You had me at ignite

Scored a rare bottle of Lemon Hart, demerara rum. Aka Lemon Hart 151.

My sweet hart. Haha

Demerara is a light brown raw-cane sugar from Guyana, which is  fermented then distilled. These rums are used to make Tiki cocktails (Tiki is a Polynesian-inspired cultural fad) like Mai Tai and Zombie. Lemon Hart 151 is supposedly THE rum for this, as opposed to others like Bacardi 151.

The clincher – the alcohol. Dis mafucker packs it in at 151 proof, or..

Ouch

Daaamn niga, sgonna smack your head up! Bitch is more lethal than most absinthes. 75.5 will be a new record for me, as the highest i’ve had is 75.

Overproof rums are popular among the locals in the Caribbean islands. Winos. There was concern when Pernod Ricard sold the Lemon Hart brand to Mosaiq last year, as the 151 disappeared for a short while. But its back! It’s dark as hell. The bottle is clear but looks black.

Strange thing is, there’s a warning on the back label. “… extremely flammable… blah blah… danger of uncontrolled flaming… blah blah..” Then it goes n says this – “Empty into a cool or warm surface to ignite, never onto an open flame.”

Wazzat??! “To ignite”??

OK, will have to do some research on the drinking ritual before i open him up. I guess you could light em up even if its in a cocktail.

Want one? Its available in Langkawi (the old stock/design). Price? Only 45!

I luurv Langkawi. You can find real weird shit there, and they’re the cheapest on this planet. Kuah town is like fuckin Disneyland.

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Drinks, dirty cops & roadblocks

Cops here are generally dirty, at all levels, even way up high (or maybe especially). That’s the presumption. The cops on the street are no different. But u do normally have a choice – bribe, or accept the fine/arrest. As far as possible, take the fine.

The other option is doing the designated driver (and designated drunk) thing.

Fortunately, i havent offered a bribe for years. I hope to keep it that way.

Anyway, some of ’em are crooks who con you that you’re breakin d law, even when u aren’t. Thats real fucked-up. Licensed thugs.

It happened to a good buddy of mine last month. He had a coupla drinks (just 4 pints of Guinness over three hours), and was driving home from Sri Hartamas, when he encountered a block. The cops ask to check his breath for DUI.

Dude complies and blows into the breathalyzer. The reading shows red. He asks for the other breathalyzer, the one that shows a proper reading. He blows and scores a 50, ie .005%. Which means he passed, as it was well under the 80 limit.

The pigs say he failed, saying that the unit’s reading of 50 meant he was over the limit by 50, coz the unit’s ‘start level’ is 8o. 50 is how much you’re over the limit.

So 50+80 = 130. Haha! What a fucking stupid argument.

Obviously my buddy disputes this. He calls me up (while i’m clubbing!) and asks for advise. I say (or rather yell over the music) “they’re talkin shit. Nevermind! Tell them OK, and to issue you a ticket for drink-driving. So u can nail them later for talking crap.”

They then say they need to confirm the test by taking him back to the station, and do a blood test blah blah blah. He asks them whether he is under arrest, and the punks say no. Which meant he could leave, but they say they cant allow him to drive. One pig says he’ll drive his car to the station for him.

To cut the shit short and spare him further tests and complications, he pays them off.

Fuckers. Extorting the public and making their own law. If they can shoot dead unarmed 14-year-olds, what’s a little extortion?

The legal is made illegal, and the illegal becomes legal. Courtesy of none other than the ‘law enforcers’.

I repeat what i said last month. Drink-driving is allowed, unless ur over the limit. To know the limit, BAC details, etc, u can refer to How to Drink & Drive.

Also, to know your rights when cops try to jerk you, read the Red Book. It’s a must-read brochure that will take you 10 minutes and give you some leverage in such situations. Most people dont realize that the porkies can only ask you to go with them if ur under arrest. Otherwise, u are doin them a favour by not leaving.

And to conduct an arrest, they need to fulfill certain conditions.

Walking away is a last resort tho.

My technique is to be as civil and reasonable as possible (until i lose my patience that is). Generally, if ur nice to them, there’s a good chance u’ll get away without paying them or a fine. (I once breathalyzed a high-score of 160 (personal best) and got away.) But if that dont work, know and exercise your rights.

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For dem ladies

Most booze events have eye candy – promoter chicks.

I thought i’d feature some of ’em from last year. You can also vote in the poll on the right about which brand has d hottest booty.

Salud, ladies!

Tiger Crystal event, Skybar

Sid's TTDI


Thirsty Sunday, Bakita

Gold Label Reserve event, KL

Black Label new bottle, Teeq

Oktoberfest, Souled Out

Christmas party, Malone's

St Patricks' Fest, OneUtama


Thirsty Sunday, Bakita

Kronenbourg launch, The Hill


Thirsty Sunday, Bakita

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Johnnie’s new look

After many, many years, Johnnie Walker has modified the look of its Black Label bottle. The introduction went down at Teeq on Lot 10’s rooftop.

Pre-dinner drinks were several types of whisky cocktails, not really a thing for me, as i enjoy its flavours with water.

Guests were treated to a short talk by the brand ambassador, as well as an interesting “Keep Walking” video, the story of JW.

The whisky has sure come a long way from its origins in John Walker’s grocery store almost 200 years back. The Red Label is the best-selling whisky in the world, with five bottles downed a second.

There was a tasting too! I like. We got to try several of their labels….. including…. ….. Blue! My fave!

Serialized. Dont mess

Of the millions of casks in the Johnnie Walker reserves, only a few in a thousand are set aside to mature for the Blue. Some of these rare casks are from distilleries that no longer exist, making them irreplaceable. But i’m sidetracking.

Ready for 'class'

Yummy. Enjoyed/emptied them all

Yea, use two hands now

The great food of Teeq accompanied the whiskies prepared for us. The finale was ice-cream, chocolate & sum other sweet stuff with a shot of Gold Label Reserve, a special blend that is relatively new. Best enjoyed neat, chilled or over ice.

Seems like a strange combi

Anyway, about the new bottle (almost forgot about that!). I like it. If the old bottle was very classic, the new one’s a mix of that and modern. Should pass the Uncle Test.

The top has a stronger shoulder, while the bottom half has changed significantly – not as squarish, but rounder and refined. The bottle’s base is now an octagon rather than a square.

Security features are enhanced to prevent counterfeit whisky. Once the cap’s seal is popped, a gold ring will indicate that.

Old (L) and new

The labels have also changed, and the bottom label’s gone minimal and transparent to accentuate the bottle’s fine, tight new ass. Check it out. Give it a spank. The new bottles are already out there as of late last month.

.

Brain damage: 8/10

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