One or two drinks…

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was d plan. We were doin some absinthe cocktail sampling at Wabisabi. So we sampled. And according to eyewitness reports, were eventually staggering outta there. Haha

We bar flies

We bar flies

There was absinthe + Blue Curacao (Smurf), absinthe cranberry (Ms Hyde), and absinthe + mint liqueur (Dr Jekyll). D cranberry one turned out d best. As it was a sampling, portions were small.

Dr Jekyll's medicine

Dr Jekyll's medicine

Select your potion

Select your potion

So me n Henry decided to ‘top-up’ (konon). We each had three pints of black shit, and The Hulk – absinthe mixed with Guinness (downed that), and three shots of Jose Cuervo, and ended with three shots in a row of absinthe, neat.

Vincent of TWE, d absinthe distributor, showed up at our spot. And probably regretted it. We made him light up his absinthe instead of adding water. Poor guy was shocked, but he downed them neat anyway.

We told him to screw d “French style”, “Swiss style” or watever white-man style that he was showing us and do it KL style. He seemed to like it. Not sure whether he still liked it in d morning.

The Hulk. There's a shooter glass of absinthe in there somewhere

The Hulk. There's a shooter glass of absinthe swimmin in there somewhere

Henry does not remember d lok-lok we had. Does not remember puking at Mad Max’s car. And didn’t know whose traces of puke was in his sink. Well, now u know man.

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Roboalco

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Steve Webster (only 18) should be DEAD, according to the doctors! A crate of beer, plus 1.5 bottles of Absolut and one bottle of Sambuca?? And still walkin around??

Daam. Alien.

Steve will need 10 kilos of bacon for d hangover! He probably holds d world record for most drinks consumed by an individual (that survived).

Scientists should cut him up ASAP. And clone his liver. Hardcore shit.

The most I ever drank alone is….  hmmm.. Don’t think I’ve ever gotten totalled by myself. Normally need teammates / cheerleaders. Coz i’m not an alco.

My max for beer is probably like a dozen. Guinness maybe 10, liquor not sure – at least half a bottle, wine probably 2 bottles, cocktails – 1.5 jugs (Long Island).

But i tend to mix em up n create cocktails – in my stomach.

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Partying & messin about, Laos

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Had an awesome 8-day vacation in Laos in Feb. Three ass-kickers – the bars/cafes, the booze, n d clean, clear river that runs through the town.

We landed in Vientiane and jumped into a van to Vang Vien immediately. Coz dats where its at.

Vang Vien is goddam beautiful, especially adventure stuff, the river and the hills.

I have a general policy to not travel the same place twice, but might make an exception for Vang Vien. It’s a mix of nature, adventure and partying.

We rented a couple of motorcycles (about RM20/day) that were real useful. Trashed them well – off-road n shit, to get to cool spots to drink n party by d river. And some caving.

Beer Lao is Laos’ best-kept secret. The best beer I had in years. Joleen, who dislikes beer, started drinkin beer there. Haha. It’s like two bucks a beer, and available everywhere. And i mean EVERYWHERE. Even under a bridge, by its pillar, while you’re kayaking or tubing downriver. It’s light-tasting and smooth. Alcohol is 5%.

And the local moonshine is called…. guess what? Lao-lao. So dat even if ur drunk n brain-dead, u can still say “more lao-lao!”.

It’s clear rice liquor, like Sarawak’s abortion-inducer, langkau (not to be confused with Sarawak’s mood-enhancer, tuak).

And the top whisky is called Tiger. Both of these are like only 8 bucks a bottle. Tiger is pretty decent. Warms u up quick when tubing downriver. Bars located all along d river. Just wave, they throw u a rope, n pull u in. Exchange some cash, get your booze, continue to float aimlessly downriver. Awesome.

So here are some glimpses. I wasnt carrying so most pix were taken by Khang & Joleen.

Khang enjoys the team's default breakfast

Khang enjoys the team's mandatory breakfast

Crossing d bridge... to d Other Side Bungalows (more like shacks, but luved it)

Crossing d bridge... to d Other Side Bungalows (more like shacks, but luved it)

Here are.... d shacks

Here are.... d shacks

The sun sets in our backyard

The sun sets in our backyard

The first nite. Hazy

The first nite. Hazy

Beer & mandi-sungai huts near our 'resort'

Beer & mandi-sungai huts near our 'resort'

Tiger whisky n sum other shine

Tiger whisky n sum other shine

Made a trip thru fields to a riverside spot to party n jump into d river

Made a trip thru fields to a riverside spot to party n jump into d river

Takin a break from d sun

Takin a break from d sun...

And ended up here. Niiice!

And started monkeying around, after several Smirnoffs

And started monkeying around, after several Green Apple Smirnoffs

Kayaked 8km downriver one morning, with the help of one Beer Lao every km

Here, have a rat. We had a bbq-ed field mouse

Here! Have a rat. We had a bbq-ed field mouse. Rubbery shit

Bars n cafes have Happy Menus

Bars n cafes have Happy Menus

The psycho seven who were on da road. Effortlessly gave Malaysia a bad name

The psycho seven who were on da road. Effortlessly gave Malaysia a bad name

Booze is served Thai style

Booze is served Thai style. Sempoerna pack was BYO

Gettin drunk while tubing. Awesome trip downriver

Avoid these people at all costs

Avoid these travellers at all costs

If u want sights like these over there, u gotta be adventurous n clueless

If u want scenes like these over there, u gotta be adventurous. And clueless

.

Brain damage rating: 8/10

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A beer gut is EARNED

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That’s right. It’s not easy to get a beer gut. It’s hard work.

Man on a mission

Man on a mission

It requires a lot of consumption.

But it’s a myth that alcohol gives u a booze gut.

Excess calories are generally stored as fat around the belly – dont matter whether d calories come from food or drinks. Your body dont discriminate. (For chicas, excess calories are normally stored around them hips. Or ass.)

So if u got a beer gut (or beer ass), u eating too much!

Whether u put on weight or lose weight is a case of simple math. A 30-year-old male, requires like 3,000 calories a day to sustain his weight and body. If he consumes say 2,500 calories that day, he loses weight, as his body will ‘eat’ his existing fat to make up the 500 calories. If he consumes 3,500 calories, the extra 500 is stored, as fat. Easy.

Fats are basically reserve stock of calories.

Of course if the guy above exercised, more than 3,000 calories might be used up that day. Exercise here also includes walkin all d way to d bar for your drink rather than askin d waiter.

So, if u know your calorie usage per day (calculator here), u can approximate your intake and control your weight / belly /ass !

A can of beer has about 100 calories. A mee goreng, 170, mee kari 450 (data here). A Coke 330ml has about 140. So, might as well have a dam beer!

Generally booze has carbs but zero fat. Spirits have near-zero carbs.

It’s easy to guestimate how much u’re taking. Most items have their calorie content anyway on the outside.

Using this is a guide, I hope to have a six-pack by year-end! Haha! Almost there – merely five more packs to go. Yea!

Who am i kidding?

Anyway, if anyone has an interesting bet, am interested. Suggestions welcomed.

If i lose n dont get a sixer by January, i will quit drinking for the whole month.

Haha. Maybe.

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