Homey da house dog has quit drinking. Dumbass. Not like he has to drive, or get pregnant or anything.
If you’re gonna put on weight you dawg, better the booze do it rather than food man. At least booze gets u high.
I recall him downing cocktails, beer and get this – my old man’s 15-year-old Grants Scotch Whisky – on da rocks. Now he turns his head away from the stuff. Wastage or wat?
Maybe he’s become religious. Or maybe he’s found something better, like fermenting his own piss in the lawn somewhere.
Mmmmm. Fer – men – ted – piss….
Gimme some of dat boy!
Either way, the socially anti-social dawg still gets a major house party every year. That’s eight bashes so far; KFC, gifts n all. And I felt pissed once when more people turned up for his goddam birthday party than mine. Apa ni?! Ridiculous. Need to reduce his popularity.
In case u think he’s such a “cutieeee!” n all dat crap, the lil’ fucker has murdered several innocent birds and squirrels, while stone-cold sober. (I think u just lost 20% of your fan base Homes.).
He hopes to kill a cat soon. (Just gained back another 40% fans.)
Anyway, Homey’s latest birthday party (titled Homey Play Dat, Again) went well. This time he didn’t hump any chicks. But neither did I. Crowd count was about 20.
Normally more chicks than guys of course, coz Homey’s like dat. *Player!* Not this time tho. Too bad.
Alcohol highlight for the night was Smirnoff Watermelon. Not a huge fan of flavoured vodkas cos u can’t be as creative when cocktailing, but this tembikai shit is an awesome drink! Just add 7-Up. And loads of ice to kill some of the sweetness. The other great flavoured Smirnoff is Green Apple. That was popular at our last house party a few weeks back (Housemate Henry’s birthday bash.). Also requires lotsa ice.
[Speaking of ice, dont it suck when parties run out of ice?? Jeez, just buy 10 dam bags next time. Ice is CHEAP. As I always say, “You can never have too much ice!’ And of course a large ice box is a standard requirement for drinkers.]
There was also tuak which we bought from Sarawak over the last couple of years, Vintage 2007 and 2008. Great stuff. Chicks luved it. [BTW will post soon about a friend of mine who brews da shit at her home. And supplies me. Nice.]
Tropical fruits really mix well with liquor. Would love to brew a rambutan wine. Next project.
BTW except for his housemates, Homes only adds chicks on Facebook, so piss off guys.
Brain damage rating: 7/10
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