DIY apple cider / alcohol

OK here it is finally, how to make sidra / cider after some teasing in a recent post about yeast, and one before that. Had to be sure how to do it. So now you can make your own apple booze at home, or any other fruit!

Makes u realize what cheap shit alcohol actually is. Low cost to produce. But at least its 100% natural ingredients.

All-natural sidra

Drink your fruits!

Dead easy, even if ur retarded. Easier & quicker than tuak too.

This recipe is based on 12 liters of juice.

1. Get the juice – recommended brand – Berri – which comes in 2.4 liter bottles. So get 5 bottles.

2. Stir in 1kg (one pack) of fine white sugar to some warm apple juice until its dissolved.

3. Pour this and the rest of d juice into a container (an air-tight one, that is, the fermenter).

4. Add in a tablespoon of pounded yeast n stir. Seal the container but create an air-lock.

5. Wait a couple of weeks.

6. Have a party. (& invite me)

Yeast can be bought at Chinese medicine stores. I get mine from Centerpoint, PJ. 6o cents a pop, which is equal to 2 tablespoons. It’s “sweet yeast for Chinese wine”. Aka chao peng.

Yeasts are our friends

Yeasts are our friends

The only part that requires a brain is the airlock. If u can buy one, good. Otherwise a crude one that works is a tube running from a created air-tight gap in the top of the air-tight container (the fermenter) into a bottle of water. Co2 produced by the yeast can exit the fermenter into the water via d tube, but O2 and outside air cant go back in. Easy.

Coz if too much air goes in, u could end up with vinegar.

The airlock of the future

The 'airlock' of the future

After two weeks, sample d shit everyday until it tastes good, and u can feel some alcohol. My last one was bottled at 18 days & tasted dam good.

My fermenter - phat. With airlock (top) & tap (right)

My fermenter - phat. With airlock (top) & tap (right)

For the fermenter, i used a beer fermenter – a plastic barrel that holds about 25 liters. It comes with an airlock & tap. The other option is a polycarbonate water container, available at Tesco for about 40 bucks, and its perfect. Comes with an airtight cap. Capacity 15 liters.

Great as a fermenter

Great as a fermenter

For that, you’ll need 6 bottles.

Raw booze

Raw booze. About 10 bucks for 2.4 liters

Just punch a tight-fitting hole in the rubber cap for the outlet tube / airlock. Seal any gap around the hole with some shit, like Blu Tack or silicone. It comes with a tap, so u can easily sample d shit.

Plan B

A quicker, low-quantity method is using a bottle instead of a barrel. All u need is..

A funnel & balloons

A funnel & balloons

Pour any fruit juice that is preservative-free into a bottle – glass / plastic. Add like 8-10 spoons of sugar via the funnel & mix well. Add a quarter teaspoon of yeast & mix. Seal the bottle mouth with a balloon over it, and you’re practically done. Takes five minutes.

After a few days, the balloon will inflate. Good. It means the fuckin yeasts are doin their job. Use a needle to stab a hole – as tiny as possible. CO2 will escape slowly from d bottle, but no O2 will go in.

About 2 weeks later, u got booze. Filter the booze thru a strainer to strain out the yeast sediments & foam, then drink!

Trillions of yeasts workin their butts off, creating a whole lotta CO2

Trillions of yeasts workin their butts off, creating a whole lotta CO2 that races to the top (pix taken after 5 days)

I guess since bottles dont have taps, u cant really test. Its ok to remove the balloon occasionally to taste-test d brew, but do it too often, u might end up with fucking vinegar.

Collection of juices being fermented - mango, orange, mixed fruits

Collection of juices being fermented - mango, orange, mixed fruits

When the brew is ready, bottle them, preferably in plastic bottles to avoid glass bottles explosions, and close the cap air-tight.

Its basically ready-to-drink. Place in fridge so that the fermentation ends. Cold temperature makes yeast chillout n stop working. The brew might even go clear after a few days. But murky is fine!

If u’d like more fizz, pour into a plastic bottle, add a teaspoon or two of sugar and close the bottle cap. The yeast will feed on the sugar and release CO2. Coz the cap is sealed, the CO2 cant escape & will get absorbed into the drink, makin it fizzy. (Yeasts r freaks dat dont need oxygen to survive.) After a day to two, u can test, then place in fridge. I suggest u store & reuse the apple juice bottles, but rinse them before u store, or the little remaining juice makes the bottles go moldy inside after awhile.

Release some air if the bottle looks like its gonna pop.

So there will still be yeast in the sidra when u drink. Its fine. Good for health. B-complex & protein.

Plastic bottles are preferred if u plan to add more sugar at the end, and seal the cap for fizz, coz the pressure build-up in glass bottles can cause them to explode. Throw them at the cops i guess.

Hmm. Maybe for the next protest.

The most important thing to remember – hygiene. Everything has to be sanitized (washed with soap) just before u start. Your hands, the utensils, the bottles, the fucking balloons, the fermenter, the goddam caps. And no chemicals. Yeast can die on contact with soap, so make sure u rinse all d soap off. Everything has to be natural.

And no, u wont go blind, unless u add methanol to your brew.

