O God, i travelled to a conservative,  alcohol-free party! I hope i can forgive myself. Definitely a first, and the last. But I’ll never forget Freedom Festival.

Although it was a good production technically, the authorities messed things up.

Thank you for making me travel without leaving Malaysia. I thought I was in fuckin Afghanistan – no alcohol, no ‘sexy’ looks.

I also thought I was lost at party for primary school kids – strictly 12-year-olds and below, coz although we adults are allowed to drink, 12-year-olds aren’t allowed to drink.

Last time I checked, I was in fuckin Malaysia and I was a fuckin adult, able to make my own decisions and choices.

It was a new government effort to try and create a ‘new trend’ in partying – no alcohol, no sexy tops, security gorillas all over d place. Next, they’ll try to enforce these rules at club events if no one says anything. I mean, what’s the difference? This event was exactly like a club event, just a different venue.

Why? Are drugs (but not alcohol) acceptable to religion? Instead of legal drinks, everybody can get high on illegal drugs. And dress like Arab women.

Anyway, on Saturday, d second night of the party at Malacca’s A Famosa Resort, we go in about 10pm after a cool pre-party at our villa, where we were drinking ‘illegally’.

My friend Joleen comes out to meet me and pass me my invite & tag. I put it on and we head to “Re-entry”. A fuckin moron taking care of re-entry stops us. He didn’t gimme his name, so let’s call him Mr Freedom. Here’s how it went down:

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Mr Freedom: “Sorry u can’t go in!” (to Joleen).

I: “Huh? What??

Mr Freedom: “She can’t dress like this. Her back is showing”

I: “Watdehell are u talkin about?”

– I’m more confused than anything else –

Mr Freedom: “Showing too much. I saw her go in just now, but now I cant let her in”

I: “”Are u kiddin me?? Why?”

Mr Freedom: “Can see her back. Sorry she can’t dress like that”

– I’m pissed –

I: “What!!?? She’s an adult! She can dress how dehell she wants!

Mr Freedom” “I cant let her in”

I: “We’re with the media, here to write about the fest. U want us to write about this?”

Mr Freedom: “I dont care about that. Cover it up! Got Muslim religious department inside” (Mr Freedom is not even a Muslim)

I: “I dont give a shit about them! We’re not even Muslims!”

Mr Freedom: “Doesnt matter!”

I:” Watdefuck are u talkin about!!?? Where dehell does it say anything about not showing your back in the rules or the ticket?!! Show me now! We paid money for this! What’s your name??

Mr Freedom: “NO! That’s the law! Cover it up. Go buy a t-shirt” (a Freedom Fest t-shirt, which was crap)

– Now I’m really pissed, and start yelling, and get others watching d fun –

I: “Dats bullshit! Dat’s not da fuckin law! She’s a Christian. U got sumtin against fuckin Christians?!! Huh?!! Watdefuck do u have against Christians?!

Freedom: “No thats the law / our rules! (or watever) U dont cover u not going in!”

I: “No, we’re not gonna do that! Let me speak to who’s in charge! Ur wasting my fuckin time!”

Freedom: “I’m in charge!”

I: “Really? FUCK YOU, we’re goin in!”

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I tell Joleen “Go in now. Fuck dis asshole.”

I barge through. I can hear the puta shouting “Dont let him in!”

I’m not sure what happened, but we get in. Maybe he backed-down as i was so pissed.

I don’t think Joleen said a word. Haha.

Who made him God?

(Joleen wore a top that covered her entire front, with the back exposed, except for the strings to tie the top with. Most of her back was covered by her long hair.)

Should she have worn a black Arabian hijab?

I looked everywhere for Mr Freedom aka Taliban on my way out at 130am, but no luck. Party ended before 2am on both nights, leaving many disappointed guests. Officially, the authorities only allowed it until 1am. It used to be 3am.

I dont givafuck if d fuckin Pope and the mufti of Saudi Arabia were in there. The idea of an event like this is to relax and enjoy yourself, not get told off by God-wannabes. If u gonna do an event like this, it has to be done well or not at all.

