Yeast, ur da shit!

Yea, yeast is my new best friend. Coz i just gotta let them do what they do best, and before i know it, i got free booze!

My apple cider experiment has worked out. And its gooood.



These little fuckers just need sugar. They consume whatever sugary liquid u feed em, and they fart CO2 & piss out alcohol. How cool is dat?

Yeast piss. Yummy.

And just as a bonus, yeast are also a source of B-complex vitamins and protein.

Easily the most important & productive micro-organism on earth

Easily the most important & productive micro-organism on earth

All i gotta do is pound, and dump these organisms into apple juice, then chill for a couple of weeks. In d meantime, the yeast dudes are working 24-7, multiplying & producing alcohol all d time, billions of them, for free. I dont even have to give them a salary. Its slavery!

A German chemist wrote back in the day about yeast: “These are endowed with a sort of suction trunk with which they gulp up sugar. Digestion is immediate and clearly recognizable because of the discharge of excrements.”

He rambles on: “These animals evacuate ethyl alcohol from their bowels and carbon dioxide from their urinary organs. Thus, one can observe how a specially lighter fluid is exuded from the anus and rises vertically whereas a stream of carbon dioxide is ejected at very short intervals from enormously long genitals.” Haha! Big-dick boys.

One drop of fermenting juice can contain five million yeast cells capable of doubling their number every two hours.

The thing about these guys is they end up drinkin themselves to death. Wine yeast can survive up to 14-18% alcohol in d mix before dying of alco-poisoning, but beer yeast will probably die around 6%. Anyway, there are more than a thousand yeast species around, depending on what u wanna brew.

I made 12 liters of apple cider using about 30 cents worth of yeast. So my cost for producing all these booze is basically the same as the cost of apple juice. Amazing.

Then u realize that alcohol is actually fuckin cheap.

I waited 18 days before deciding dat it was strong n tasted good. Dats when u start bottling. After 2 weeks, i did a taste-test every day. When u feel it’s just right – good balance between sweet & sour & alcohol, its ready. I was bottling them when i was drunk, so no pictures of this happy process.

I was planning to make sidra (apple cider), but since i used wine yeast rather than brewer / beer yeast, i got apple champagne. Haha! To get the fizz, just add a teaspoon of sugar into each bottle then seal the cap. It shd be fizzy within a couple of days.

Bubbly apple wine

Bubbly apple wine

My brew is fucking strong. A couple of sips this morning n i was buzzing. Gonna get a hydrometer to check the % of alcohol.

Obviously the brew has only 100% natural ingredients.

Will post a step-by-step soon on the DIY apple wine. At the mo, sugar cane wine is brewing.

Yeast, u da man! Salud!


RIP, Train

One of the top ghetto wines known to mankind, Night Train Express, is most likely no longer available in Malaysia.

Yo I aint happy.

D locomotive from hell has pulled into d station for d final time

D locomotive from hell has pulled into d station for d final time!

Dis shit was my FIRST love, when i first started on the booze journey in college. The Train is what got me into serious drinkin man. Used to do it with dudes like Ham, Scarface, Presidente, Volume, Fat Bala, Voyeur. We got a history, d Train n me boys.

We had this move – where two of our cars on d way to someplace would decide to travel alongside each other n pass d Train from one car to d next. Quite a delicate skill. Requires finesse, and alcohol in yor veins. And clear road ahead of u.

The other car would ride the Train then pass it back when they’re ready. Amazingly, there has never been contact between the vehicles.

Yea, we were a bunch of fucking cowboys.

If not for d Train, my retarded blog wdnt exist. Haha

Been lookin for it for ol times sake recently. I tried d most likely haunts – Joy, Sri Kota, TMC, supermarkets and Chinese-medicine joints. Failed. Two of ’em said d Train is no longer being imported.

But whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!

The world has lost some of its cool.

It’s been good buddy. See u on d other side!


Apple juice + yeast = high

The Independence weekend was a haze. Saturday was high from 1pm to 1am, Sunday repeat. Brunch was booze. Niiice.

Awoke on Saturday and headed to Bangsar for Sarawak laksa, but suddenly remembered a friends BBQ lunch party, so detoured n got wasted there. Had white wine, Green Label and roast lamb. Then headed home to try and brew some apple cider. Doin the make-your-own-booze shit.

Thing is the elite brewing team of four got well-wasted at my pad for the ‘pre-party’ for the brewing process. We then left the house about 4pm to shop for d ingredients, by then quite zapped. Cool thing is a Jaya Grocer has just opened close by. And it stocks booze. All varieties.

While we screwed around at the fruit juice aisle in the supermarket, my buddy Shai suddenly says “What are we doing here again?”.

We look at each other n laugh. Then dude goes “Where am i??”. Haha. Blur.

Supermarkets can be scary places for lost little boys

Supermarkets can be scary places for some high, lost boys

We eventually scored the ‘right’ apple juice after a phone call from Shai to a ‘consultant’.

As usual, the team got side-tracked
As usual, the team got side-tracked by the booze section

Topped up with more beers. Lately its easy to get these ultra-strength imported beers from 8% to… 12.2%! Dats like fuckin wine!

Cost like $4.50 to $7. And they all half-litre cans! Beautiful. Will test all and report.

Then we made a push to Centerpoint to nail some yeast and a rubber tube.

The drunks end up at a hardware store

The drunks end up at a hardware store

... then a Chinese medicine joint

... then a Chinese medicine joint for yeast

We actually manage to get all we need pretty quick, and head to the secret brewing location and get the apple cider on its way. Hopefully a month from now, i’ll be gettin high on my own supply!

If it works, will advise on how to go about it. And will also move on to fruit wines.

The shit after adding yeast

The shit after adding yeast, my new favourite pet. Get to work u fuckers!

The barrel of future cider. Or fuckin vinegar

Dependin on my luck, the barrel of future cider. Or fuckin vinegar

Supporting actors

Supporting actors

There’re lots of material online on makin your own brew. U got any questions i can attempt to answer them.

Get busy yall.


Brain damage rating: TBC


Aint a cheap shot

Wat’s d most amount of money you paid for a single shot of booze in your life?? I cant recall actually, but pretty sure it’s below 50 bucks.

Checkdisout – the world’s oldest cognac is now at a hotel outlet in London (Library Bar). How much do u think a shot would cost? 500 bucks?? Two grand?

To be exact, US$6k! Dats 21,000 bucks. Fuckin hell..

21k for a 50ml shot. Dats what… $4,000 per sip? I think even d goddam fumes will cost a few hundred bucks!

Strictly for fat cats. It’s a bottle from way back in 1770.

I definitely know the LEAST i ever paid for a shot.

Definition of cheap shit

The definition of cheap shit

Toddy. About 20 cents a shot.

For a shot of dat cognac, u  would get 7,000 bottles of 1,500ml toddy. Haha. Or 105,000 servings.

At three bottles a day, u could remain drunk for about 6.4 years.


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