Obama the Moonshiner

There’s sumtin fishy goin on in the White House. Some dodgy home-brewing seems to be goin on in the bunker or somewhere. In fact, this is the first time booze is being made at the White House.

Comon, drink up now. Looks like he’s sayin “yaaaaaaam…..

Obama’s got his kitchen crew workin overtime to produce some beer. Ales to be exact – a honey porter.

There are three types of beers produced there – The White House Honey Porter, Honey Ale and Honey Blonde.

His presidential campaign bus is stocked, the dawg. How nice. More details on the beer range here:

I think Obama is quite an alco himself – he’s been seen drinkin quite regularly, such as this Guinness session.

I’ve yet to try a honey ale. Since i have the necessary equipment, those honey bees nesting outside my pad might come in handy!


Spirits of the Harvest!

It’s Oooooohaa time, coz there’s an event this Saturday organized by Sarawakians in KL. It’s a tuak appreciation one. How damn cool.

I absolutely love drinking with Sarawakians. They know how to party. And are the best hosts I’ve ever met anywhere in the world.

I also spent four years of my pre-drinking life in Kuching.

Ngajat baby, ngajat!

I’m a judge in the Tuak of The Year competition. Haha! I have no idea how many entries there are, maybe dozens. So long as its not mixed with langkau like my 2009 music festival vacation in Sarawak, i should be fine.

A dude i met upriver

But then i’ve been well-trained many times in the deep depths of Borneo, esp during my travel-writing years. Had to ngirop servings of tuak as i walk through longhouses, one shot at each family’s door. Cool thing is they all taste different.

Tuak is a really nice drink by any standards. Personally i prefer the sweet variety, as well as ginger tuak, and of course, the aged ones. Goes down smooth n easy. The extra dry ones? A lil hard to drink.

Anyway, no need to go to Sarawak to try the various blends and vintages, coz it’s come here!

Kicks-off at 6.30pm at a joint called Seduction on P Ramlee, KL, behind the dodgy Beach Club. Go on time if u wanna have samples. No entry fee, unless you wanna enter the tuak of the year shit. Submissions are still possible until the event, right until 7pm on Saturday.

Gosh. I’m screwed.

There’s a blowpipe challenge in da mix. I shd try dat coz i got skills. Maybe less skills when sengeted.


Them rare and forgotten booze

Came across a piece in TIME mag titled Top 10 Long-Forgotten Liquors.

Watdefuck. What kind of society would forget their booze?

Turns out they aint completely forgotten, but gettin ignored or overtaken by ‘modern demands’.

Lemme know if u’ve tried any of ’em.

Heard of sorghum beer? This is a traditional high-protein beer of the South African blacks, but once the whites felt the black were ‘qualified’ to drink beer, sorghum became less popular. It’s a “sour, pink beer that keeps fermenting in the carton.” Sounds like a bomb.

Fire in da hole (Pix: Time)

Sorghum is a type of grass btw. Will def try it if am there.

There’s Stone-Age beer too… Traces of a ancient beer made of rice, honey & fruit have been found in China. Watdat, a Hoegaarden?

Anyway, they’ve started reproducing it now, courtesy of Dogfish (USA).

An old (3,800 years) Sumerian beer recipe was found, translated and…. reproduced in 1989! No reports on its taste tho. Maybe they all died.

Also on this hit list is pulque (ancient name: iztac octli), from Mexico. Time calls it the original tequila, tho its more like  a beer or toddy. The Aztecs were an ancient tribe that didnt predict 2012 & doom & gloom, unlike their ‘happening’ cousins, the Mayans, but the Aztecs are obviously laid back n not so calculative. So they cooler.

The Mayans were researching all sorts of goddam astrology, building fucking spaceships and getting concerned, while the Aztecs got high and screwed.

The hooch they created is from a plant called maguey, of the agave family. Gotta try.

Latest Aztec tech (Pix: Time)

It’s a white, milky shit, and is good for health. Well, like all booze then.

I got sumtin to add – samsu. Toddy too. Dat shit seems to be gettin rare in KL, tho i doubt it’ll ever disappear. Still an estate & kampung special.

I got sum leftover cough syrup – will try this sometime – one shot of cough mixture /codeine, add one shot of samsu, topped with Coke, n lotsa chunky ice. A squeeze of lime perhaps?

Damn, it’s starting to sound tasty. What shall i call it tho? Coca Codeine?


Yeast, ur da shit!

Yea, yeast is my new best friend. Coz i just gotta let them do what they do best, and before i know it, i got free booze!

My apple cider experiment has worked out. And its gooood.



These little fuckers just need sugar. They consume whatever sugary liquid u feed em, and they fart CO2 & piss out alcohol. How cool is dat?

Yeast piss. Yummy.

And just as a bonus, yeast are also a source of B-complex vitamins and protein.

Easily the most important & productive micro-organism on earth

Easily the most important & productive micro-organism on earth

All i gotta do is pound, and dump these organisms into apple juice, then chill for a couple of weeks. In d meantime, the yeast dudes are working 24-7, multiplying & producing alcohol all d time, billions of them, for free. I dont even have to give them a salary. Its slavery!

A German chemist wrote back in the day about yeast: “These are endowed with a sort of suction trunk with which they gulp up sugar. Digestion is immediate and clearly recognizable because of the discharge of excrements.”

He rambles on: “These animals evacuate ethyl alcohol from their bowels and carbon dioxide from their urinary organs. Thus, one can observe how a specially lighter fluid is exuded from the anus and rises vertically whereas a stream of carbon dioxide is ejected at very short intervals from enormously long genitals.” Haha! Big-dick boys.

One drop of fermenting juice can contain five million yeast cells capable of doubling their number every two hours.

The thing about these guys is they end up drinkin themselves to death. Wine yeast can survive up to 14-18% alcohol in d mix before dying of alco-poisoning, but beer yeast will probably die around 6%. Anyway, there are more than a thousand yeast species around, depending on what u wanna brew.

I made 12 liters of apple cider using about 30 cents worth of yeast. So my cost for producing all these booze is basically the same as the cost of apple juice. Amazing.

Then u realize that alcohol is actually fuckin cheap.

I waited 18 days before deciding dat it was strong n tasted good. Dats when u start bottling. After 2 weeks, i did a taste-test every day. When u feel it’s just right – good balance between sweet & sour & alcohol, its ready. I was bottling them when i was drunk, so no pictures of this happy process.

I was planning to make sidra (apple cider), but since i used wine yeast rather than brewer / beer yeast, i got apple champagne. Haha! To get the fizz, just add a teaspoon of sugar into each bottle then seal the cap. It shd be fizzy within a couple of days.

Bubbly apple wine

Bubbly apple wine

My brew is fucking strong. A couple of sips this morning n i was buzzing. Gonna get a hydrometer to check the % of alcohol.

Obviously the brew has only 100% natural ingredients.

Will post a step-by-step soon on the DIY apple wine. At the mo, sugar cane wine is brewing.

Yeast, u da man! Salud!

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