My new dog

After ma man Homey died last year, I was not keen on taking care of another dog. Need some time off and shit. 13 years was the longest duration that i had a dog by my side.

Anyway, i recently met this fella, who looks a lot like Homey. It belongs to someone who lives a few streets away, but he likes hanging out at my area. I assume he’s one of Homey’s kids.

He's the one in white

He’s the one in white


See the resemblance?

So i decided, fuck it, I’ll take it. This was 3 weeks ago.

After a few days, his humans stopped looking for him, so its all good now. Not very committed, are they? Pricks.

I figured since he’s Homey’s kid, I have a right to him. Also, it helps sooth the pain of losing Homey.


His name is Monkey. He’s a pretty cute fella eh?




Update:  This was an April Fool’s joke. Am no dog thief!



A dog that had me as his caretaker, died last month. Homey (aka Homes, aka Homer, aka Homeboi) came out of nowhere barking at me one morning a long time ago. And we been hanging out since.

He’s been with me through the best years of my life.


He was with me for 13 years, from the time he was a gangsta stray pup. No pix of his puppy days tho, but he was definitely the cutest around. Hence, his many girlfriends (human n dog). He was shagging human legs from age 3 months, and bitches at age 6 months. Am pretty sure he won one of the year’s MVP.

Homeboi was obedient, playful, loving, and fierce against unwelcome people. He was the Chief of Security at our pad. We could leave the front door unlocked without worry. He was always alert.

He also pissed on dogs that he didnt like, usually on the face.

Friends who were afraid of dogs have gotten over this phobia, thanks to Homey.

His birthday parties? Legendary. I still bump into random people who say they been to my place, for his birthday. Haha

Homey died of bone marrow cancer / leukemia, and it appeared suddenly. Doc mentioned chemotherapy. I said sorait. Let it be.


Otw to KKB

Thankfully he didn’t suffer much. The doc gave him a few weeks or a month tops; he hungout for two months, and ate mostly ham in that time. Nice. He was also allowed into the house.

Otw to Janda Baik

Otw to Janda Baik

Otherwise, he was a fit n healthy guy, and could have lived to 18 or more. I was kinda hoping he could meet my future family assuming i have one, but sallgood! Haha. In a way its good that he died healthy rather than when his bones were creaking n shit. I always wondered how we would die. I think he had a decent death.

And it was great when my close friends showed up when they found out. They helped me bury him. There were even flowers. And they hungout after that to drink n party.

Joyce showed up out of the blue, and also wrote a tribute.

King of these streets

King of these streets

I also am thankful for my housemates, who had to takeover the task of giving him his daily steroid injections when i was travelling.

P1000573 - Copy - Copy

In Chilling River

Homey - seen it all

Homey – seen it all

The boys did a blues tune about him some time ago, which was recorded spontaneously in my hall one Sunday afternoon in 2012, in one take. You can even hear Homey bark in the background.

There’s even a music video for it! Homey smiles at the end.

And here’s one of him during shower time. He’d bitch if the water was too chilly.

Well, he had a good run, travelling n shit. But i never got his licensing sorted out. Haha. In fact a coupla years ago i permanently removed his collar. He was nude 24-7.

I wanted to allow him to become a dog. I also gave him more real food and tried to avoid the usual factory-produced dog food, which is probably dog meat. Maybe dat shit causes cancer, who knows.

He’s had it all. Bryani, roti canai, char kueh teow, cakes, desserts, ice-creams, booze, lok-lok (regular), and even magic mushrooms – no thanks to a friend of mine. I was pretty pissed about it. Homes was tripping for 3 days!

Funny, on hindsight.

But i took him out nightly, so he worked those calories off. I remember doin a calculation – i’ve walked 2,000km + with him.

Kinda miss the night walks.

I also went alone with him once to KKB. We did a trek all the way to Chilling falls. That was the first time he had seen a forest, and a body of water, and his first swim. Across rivers. I was forced to teach swimming the quick way – throwing him into the river. Didnt do too well.

His battery was 3% by the time we got back, coz we had to ‘jog’ out due to failing light.

2013-09-13 10.29.44

Waiting at the border for his morning cream crackers

Am sure i’ll open my house to another stray, someday. (I don’t buy pets)

He was the closest dog i’ve been with, and there’ve been many over the years. I’ll remember Homes till the day i join him.


One brother’s down, for good. Fortunately i have nine more around me. You know who you boys are.

Good lookin out ma man, and am sure you still lookin out for me.

Catch u soon boy.




Sexytime for dogs. Awesome

I recently wrote an article for an online mag about a dog-banging service, ie, a dog whorehouse. Now my dawg Homey gets free lays every month. Every male-dog owner shd look into this. Checkitout.


Doggone! If dogs could talk, they’d be having an intense sociological discourse on the introduction of a new service, catering to the male of the species: recreational mating.

Bob Lee, or better known in the pet peddling industry as Uncle Bulldawg, is providing female dogs for fun ‘breeding’. Owners of un-neutered male dogs can bring them over and leave them at the centre, Dog E Style, for a mating session with one of the many ‘ladies’ available.

Homey flat after a fulfilling session at Dawg E

“I had customers asking me if I knew anyone who could help their male dogs get some action. Eventually I decided to start this service full-time.” Bulldawg, 45, ran a pet shop and exotic pets import dealings for many years before deciding to go into the recreational mating business.

