My biznez partner Susan sent me a link to this article in the Telegraph about bacon sandwiches being a hangover cure. BACON man. Awesome.
Susan is one of them what I call ‘Sympathizers’ to the cause, and to the rebellion (Hmm… What rebellion? Will think of sumtin soon.). She dont drink, but she helps others lose their livers, and dont mind hangin out with alcos n all. Handy, them Sympathizers. We all know at least one, right?
Unlike those who dont drink (or cant drink) n try to preach to u about how ur ruining yor life, bla bla bla. To whom I say “Kiss my golden-brown ass.”
Or is it more of a Baileys-brown?
Anyway, after thousands of years of suffering and wasted next-days, the human race has hopefully discovered the holy grail of drinking – a cure for the billions of Morning-After Blues that has tortured the species over millennia.
Shouldn’t they have sorted dis shit out way back when they invented alcohol? Daam. Slackers.
Them researchers (who’ve finally decided to research sumtin useful for once) in UK say concentrated doses of carbohydrates and protein after some “over indulgence” can speed up your metabolism and provide the amino acids needed to start feeling better. (English translation: Eat bacon!!)
Here’s what they say: “”Bingeing on alcohol depletes neurotransmitters, but bacon contains a high level of aminos which tops these up, giving you a clearer head.”
They better not be shittin me man. This is a serious issue.
There’s also an article on other cures, all bullshit mumbo-jumbo ones i assume. Like using voodoo dolls in Haiti, pickled sheep’s eye in bloody Mongolia, lemon in your fuckin armpit (Puerto Ricans).
Gosh, looks like no one on earth has figured it out. Amazing.
For me, only sleep works. If i open my eyes feelin like i’m still in Zouk, hit da sack again right away. But a bad hangover is a bad hangover. Just gotta ride it out.
Have tried hair of da dog. Fuckdatshit. Only got me more high and more moody.
So looks like me n d boyz have been doin it almost right. After a heavy night out,
we get busy frying some pork luncheon meat to stuff our faces with.
But dis bacon sandwich thing sounds good. Coz bacon rocks. (If u haven’t yet, u gotta try d bacon ba kwa. Fuh!)
Will organize a hangover and report d results. Volunteers r welcome.