or two alcoholic beverages, includes a range of symptoms: dizziness, nausea, headaches, an increased pulse, occasional extreme drowsiness, and occasional skin swelling and itchiness. These unpleasant side effects often prevent further drinking that may lead to further inebriation, but the symptoms can lead to mistaken assumption that the people affected are more easily inebriated than others.” – The Psychology Wiki.

So why is it mostly East Asians that have AFR? Its just genetical misadventure. Bad luck.

There’s a theory that its linked to consumption of rice over d centuries.

If ur one of ’em, u have my sympathies. However there’s hope! There’re cures available out there online. No idea if they work!

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Glossary update (1)

Gotta coupla new additions to the Booze Glossary.

Bengkok (courtesy of Rubin) – like senget. Similar to senget linguistically, but phonetically def sounds more kao.

So bengkok = a more senget version of senget

Kangkang – a more bengkok bengkok. If bengkok is 9/10, kangkang is 10/10

“A straight-up niga move” (as applied by Mr Ice-T in New Jack Hustler) –  when someone fucks u over or cons u. Eg disappear when its time to pay d bill, borrow cash n skip town, etc

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