He has since closed his pet shop when Dog E Style opened a month ago. However, as he has yet to receive his business license, the operation is low key and by word-of-mouth for now. He also refused photographs.

The top ‘hostess’ at the moment is Hottie, a two-year-old Dalmatian. “She’s great. And sexy. Many people request for her. But we don’t overwork Hottie. In fact we have a vet coming in annually to check on our stable,” he says.

The females that are in heat are regularly shagged at his outlet in PJ’s Kota Damansara neighbourhood, while the rest are kept at his ‘farm’. “It’s in Sepang,” he says, a little evasive about the exact location.

Prices for the service vary depending on the breed of the animal. Hottie’s rates are currently RM60 an hour, while the more ‘street’ variety’s fees are RM25 an hour.

“All our dogs are disease-free and sociable. They’ve been trained to entertain the males.” Others seen there were Cocker Spaniels, Retrievers and a Poodle.

However, if your pet does not get it on with Dog E Style’s bitch, you don’t have to pay. “You only pay for a confirmed score. But most times, there’s no problem. The females don’t get pregnant as we feed them a pill that prevents fertilization,” explains Bulldawg.

Several dog owners had positive reactions. A 30-year-old client who declined to be identified says he will send his mutt there monthly. “I lost two male dogs over the years when they ran out. The reason they escape is to mate, but something happened to them and they never returned – maybe they were run over or kidnapped. Now my dog is happy and doesn’t attempt to escape.”

“It’s great,” says Ryan Fernandez, a 32-year-old short-films producer. “My dog used to get really frustrated if he hadn’t mated for a while. I don’t want to neuter him, as genital mutilation is cruel and unethical. I don’t want him doing it with strays, as they’re diseased and also they would be creating unwanted puppies. With Dog E Style, my problem is finally overcome.”

“I would use the service,” reveals Jo Lim, a 25-year-old food & beverage executive. “I had a male dog called Furry who died a virgin, and I still feel guilty about it! He was nine.” She says as a caring pet owner, she would utilize the service once every two months. A pet shop owners admits that there have been requests by owners of male dogs for such services.

Currently, Uncle B has regular clientele thanks to security firms that send mostly Alsatians and Rottweilers there. He explains: “Male guard dogs are better when they’re not neutered. But they can get frustrated and a little aggressive if they’re sexually-deprived.”

Some might feel what the cool Bulldawg is doing is not right. “Why not? It’s a service that’s badly needed!” he exclaims. “It could reduce the number of strays that get pregnant. In fact, there are people who pair pedigree dogs to get the female pregnant. They then sell off their dog’s babies just to make money. Isn’t that worse?!”

However, animal-protection society Animal Welfare opposes Dog E Style. “It’s ridiculous. How can society allow this?” asks spokesperson Ann Raj.

Well, the thing is, there’s no law against this. It’s legit.

“Female dogs aren’t receptive to mating all the time. Is he drugging them to make them submissive??” She plans to send a representative to check on the animals.

In response, big pimp Bulldawg claims he’s willing to work with animal shelters like Animal Welfare and SPCA. “They have too many dogs there. If they want, I could borrow some females for my services. For every ‘customer’ they entertain, I’m willing to give SPCA a cut – RM5.”

That sure seems like a good deal.

Mac daddy concedes that there might be initial resistance to this radical idea. “At the end of the day, at least the idle dogs are utilized instead of being put to sleep, and get to socialize with other dogs at my farm instead of being kept in the pound’s cages. And the shelter is guaranteed some monthly income.” He’s willing to take care of all related bills of the borrowed canines.

The Malaysian Dog Owners Association reserved its comments until it knows more about the service. “We will also pass this information to our members and gauge their reaction,” says a spokesperson.

He then adds “This is quite astonishing.”

The premise has an owner’s waiting area with a TV and free drinks, as well as a games room with a Playstation. If you’d like to check on your dog to ensure he scores, a monitor is available in the office. The action rooms are simple, small rooms with little lighting.

When ‘off-duty’, most Dog E Style dogs are allowed to roam the premises. There are also massage and grooming services (for the dogs that is).

Bulldawg is cool about some heat that he gets. “I’m a dog lover myself. My conscience is clear because I know the dogs are happy, and I take great care of them.”

Dog E Style is considering house calls. “Once we’re less busy we might send females for ‘overnighters’ as well.”

Great job, Uncle B!


Note: Until May 1st, Dog E Style has a promotion: A 15-minute massage will be thrown in for each customer (canine). Further info e-mail:




Homey inside

Dawg Homes has been ‘hospitalized’. Dude was not eating n kinda lifeless for a coupla days, gums n skin practically white, so took him to d doc.
Doc does a blood test n says he got sum auto-immune disease or sumtin. His body is eating up its own red blood cells. Its down to 13%.

Dont sound good. Tick fever i hear.

He’s hasnt eaten for days and is on drips now. Doc says if it gets worse, might have to do a blood transfusion.

I had to stop myself from laughing when i heard dat. Fuckin transfusion man! Didnt know they have such shit for dogs.

So dogs actually go donate blood n shit??

Homeboy’s gotta fuckin lampshade around his neck, so he dont yank out the IV line from his paw.

Not happy!

Anyway, he’s been stuck inside for d third day now. Hopefully he’s out soon.

All i know is its gonna cost a bomb!

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