Feasting @ Brussels Beer Cafe

Raided Brussels Beer Cafe (03-6205-2999, Soho KL), my first time there. They got a new menu out. It was on invitation – To shred a 12-course dinner!

Even seven-courses tend to kill me. Anyway, tried to focus on ale more than the food, but failed!

Some of the options

BBC’s menu features traditional Belgian favourites, and many of ’em have beer in the food. Nice. The menu is extensive.

The first section of the menu says “Beer Food”. Cool.

More than beer

Salivate

The welcome drink (and my next 8 drinks) was a Konig Ludwig (abv 5.5%), one of my favourite beers. This is a Bavarian German wheatbeer. And now…. they got it on tap, only at Brussels.

Wheatbeers are one of the oldest styles of beers around, from way back in Babylonian times. Konig (meaning King) is brewed using traditional methods. It makes a lively, refreshing ale of contrasts – a little bitter and fruity at the same time, but also creamy and dry. Kinda great with every meal.

The ales kept coming, and i kept guzzlin. Then the food started to appear.

The bread was good too

The prawn bisque arrived (a bisque is a creamy, highly-seasoned soup of French origin). This is quite a salt-infused offering, and the bread is also very dry-shrimpy, well-neutralized by good gulps of the Konig.

Belgium is famous for its mussels, so we had some. The Moules Hoegaarden ($56.60 net)  is cooked with beer, coriander, lemon and celery.Great stuff – tangy and creamy.

Tryin to get out are yall? Well, too late

Moules Mariniere is steamed with white wine rather than ale, garlic, celery and onion, and has distinctively bolder flavours.

The Blind Finches ($16) aint blind at all. It’s a portion of minced pork balls, wrapped in thin bacon, slow-braised in some Belgian ale – a Leffe Blond onion sauce. Mmm mmm mmh! Possibly my favourite item.

What i liked most – the thick, malty, groovy sauce that the meat is sunk in. I could drink a mug of it!

Put it in a glass!

Dead baby

The Baby Beef Ribs ($25.30) are high-quality cuts, that are simply bbq-ed. A lil chewy, but tender as well. And juicy.

We also had Roast Pork ($23). If u dunno what that is, quit.

Guess

Then came some major firepower. A fuckin bucket-sized mug of Hoegaarden, followed by a boot-sized glass of Paulaner Dunkel. Thankfully there were other drinkers to work on it too.

O shit, did i say “thankfully”??

The dunkel (dark) wheatbeers are one of my favourite varieties, as it provides a cool blend of wheat and roast. Perfect.

The Dunkel, next to a tall pint glass

Suckerzz

The showcase of the dinner soon appeared. It was an elephant’s dick-sized sausage. Am dead serious. Called The Big One! ($70.80).

Longer than the average arm

Basically, a mega meal. Great to share, as its actually cut-up and served skewered with large toothpicks. The two-pounds of meat is really…. meaty. The sausage is very-compact, thus more filling than normal ones. I’d say five people could snack on it.

The less hungry can opt for the Pork bacon Cheesy Burger ($21.80), pork patty with bacon strips and… melted cheeeeese.

After about 90 minutes, sobriety and civil behaviour began to seriously go downhill, fast. Of course, it was thanks to us drinkin from Bigfoot’s mug.

Couldnt make it to d toilet on time, so improvized

Savagely stuffed, i bailed.

Heavy session

All i could think of wuz chillin. Horizontal chillin. With a bed and a movie.

Beer prices (lagers and ales) are above average to high, with Hoegaarden at $27.80 (happy hour), and $32.50, while the Ludwig is $30.20 and $34.80. There’re lots of bottled beers too.

Quite a few on the pipes

I gotta say food is generally impressive. With the variety of ales on tap, a good meal and drinks are always possible.

Will have to starve myself 24-hours beforehand if i’m invited there again.

.

Brain damage: 8/10

Quite a few on the pipes

Beer prices (lagers and ales) are above average to high, with Hoegaarden at $27.80 (happy hour), and $32.50, while the Ludwig is $30.20 and $34.80. There’re lots of bottled beers too.

Besides Soho KL (map), there’re outlets in Jaya One, Ampang and Hap Seng.

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You had me at ignite

Scored a rare bottle of Lemon Hart, demerara rum. Aka Lemon Hart 151.

My sweet hart. Haha

Demerara is a light brown raw-cane sugar from Guyana, which is  fermented then distilled. These rums are used to make Tiki cocktails (Tiki is a Polynesian-inspired cultural fad) like Mai Tai and Zombie. Lemon Hart 151 is supposedly THE rum for this, as opposed to others like Bacardi 151.

