Here’s sumtin i read online re assumptions made by bartenders regarding their customers, based on what they order.

Malibu & Coke: You vomit easily.

Vodka Cranberry: You don’t know what you want in life, or at this bar.

Patron: Danger. I am adding gratuity to your check.

Gin & Tonic: $$$

Vodka & Tonic: We could be friends.

Long Island Ice Tea: You just broke up with your boy/girl and have chosen tonight as the night you will “move on”.

Foreign Beer: You are on a 2nd or 3rd date, trying to impress the girl with your cultured taste for Turkish pilsner.

Cosmo: For the love of God, hurry up and finish the 6th season of Sex & The City.

Red Bull & Vodka: You’re an asshole.

Pinot Grigio: You are approaching menopause faster than you think.

Pinot Noir: You don’t really go to bars.

Moscato: You listen to too much rap.

Gran Marnier: What are you doing here?

Vodka Martini: You had a serious day at work, or you are a functional alcoholic.

White Russian: Obsessed with The Big Lebowski, and probably The Daily Show. Or, you just like to drink dessert.

Lillet/Campari/Aperol: You’re twee, and possibly like to throw around words like “mixology.”

White wine: You’re definitely a woman. You’re possibly a little uptight.

Prosecco: You’re often a little uptight, but tonight you’re looking to party.

Margarita: All of your relationships have either begun or ended at a wet t-shirt contest.

Whiskey, neat: You’re hot. Regardless of gender.

Jäger: Secretly wishing you were hanging out with your buddies.

Martini: If you’re a guy, you’re trying to impress (and it’s probably working). If you’re a girl drinking a dirty martini, you’re a hot mess: the dirtier, the messier, the hotter.

Vodka on the Rocks: Too self-conscious to actually order a martini.

Singapore Sling: You learned to drink from your mother.

Zombie: No matter what people say, you’re getting along just fine without long-term memory.

Tequila Slammer: You’re down-to-earth. Usually face-down.

I too have got my own assumptions:

Champagne: You like drinking

Cognac: You like drinking

Mojito: You like drinking

Anything with alcohol: You like drinking