B..b..but I luv u Rosa baby

Came upon this piece about this hot Jap chick. Her name’s Rosa, and her stats are 35-23-32.

She’s cute, cuddly and stands at 155cm.

Rosa has “a hairless ‘boing-type’ body-hole”. Aka pussy.

She’s d latest bitch coz her body is seamless in the joint areas, being silicone n all.

None of ’em latex crap. Dats yesterday. D future is silicone. Her silicone breasts are also soft and realistic, and so is her skin. It’s smooth and does not feel like latex when touched / fucked.

High-priced body-hole gang-bang

Fuckdatshit. A lil too kinky for me.

Japs are strange. Probably d most schitzo society i know.

They’re all polite n proper n decent but under d surface lies some crazy desire for sexual adventure. In a way, itz cool. Just coz ur nice n courteous dont mean u cant be open about yor perversions.

Anyway, these love dolls aka Candy Girls are big time shit. The latest model (Rosa) will set u back about 20 grand. Bitch.

There’s spare parts like spare pussy for US$160.

There was dis interview with sum dude who has a room full of ’em. He’s spent more than half a million so far on his babes!

Dude watches TV with them, & bathes them n shit.

He’s one of an increasing number of Japanese men who have givun up on dating and marrying women in the real world. “He turns to his dolls for love, affection and sex.” It’s known as agalmatophilia.

Checkitout –

Fuckin hell. How is dat possible? Am sure he has ‘conversations’ with them too, and breaks up fights between them.


I mean wat next?? Would the guys actually start goin out with them? Take em out on dates n drives. Take em to d park?

My friend Fadly said there’s a great movie about a guy who goes out with a doll, called Lars & the Real Girl. Will have to get it.

I guess d upside is i could open a whorehouse here n it would be completely legit! Coz technically, its not prostitution coz it aint human. The cops can’t bust me for pimpin.

Imagine that. I’d be a doll pimp!

My street nick would probably be ‘Rubbers’.

Or Rub-A-Dub. Coz ‘Dollie’ is worse.

How bout Manny Queen?

There could be a fuckin franchise of doll whorehouses all over d city in all d hoods n suburbs. I could make millions.

But its probably cheaper to buy real hookers.

Damn. I dreamt was standing near kl tower. Looked up n saw chunks of
concrete coming from d top. Looked s,all, until they landed. My buddy
took off. I was fascinated. Until And they started landing real close
to me. Fuckin start of an earthquake

Booze speak

Alcos dont really have a particular language of their own, unless they’re really gone n start mumbling in Martian. In which case, a Martian interpreter would be required.

So fuggedaboutit. Its a language u dont need to comprehend. Just nod when ur spoken to.

The way i see it, there are 4 levels of highness –

i) the initial one is the Tease – where u feel sumtin goin on. Some pussies would happily always stop at this stage (Recommended drink to get this feeling: beer / stout / cider / wine / easy cocktails like Screwdriver, Mojito)

ii) then there’s the High – ur feelin a good buzz, talkin louder, more sociable, smiling (Recommended drink: Wine, easy liquors like vodka, rum)

iii) the ur There – really intoxicated, all over the place, buying more booze that u dont really need, possibly doin a mutual-groping session, generally very happy (Recommended drink: any liquor, hard cocktails like Long Island)

At this point, its really 50-50 where its goin – ur walkin a fine line, on the edge – u would either maintain this high, or go over to the other side and get wasted, coz the high wants to just feed on itself. Could lead to the fourth stage of..

iv) Drunk – either mumbling or shouting (depending on the person), half-eyes, partial tongue & mouth paralysis, conversing with strangers / the toilet attendant, not remembering names, snogging, lookin for / organizing an after-party, asking the same damn questions / sayin d same things, dont remember how u got home, a possible toilet-bowl-hugger, and finding strange name cards in your pocket / numbers in your phone d next day. Could lead to drink-induced-amnesia. But dats another story. (Recommended drink: skyjuice).

Getting There - its half d fun

Getting There – its half d fun

In the world of drinking, there are some common alco terms – some are standard-issue, some i made up.

Anyway, here’s some basic terms to get u by.

Sotong (squid) = legless / rubber legs. When u legs feel like they’re giving way under u while ur standing / walking. U could also take one step forward and two steps back, making little progress. In such situations, sit dafuck down

Superb sotong demo here

Ketam (crab) = Not as bad as sotong. U walk like a crab, ie sideways (zig-zag), but at least in the general direction. Pretty common occurence

Drink responsibly = make sure u finish your fucking drink! Wastage is highly irresponsible

Aaarh! Bantai ah!! = The term for “cheers!” in Malaysia if there was one. Can be shortened to “Bantaiii!”