More yeast = faster process. More sugar = more alcohol. More yeast AND more sugar? Try n lemme know.

There are lots of resources online, like this. Plan to make chocolate wine, but dont know yet where to get preservative-free chocolates.

Anyway, there it is! Fruit juice + sugar + yeast and u got it made.

If ur cheap-ass, sugary water + yeast does the job too!

Enjoy!
.


Hard Apple Cider on Foodista

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The boxx & the malt

Hit a a Remy Martin new product launch in some bar recently in Kota Damansara, and a tasting by The Glenlivet at some bar in Hartamas.

a

Delicious freezing shots

Remy Martin now allows u to drink the cognac from a dispenser that chills it to minus 18C! Gosh!

Easier done than said

Easier done than said

Ever got brain freeze by drinkin liquor neat? It’s possible if u have a whole glass of dis stuff.

Pleasure box

Pleasure box

The bottle is placed inverted on the box, and the cognac flows thru and emerges out via a tap, extra cold. Simple.

At the launch at Parking, we were handed shooters – i had like 7, and they’re incredibly smooth and taste real good!

Thing is there only four units of these meant for Malaysia, so your luck which bar they’re being rotated at. If u spot a red box on the bar, it’s your lucky day.

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Dis friendly Scottish dude Darren Hosie, Chivas Brothers’ International Brand Ambassador, led The Glenlivet tasting at Roponggi. The Glenlivet is a pioneering brand in Scotland’s single-malt industry, and has been around for more than 150 years.

Darren gettin warmed up

Darren gettin warmed up

Dude instructs us to add some water into each glass of Glenlivet – there were several types there, ranging from 12 years to 25 years – then give it a sniff, and a sip. Based on his short presentation about each Glenlivet, we were supposed to guess which one we were tasting.

I find this kind of exercises pretty futile coz we aint experts to make guesses. A better way would have been to tell us what we were having, so we can appreciate and understand it better. Also, the amount of water added into each sample varies, giving different opinions on the strength and power of d Scotch.

Anyway, we drink all of em down, coz they were dam good. Met Sue Lynn, a food blogger who did a great job to sort our bites from d menu.

Trippy bar display, trippier when drunk

Trippy bar display, trippier when drunk

Brain damage rating: 7/10

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Breakin da goddam seal

… is a goddam bitch. It’s defined as the first piss u take after many drinks, and henceforth u gotta piss every 15 minutes. ITS FUCKED-UP SHIT.

Urban Dictionary has a reasonable definition.

Watever the cause, its fuckin irritating. Sometimes it makes me wanna piss into an empty bottle under d table. It aint so bad for guys tho. We could always take a walk outside n fire away. And guys can piss anywhere on the way to & from a pub or bar. Car parks, trees & drains are a fave.

In fact, i’ve thought of creating a disposable piss adaptor that chicks can wear over d groin, so they too can piss anywhere while standing up. How ladies? Interested? Its fun.

Well, cavemen/women had it easier.

And at least there r no queues at guys toilets. If i was a girl, i probably wd have pissed while in queues many times by now. I guess chicks got better holding power, since they can like give birth n shit. Respect.

Its worse with outlets that dont have d goddam decency to provide a toilet, like the glorified mamak, Laundry.

The human bladder is about 5in by 3in, and has a max capacity of about 800ml – one liter, or at least one bottle of wine, but we tend to have the urge from 200ml.

Beer - biggest dam culprit for pissing problems

Beer - biggest dam culprit for pissing problems

Holding piss in is one of the biggest side-effects and problems associated with drinking. (Other than not remembering what happened of course.) We ALL know how good it feels when u finally let go. In fact, its almost orgasmic.

Why does this happen tho. Why does the first piss open d floodgates? Any scientific explanation?

Anyway, from my research, there are a few theories.

One says “If you have to pee that much sooner as you continue drinking, it may be that you are simply less able to control your bladder, the drunker you become. I’ve seen drunks pee their pants without them even knowing it.”

Wat u talk? Our bladders also get drunk??

U can checkout how some medic school geeks study the issue at this blog. Too techy for me.

The best answer? “Because alcohol inhibits the hormone that helps your body hold onto water (it’s called ADH, or anti-diuretic hormone). So your urine output increases rapidly, out of proportion to the amount you drink, and your bladder fills up quicker and quicker. This is how you get dehydrated despite the fact that you are taking in fluids. Short answer – you are making more urine (more than d liquids u consume). It has nothing to do with the mechanics of the bladder.”

Thanks Einstein. But u didnt give a solution, did u asshole? Pop some ADH pills?

Even when u drink tons of black shit, your piss comes out clear. Where does all that black go??

Even when u drink LITERS of black shit, your piss comes out clear right away. Where does all that black go??

My only solution – have a good piss as soon as i arrive at d drinking spot. So it takes a lot longer before i gotta break da seal. Coz drinking less is outta d question.

In fact, drinking while pissing is niice. (Though it seems like ur wasting booze – it feels like its goin straight from throat to bladder to urinal.)

Also, u got a sterile, nice-tasting liquid to wash up with. Cool.

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