The Hill relaunches menu

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The Hill in Damansara Heights has relaunched their cocktail menu with some additions.

Barry Chalmers, who was Theme mag’s UK bartender of the year (2005), had a hand in creating the cocktail menu.

Hit the spot for a taste session.

The Hill's lounge

Kicked off with the Fish Bowl ($69.60, all prices netted), which turned out to be my fave among four cocktails that were featured.

Scoop a fish

It’s inspired by the sangria, and features white wine, cider, amarettto, muddled mango, married with lemon grass and a tinge of spice.

It tastes fruity and a little sweet. It’s got that, how do i put it…. childhood-flashback effect for me, as i did get memories of lollipops. The wine cancels out some of the sweetness.

Hawaii 5-0 (had it in a shot glass)

We also had the Hawaii 5-0 ($46.40), which is served in a pineapple. This is a mix of 1.5 shot Smirnoff Green Apple, rasberry jam,  pineapple juice, and Falernum syrup, which is a slightly spice, Caribbean-style sweetener. Its kinda light, with a mainly sour, n light-bitter flavour.

Barry impressed the crowd with his toy

The Florida Keylime Pie ($34.80) is a drink in a martini glass with a toasted meringue top. The top tastes interesting, while the liquid, which is vodka-based, was too sour for me, as i like my drinks balanced. It’s made of Smirnoff Lime, muddled lime, and a dash of milk.

Cookin up the Florida

We ended with the Tea for Two ($58), served in a teapot. And with scones. Haha! This beverage contains Hendrick’s Gin, strawberry yogurt-infused tea, and strawberry jam. For those with a very sweet tooth.

Screw green tea

The cocktail menu has a good variety of drinks served in creative ways, like the Weedkiller, which comes in a poison bottle.

Drinks spread

There’s a cool and fancy party happenin this Sunday at The Hill, in conjunction with Halloween. It’s a Veuve Clicquot event called Yelloween. Entrance is with the purchase of one bottle of VC. Details, click:

 

Brain damage: 7/10

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New Johnnie Walker Limited Edition

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Black Label has released what i feel is their coolest bottle yet!

It’s large, dark and stylish. And it comes in a awesome box. This is the  Jasper Goodall Limited Edition (only 1,000 bottles worldwide), launched at an art gallery in Bukit Bandaraya recently.

An old picture of an ad

The new bottle has a smoky, dark hue, which fades out at the bottom to reveal the whisky, on a thick base.

At 1750ml, it’s even larger than a magnum. And i especially love how Jasper, a renowned illustrator, has redesigned the legendary Striding Man into a fiery version.

Bottle-autographing in process

Jasper’s inspiration for the limited edition design came from a visit to a whisky distillery years ago when the tour guide explained that over time, a small amount of whisky evaporates and escapes every barrel, and how this process is known as the “angel’s share”.

I wouldn’t light up a cigarette in there.

On fire

The Striding Man, a Johnnie Walker icon, was first drawn by cartoonist Tom Browne on the back of a menu card in 1908.

According to Jasper,  “I wanted to try to visually capture the taste of Black Label, its smoothness, its softness and its golden warmth. Twisting, nebulous forms build together to create images from abstraction; illustrating the entire flavour spectrum.”

Good job

Johnnie Walker’s brand manager Charles Wright feels that this limited edition bottle is a rare piece of JW heritage, and would just as easily find its way into the home of the whisky connoisseur, as it would the home of an art lover.

Same contents - good ol JW Black

Or maybe eBay. Only 1,000 has been produced for the world. Considering  170 million bottles of JW are sold each year, one thousand is only …%, ..well u can do the math.

I wouldnt mess with that guy in a dark alley

I’ve got bottle number 480. You can score yourself a piece directly from Moet Hennessy Diageo (email Daphene.Dunn@mhdm.com.my), with a reasonable RRP of RM788. It definitely has gifting potential.

When ur in trouble, fire-up the Batman spotlight. But thirsty? Striding Man!

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Why I like being a guy

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Well, there are too many reasons to list here, but will focus on one – the way we piss.

We can piss anytime, anywhere, and it’s awesome!

Fuck the long toilet queues at festivals or events or clubs. We’re in and outta there in a flash, to the point chicks start using the Gents. Girls just take too damn long. (Yea, even when paying for stuff)

Hell, we could piss into bottles if we wanted to. Am sure many guys have, coz we got a hose. Handy when you’re in a canoe / kayak and cant stand up due to instability (done dat).

Chicks, well, they have…   not a hose.

Once some asshole even pissed into a beer bottle n left it in the toilet, hoping someone will think its beer and go for it. I didnt buy it.

I have thought about inventing an adapter so chicks can piss standing up.

The human bladder typically holds up to 800ml, but we tend to ‘go’ when it hits 200ml. So i guess u can hold longer than u think.

Booze, damn u!

Guys who’ve never taken a piss outdoors in their adult life probably dont have a dick.

Anyway, when drinking you tend to piss a lot, especially right after you Break the Seal. Damn that crazy phenomenon. You need to practise mind-over-bladder.

And if you’re moving from one place / bar to another or are in the outdoors, you sometimes have no choice but to find the most convenient piss spot.

Anyway, i prefer the outdoors.

Guys have pissed everywhere (dont know about girls), but here’s my opinion of our top choices.

The most common is probably a –

 

1. Drain.

A crowd favourite

Upside: It’s clean, convenient, with zero splash-factor

Downside: You could fall in and drown in your own piss

Pissability rating: 4/5

 

2. Tree

A girl once asked me why guys always have to piss against something. Haha! Hmmm…

Two reasons:

1) We’re dogs

Ride em cowboy!

2) It ensures there’s little splash, or it would make your shoes unhappy.