The clincher – the alcohol. Dis mafucker packs it in at 151 proof, or..

Ouch

Daaamn niga, sgonna smack your head up! Bitch is more lethal than most absinthes. 75.5 will be a new record for me, as the highest i’ve had is 75.

Overproof rums are popular among the locals in the Caribbean islands. Winos. There was concern when Pernod Ricard sold the Lemon Hart brand to Mosaiq last year, as the 151 disappeared for a short while. But its back! It’s dark as hell. The bottle is clear but looks black.

Strange thing is, there’s a warning on the back label. “… extremely flammable… blah blah… danger of uncontrolled flaming… blah blah..” Then it goes n says this – “Empty into a cool or warm surface to ignite, never onto an open flame.”

Wazzat??! “To ignite”??

OK, will have to do some research on the drinking ritual before i open him up. I guess you could light em up even if its in a cocktail.

Want one? Its available in Langkawi (the old stock/design). Price? Only 45!

I luurv Langkawi. You can find real weird shit there, and they’re the cheapest on this planet. Kuah town is like fuckin Disneyland.

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Drinks, dirty cops & roadblocks

Cops here are generally dirty, at all levels, even way up high (or maybe especially). That’s the presumption. The cops on the street are no different. But u do normally have a choice – bribe, or accept the fine/arrest. As far as possible, take the fine.

The other option is doing the designated driver (and designated drunk) thing.

Fortunately, i havent offered a bribe for years. I hope to keep it that way.

Anyway, some of ’em are crooks who con you that you’re breakin d law, even when u aren’t. Thats real fucked-up. Licensed thugs.

It happened to a good buddy of mine last month. He had a coupla drinks (just 4 pints of Guinness over three hours), and was driving home from Sri Hartamas, when he encountered a block. The cops ask to check his breath for DUI.

Dude complies and blows into the breathalyzer. The reading shows red. He asks for the other breathalyzer, the one that shows a proper reading. He blows and scores a 50, ie .005%. Which means he passed, as it was well under the 80 limit.

The pigs say he failed, saying that the unit’s reading of 50 meant he was over the limit by 50, coz the unit’s ‘start level’ is 8o. 50 is how much you’re over the limit.

So 50+80 = 130. Haha! What a fucking stupid argument.

Obviously my buddy disputes this. He calls me up (while i’m clubbing!) and asks for advise. I say (or rather yell over the music) “they’re talkin shit. Nevermind! Tell them OK, and to issue you a ticket for drink-driving. So u can nail them later for talking crap.”

They then say they need to confirm the test by taking him back to the station, and do a blood test blah blah blah. He asks them whether he is under arrest, and the punks say no. Which meant he could leave, but they say they cant allow him to drive. One pig says he’ll drive his car to the station for him.

To cut the shit short and spare him further tests and complications, he pays them off.

Fuckers. Extorting the public and making their own law. If they can shoot dead unarmed 14-year-olds, what’s a little extortion?

The legal is made illegal, and the illegal becomes legal. Courtesy of none other than the ‘law enforcers’.

I repeat what i said last month. Drink-driving is allowed, unless ur over the limit. To know the limit, BAC details, etc, u can refer to How to Drink & Drive.

Also, to know your rights when cops try to jerk you, read the Red Book. It’s a must-read brochure that will take you 10 minutes and give you some leverage in such situations. Most people dont realize that the porkies can only ask you to go with them if ur under arrest. Otherwise, u are doin them a favour by not leaving.

And to conduct an arrest, they need to fulfill certain conditions.

Walking away is a last resort tho.

My technique is to be as civil and reasonable as possible (until i lose my patience that is). Generally, if ur nice to them, there’s a good chance u’ll get away without paying them or a fine. (I once breathalyzed a high-score of 160 (personal best) and got away.) But if that dont work, know and exercise your rights.

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For dem ladies

Most booze events have eye candy – promoter chicks.

I thought i’d feature some of ’em from last year. You can also vote in the poll on the right about which brand has d hottest booty.

Salud, ladies!

Tiger Crystal event, Skybar

Sid's TTDI


Thirsty Sunday, Bakita

Gold Label Reserve event, KL

Black Label new bottle, Teeq

Oktoberfest, Souled Out

Christmas party, Malone's

St Patricks' Fest, OneUtama


Thirsty Sunday, Bakita

Kronenbourg launch, The Hill


Thirsty Sunday, Bakita

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