Booze baby-sitter

Drive around a lot? Tired of spilling an ice-cold drink under your goddam crotch? Sick of unnecessary wastage?

Drinking-while-driving and there’s no place to store your drink?

Yea, i know, it really sucks.

Sure, sometimes there’s someone next to u who can be a drink holder, but then the person might over-tax the drink n leave u with nutin. Besides, the hands always make the drink warm.

Now, a solution to all the world’s drink-driving problems.

Behold…… The Drink Holder!……

Ta daa!

The super-duper expandable drink holder from Daiso is here. This customizable mama latches onto your window and doesnt let go. Got a little 330ml can of beer? Just pull it out halfway, and stick d can safely in there. No more will u be fumbling around for the can and crash into a house.

That would spill the whole can dammit.

For da ride

Got a high 500ml bottle instead? No sweat, expand The Drink Holder to its max length, and the bottle hangs out snugly inside, with no spillage. It can be shortened to hold glasses too.

Stay!

Unlike those ring holders, this one’s much more stable, holds bottles, and the all-round wrap helps keep the drink insulated and cold. Its polypropylene, with a minimum temp of minus 20C and a max of 120C. Just stick the hook in between the window and the rubber edge.

Its another one of them very handy cold-retention gear that was reviewed here before, to add to d collection.

Sweet deal at 5 bucks a pop, and comes in grey & black. There used to be blue too. Got them at Daiso in the car accessory aisle.

Great gifts for alco frens. Go get em before i buy them all.

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Them essential coolerators

No self-respecting alco would go thru life without some cold-retaining gear, specifically to store drinks / ice.

Such equipment are necessities, especially for house parties / road trips. Coz warm booze sucks. If d beer/booze aint cold due to bad storage / lack of ice, dont bother serving. Its an insult to guests. Even while travelling.

Unless its hot Irish Coffee.

There are various insulated gear out there, some for adventure, some for sports, some for picnics, some for booze. Almost all are suitable for alcos. The kick-ass backpack-drinking gear (hydration packs), which is great as it goes wherever u go has already been featured here.

However, for less mobile needs, there’s plasticware known as eskies, igloos, ice-boxes or coolers. Those ozone-depleting styrofoam ones dont last, and they aint serious.

Coleman is a familiar American brand, and the most widely available here.

Basic

Basic

This one’s got a decent size and will hold quite a bit of shit. It’s normally sold as a set of 3 units – the main box above, a six-pack box, and a jug – all for under 200 bucks.

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The Coleman six-packer is cool as the top flips over and slides to create a slidable can/glass-holder tray

The Coleman set is extremely suitable for amateur alcos.

For the pros, there’s the top-notch Ultra Cold 50 (by Igloo).

The party man

The party man

This baby has kept ice for five days! It’s pretty tough too. It’s lasted me 7 years now.

Ultra alrite

Ultra alrite

This model costs more than 200 bucks.

Besides the hard coolers, for easy-packing when travelling, nothing beats the soft coolers. These are foldable and pretty decent in cold-retention. Much cheaper too.

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Igloo soft-cooler with 24-can capacity

A medium-sized one is perfect as it can hold loads of ice & large bottles too.

Then there’re those bottle condoms, made of sponge which would fit a bottle of white wine snugly to retain the cold. Had a few, dunno where they gone!

For when u chillin w yor homies / bitchis by d poolside/riverside/beach, there are the insulated jugs and flasks which would work. I’ve a little dispenser unit.

Cute but deadly

Cute but deadly

I’ve hardly used dis one coz i always tot it was too small, when in fact it’s got a 3.8-liter capacity, meaning i could unload one bottle of liquor into the mix. Will use it more often now!

It can also hold a six-pack.

Unlike most brands, all Igloo products are made in USA. S0 a better option for amateur alcos would be Igloo’s three-piece combo (below).

Recommended

Recommended

Unlike Coleman, it’s not available at super/hypermarkets, but at angling stores. However u can get it direct from the dealer (in PJ), Adventure & Leisure, for $199 (Tel: 7956-0908).