 

Anyway, tree: Upside: Safe, minimal splash

A cock's eye-view

Downside: We need for the trees to survive

Pissability rating: 4.5/5

 

3. Lamp post

Upside: It’s there. It’s upright

Downside: Very bright. Also if there’s an electricity malfunction, your dick will burn off, while you breakdance n die

Gotta think twice with this one

Pissability rating: 2/5

 

4. Flat surface

Naa

Generally a dumb idea.

Upside: You can draw designs

Downside: Splash-fest. And in your ecstasy of releasing the pressure, you might not hear the car until it’s over you

Pissability rating: 1/5

 

5. Car wheel

Whether your car or others . A dog favourite too. Homey squirts on my car wheel all d time.

Probably mess-up the brakes

Upside: They everywhere! And each car has four targets to choose from

Downside: It takes the shine off. Also, high splash-factor if you dont get the angle right

Pissability rating: 3/5

 

6. Wall / fence

No-brainer

Upside: Walls are everywhere. Minimal splash. Feels like a real wall-urinal, but outdoors, and smell-free. And the outstretched arm against the wall provides much-needed stability

Downside: None

Pissability rating:  5/5. Perfect score!

 

Blissss.....

The weirdest piss i ever had while senget was onto the hood of a car that i thought was unoccupied. Turns out it was occupied. Sort of. You can read about that crazy, ripped, Night Train-fueled night here.

Sorry i dont do stairwells or elevators or indoor spots; that’s for morons.

Did i leave anyone out? There’re also fire hydrants, grass, sign posts, bushes, pots, mile stones, pillars, campfire (to douse fire; fireman mode), logs, lakes.

Next time you take a piss, try a new target eh?

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Alcon – Rockin d nation

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By now, all drinkers know the news – alcohol tax has remained unchanged for another year.

I guess it’s good news, altho Alcon‘s ultimate aim is a restructuring followed by a reduction of taxes.

For a non-registered organization, the media coverage of Alcon has been massive.

Big-up to those who have actively contributed to the fight. Here’s a quick round-up of the last one year, with majority of publicity occurring in the last three months.

 

The Sun

 

The Sarawak Tribune

 

TimeOut KL

 

NewMan

 

The New Straits Times

 

Kwong Wah

 

Malaysiakini

 

Nanyang, i think

 

AsiaOne News

 

The Malaysian Insider

 

The Star

 

The Star, post-Budget reaction

 

The Star, random article in June

Phew.

Hidup, hidup! Hidup Alcon! (sorry to steal your battle cry, Bersih)

Believe it or not, not all are listed here. I left some of the Chinese papers out. Also, there’s a piece about it in my drinking column in Esquire’s October issue. There’s another piece i did for JUICE.

The most recent is the two-page spread in The Star last Saturday, and the BFM interview a week before. There were also our letter(s) just before the Budget in The Star.

Ambik kau!

There’s talk of doing an Alcon launch in KK and Kuching too.

So, Stage 2 (Publicity) is complete. What’s next? Alcon will continue with consumer awareness, and also encourage reasonably-priced outlets, as not all but definitely most over-charge for drinks, tho they wont admit it. Maybe they assume people blame only the government for the prices. Most people still do.

To be frank, the government is only partly to blame. People tend to always fault the government for all their problems! Haha

But the biggest cause of our expensive booze at outlets is very high mark-ups, often 200-300% for beers, and up to 350% for spirits! These are bars, not clubs. It’s unheard of anywhere in the world, and is at the least, unethical.

We’d accept 75% mark-ups, hell even 100%, but more than that is too much. There needs to be a balance, give-and-take. This would translate to less profit initially, but higher turnover, so profit might even increase. Higher turnover also means better incentives from suppliers.

Problem is, they aint in the industry for the passion, that’s for sure. It’s run mostly by quick-buck hunters. Whatever industry they make money from makes no difference to them. As long as it’s lots of money.

I’ll write soon about how many percent of your $$ per drink goes where, and you can decide for yourself if the alcohol industry here is being fair. Maybe i’ll do pie chart. The government and the actual producers receive the least.

I have a feelin even if the government reduces the taxes, consumers aren’t gonna benefit in terms of price reduction, knowing how Malaysian outlets are. Whats the point of all this work then??

Dammit.

The breweries and the spirits companies need to be more responsible. They’re big and influential, but have done virtually nothing to address this situation.

Maybe it’s time they be more responsible and step-up. They tell us to “Drink Responsibly”. How about they “Sell Responsibly”?

At the least, they can create and publicize Recommended Retail Pricing,  so consumers know what’s the deal.

To their credit, Guinness Anchor Bhd (GAB) did give the RRP at outlets for their new German beers. However, this was only after i requested.

Well, at least it’s a start.

When the Euro and US$ dropped very significantly against the ringgit (up to 20%), did consumers benefit at all? Nope! Even tho most of the booze comes from there. Wait if the Euro & US$ rise? They’re sure to make us know it and feel it.

Where’s the basic business ethics in our alcohol industry? Non-existent?

An Alcon member decided to do sumtin about it – he suggested this – get responsible outlets to participate in a win-win partnership with Alcon. If an outlet is determined to be reasonably-priced, they will receive a large, bright badge certified by Alcon that they can display outside their premises, saying Fair Price Outlet.

Consumers who see this will know that outlet has been vouched for by an independent party. And all Alcon members will be notified of the outlet online via direct mail. Great idea.

My buddy is designing the badge now. I can already identify a couple of outlets that qualify. Alcon will work on this next.

Fairness is a simple concept that most short-sighted and money-minded Malaysian businessmen don’t seem to understand. These days, it’s not about win-lose-screw u, but win-win.

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