Girls, if u wanna party, never dress like Joleen (left). Wear a t-shirt. Cover your back. Shoulders too while ur at it

A bunch of 12 of my friends remained in their bungalows the next nite and refused to enter d event. They’d rather party by themselves, stress-free, with a drink in hand.

How ridiculous is dat? A party for adults with no booze. Obviously they did not allow anyone to bring their own either. In fact the put a banner at the entrance to the resort (not to d event) – “No outside food & drink allowed.” Thankfully (for them) they didnt enforce it, or there would have been a riot. What were they plannin to do, search all d cars and people that were checking-in to d resort??

If there was no alcohol, the least the organizers could have done was to issue an early warning: “Alcohol-free event.” A lot of us would have saved our time and money and gone for Steve Aoki’s gig instead. Or had a beer at some pub.

I didnt travel hundreds of kilometres and spend hundreds of dollars to get crapped on. At best, they won’t bother to organize an event like this again. And the authorities need to offer an apology to all guests and all Malaysians.

We were inadvertently sold out to the authorities. And our Constitution shat on. Since d cops are crapping on our Constitution, all the other agencies wanna join in.

What happened to freedom of religion? And civil liberty?

I ask Joleen on d way home to KL “U know, we just wanna relax and have some recreation. Why do some people go outta their way to spoil d good time that others are having?”

She says “Maybe they’re can’t stand others enjoying themselves. Maybe they lead sad lives.” Yea I agree.

Reminds me of Euphoria / MOS. And clubbing in Australia.

OK, we see the DJ. So where’s d bar?

I been told dat all organizers now are bound by the ridiculous terms and conditions that d Federal government laid down. But I definitely did not, and will never agree to these conditions.

So Freedom Festival, though a production-wise and musically a success, did not live up to its name.

So, its best to remove the word “Freedom” from next year’s event. Unless it will reflect what it means.

If such a thing ever happens to u or a friend, make sure you FUCK THEM UP. Dont accept their illogical excuses. There is NO LAW against sexy clothing for non-Muslims.

Yea dats right. U better respect dat flag and the freedom it represents, or gedda fuck outta this country

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Note: Since the government is making up these new rules recently, the choice is either to accept it, or not. If u think Malaysia should remain a secular nation for multi-religions, and not become like Afghanistan, u can write to your paper. I was told that it’s the work of the Information, Communications, and Culture Minister, Rais Yatim who is on a crusade to ‘reform’ all of us into robotic morons.

And he’s only getting started. Next time u attend a gig or international concert, u can expect d same bullshit. Or worse.

Rais is d guy who last year said: “Local women intending to travel abroad alone may need family consent to leave, in a bid to prevent them from being used as “drug mules” by international syndicates.” Haha!  Right. So u see wat kind of person is in charge?

Next time there’s such an event, call d organizers and ask if there’s alcohol. Then give your opinion, whether for or against, dats your call.

Anyway, groups & NGOs in Selangor as well as the stupid, ultra-conservative & ancient-brained ‘Consumers’ Association of Penang are calling for a ban on beer from 7-11, convenience stores and coffeeshops. BEER. I would assume shandy too, as it’s equally ‘evil’.

The conservatives won this round. The liberals and radicals need to make sum noize too, including our Muslim brothers who are dissatisfied with these government agencies. If you dont, it implies u agree with what’s goin on, and make these dumb conservatives and Taliban-wannabes even bolder. There’s no point bitching in d future when its too late. And women can only go partyin or clubbing dressed in t-shirts! And wear sarongs and not bikinis to d beach. Dat would suck, coz I sure dig bikinis.

And in d future, I dont want our kids inheriting a fucked-up, intolerant, fanatical country coz we did nuthin to prevent it.

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Write to:

The Star: editor@thestar.com.my &  metro@thestar.com.my

or The Sun: fred@thesundaily.com & citizen-nades@thesundaily.com

or NST: news@nstp.com.my & mailed@nstp.com.my

or all three separately. Hopefully they’ll publish it.

Include name, IC n address

Attn: Letters to Editor

I have already done so.

U can state that we adults don’t need the Information, Communications, and Culture Ministry or religious authorities or the government telling us how to dress or what to eat or drink.