Aa, jemput minum… = a more polite version of the above



Ride the train = Drink Night Train and get fucked-up

Brown-out = “Less intense than the experience of “blacking out” when drunk and not remembering portions (or all) of your night, “browning out” occurs when you don’t remember something until someone brings it up. It’s not a complete blackout, but partial, because you remember once someone refreshes you.” (quoted from Urban Dictionary)

Skull / down / yamseng / cuci = To finish your drink off. Other available terms – polish, clear, mop-up

Potong (cut) = when your getting-high is interrupted by something

Turun (descend) = When your high actually comes down due to something, usually something unpleasant. A sobering experience

Lightweight / fairy / pussy = someone who cant drink

Alco = someone who knows how to

High = intoxicated, buzzed, lift-off, tickled, tipsy

And of course, the most number of terms is to describe..

Drunk = smashed, wasted, balls-up, senget, totalled, woman/man-down, OD, bent, gone, terbabas, blazed, fucked-up, whacked, bowl-hugger, out, tit-floored, hammered, sloshed, trashed, shit-faced, sideways, wrecked, pissed, terbalik


Drunk =

… the dude in d video! Fuckin smashed. Broad daylight sumore.


Some viewers say he’s on ketamine or some other drug. Those who say that have never been totally drunk before.

This situation is known among drunks as rubber legs or being legless. Sotong laa.

The worst cases for me is when i take one step forward, but two steps back. Or do the crab – try to walk forward but zig-zag instead. Ketam. (Will do a glossary of boozing terms soon.)

Its useless trying to be useful in dat stage. Your eyes can hardly see coz they half-closed, your mouth and tongue seem paralyzed & spew out some martian language, your legs forget how to go forward, your balance doesnt exist, and you can even forget where u are.

In fact u might walk like a gangster – your legs are already ahead of u, but your body is catching up. So u look like ur leaning back n walking. Haha

So whats this guy tryin to prove? Haha! The guys who sent him on the beer run must be as fucked or worse.

Definitely an A for effort.

The funniest parts for me is when he’s tryin to open d cooler door, and when he ‘leaves’.

Brain damage: 10/10. PERFECT!


Breakin da goddam seal

… is a goddam bitch. It’s defined as the first piss u take after many drinks, and henceforth u gotta piss every 15 minutes. ITS FUCKED-UP SHIT.

Urban Dictionary has a reasonable definition.

Watever the cause, its fuckin irritating. Sometimes it makes me wanna piss into an empty bottle under d table. It aint so bad for guys tho. We could always take a walk outside n fire away. And guys can piss anywhere on the way to & from a pub or bar. Car parks, trees & drains are a fave.

In fact, i’ve thought of creating a disposable piss adaptor that chicks can wear over d groin, so they too can piss anywhere while standing up. How ladies? Interested? Its fun.

Well, cavemen/women had it easier.

And at least there r no queues at guys toilets. If i was a girl, i probably wd have pissed while in queues many times by now. I guess chicks got better holding power, since they can like give birth n shit. Respect.

Its worse with outlets that dont have d goddam decency to provide a toilet, like the glorified mamak, Laundry.

The human bladder is about 5in by 3in, and has a max capacity of about 800ml – one liter, or at least one bottle of wine, but we tend to have the urge from 200ml.

Beer - biggest dam culprit for pissing problems

Beer - biggest dam culprit for pissing problems

Holding piss in is one of the biggest side-effects and problems associated with drinking. (Other than not remembering what happened of course.) We ALL know how good it feels when u finally let go. In fact, its almost orgasmic.

Why does this happen tho. Why does the first piss open d floodgates? Any scientific explanation?

Anyway, from my research, there are a few theories.

One says “If you have to pee that much sooner as you continue drinking, it may be that you are simply less able to control your bladder, the drunker you become. I’ve seen drunks pee their pants without them even knowing it.”

Wat u talk? Our bladders also get drunk??

U can checkout how some medic school geeks study the issue at this blog. Too techy for me.

The best answer? “Because alcohol inhibits the hormone that helps your body hold onto water (it’s called ADH, or anti-diuretic hormone). So your urine output increases rapidly, out of proportion to the amount you drink, and your bladder fills up quicker and quicker. This is how you get dehydrated despite the fact that you are taking in fluids. Short answer – you are making more urine (more than d liquids u consume). It has nothing to do with the mechanics of the bladder.”

Thanks Einstein. But u didnt give a solution, did u asshole? Pop some ADH pills?

Even when u drink tons of black shit, your piss comes out clear. Where does all that black go??

Even when u drink LITERS of black shit, your piss comes out clear right away. Where does all that black go??

My only solution – have a good piss as soon as i arrive at d drinking spot. So it takes a lot longer before i gotta break da seal. Coz drinking less is outta d question.

In fact, drinking while pissing is niice. (Though it seems like ur wasting booze – it feels like its goin straight from throat to bladder to urinal.)

Also, u got a sterile, nice-tasting liquid to wash up with. Cool.

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