They’ve gotta whole range of outdoor shit & scuba gear. And wine.

There are also other drinking accessories out there like ice-substitutes, such as Ice Pak. Put these in d freezer and use them again and again. They contain a special gel that stays cold for a long time.

Handy item

Handy item, from Ice-Pak

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Dis ice-sub goes wit d Coleman six-pack box, as it fits snugly in between the cans

For the state-of-the-art, top-of-the-line, high-dollar daddy, there’s Coleman’s Xtreme Six-Wheel Cooler (below). This is supposed to keep ice for six days at 32C.

I’m impressed.

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All-terrain buster

Igloo has a similar one for $492.

There’s also Igloo’s Seat Top series, which doubles as a stool.

Comes with cup holder

Comes with cup holder

It’s $202 for the 5-gallon (19 liters) and $400 for d 10-gallon (38 liters).

On d related issue of containers, i stopped using punch bowls for punch a coupla years ago. They go too fast and i need to keep re-making thru d nite. During one of my birthdays i did it 9 times! Still werent enaf.

So after observing how sirap was dispensed at Hari Raya open houses, i bought this 12-liter mama from Tesco, and it solved d problem. I can pour 4 bottles of liquor into da mix, which means i dont need to make it as often.

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Festive special

I wuz also gifted a big-ass Starbucks ‘punch bowl’. Dis one has yet to see action.

Starbucks tryin to justify its existence

Starbucks tryin to justify its existence

But it will be easy. Dump in five bottles of liquor, add mixers, & suck thru a hose. And watch d fun.

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Drinking on-the-run, literally!

This gadget was made for sumtin else, but it’s perfect for drinkers who party on-the-run!

Rehydration packs (aka Camelbaks aka cycling bags) are supercool to store n dispense cocktails. It’s basically a slim pack u carry on your back that holds a detachable bladder. A straw leads from the bladder to your mouth, appearing right over your shoulder. How easy is dat??

Great for festivals and outdoor parties. Trekking and DJ-ing too.

Rehydration packs - created for drinkers, abused by cyclists

Rehydration packs - created for drinkers, abused by cyclists

The holy straw

The holy straw. Its gotta one-way valve dat u just bite n suck

Mine’s a Karrimor, but d bladder is a Camelbak, 3-liter. The packs ensure the drink stays cold. Another version (owned by housemate Henry) is also a Camelbak 3-liter, but the pack and straw have their own insulation. Cool stuff.

The bladder has a large cap, enabling u to load ice. Three-liter is the largest size bladder we could find, and ur able to empty an entire bottle of liquor, then add d mixer n ice. Guaranteed to get u fucked-up!

Its even been loaded with tuak before.

If u wanna see Henry's bladder, here it is. Big bladder, small weener

If u wanna see Henry's bladder, here it is. Big bladder, small weener

The bladder has a big mouth

Insert alcohol here

Have used it excessively at the Sarawak Rainforest World Music Fest. Also when we organized some outdoor gigs on d beach in Langkawi. When ur on decks, u cant go mix a drink – so just get the pack loaded, put it on, and party all nite!

Also useful when trekking upriver in KKB. Dont think i have ever actually used it for water tho. Anyway the water will have an alcohol / mixer taste, so fuggedaboutit. The bladder costs about $150-$200 and the backpack costs about $100+.

Bumped into some dude, Paulie, in Sarawak a few years ago who had a similar set-up. We immediately exchanged cocktails. Haha. We good buddies now. But he’s also M.I.A. now.

Paulie sampling my mix

Paulie sampling my mix. See how fucked-up i am?

When u gotta Camelbak, strangers wanna know u

When u gotta Camelbak... even strangers wanna know u ...

... chicks wanna get close to u ...

... chicks wanna get close to u ...

... your circle of friends will expand ...

... your circle of friends will expand ...

... and u'll have it on all d time

... u'll have it on everywhere u go ...

... and ur guaranteed an intoxicated, wild nite! Party on!   (Spot yourself if u were there)

... and ur guaranteed an intoxicated, wild nite! Party on! (Spot me / yourself if u were there)

Brain damage rating: 8/10

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