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The best AND worst spot for a Guinness…

July 27th, 2009 · 51 Comments · ~ Alcophobia ~, ~ Bars / Clubs / Restaurants ~, ~ Beer (lager / ale / stout) ~, ~ Funny-ass shit/incidents ~

… has to be Chili’s. They serve the best Guinness, but the policies are dumb, n d managers are possibly escaped chimpanzees.

I know many people who’ve had arguments with the managers at all Chili’s outlets – usually over stupid shit. Me included. Will get to that later.

Yea!

Yea!

Anyway, the Guinness here is good. It’s d creamiest n by far the coldest u’ll find, as they’re served in thick-glass, frozen mugs. Most outlets, including Sid’s, dont freeze or even chill their glasses, and d Guinness is not cold enough. As soon as it’s poured into the warm glass, the drink starts to lose its taste. But Chili’s is only worth visiting during happy hours, which is 3pm to 7pm. It ends way too early.

As good as ice-cold root beer!

As good as ice-cold root beer!


Incident One

Went to d Bangsar outlet with a friend n sit at d bar. I ask d waitress for d drinks list. We feel like vodka orange. Then i ask her, “Is it still happy hours for liquor?” She says yes. I say “OK then, gimme two screwdrivers.” I’m obviously referring to the happy hour drinks.

The drinks come. We order two more, then ask for d bill. Instead of billing us about $25, it’s around $80. I ask the bartender “What’s this?” He says “U ordered screwdrivers – no happy hours for that”. We argue.

Eventually a dumb manager appears. Instead of solving the problem, he makes it worse. With a sour face, he says “Vodka orange and screwdrivers are different.” (Yea, only on your moron planet. Dats like saying milo-ais and milo-peng are different drinks, with different prices.) “Here a screwdriver is a premium cocktail, so we use premium vodka. (By premium, he meant Absolut. Haha. In other words, its probably shit vodka from Klang otherwise.) No happy hour prices. You have to say vodka orange.”

Right.

So is it my fault your waitress is a dummy dat u pay 50 cents an hour? It aint my problem if Chilis are d only ones in d world that thinks vodka orange and screwdrivers are different drinks.

In-bred freak insists it’s not d waitress’ fault, but mine. I refuse to pay.

A gorilla shows up and stands next to d manager. Probably the BSC valet niga, part-timing as a gorilla. What, u wanna beat me up over this?? Pathetic.

My friend said a few words but she mostly observed, although she wanted to slap d manager. We tell them they’re talkin shit and  ignore them.

So we continue to sip our drinks with these two goons there standing next to us and staring at us. Haha!

Then when we’re done, i say, “We’re leaving. U either take what i pay u, or we gonna leave and ur not getting a goddam cent.”

Manager continues to stare. Look like he’s gonna cry. Eventually d real bill appears. I throw d cash n we leave.

FYI – a customer refusing to pay a bill for food/drinks or services rendered is not committing an offence. The police cant do shit. It’s a private contract between u and d outlet. If the management wants to recover d money, they will have to sue you in court. How dahell they gonna do dat when they have no idea who u are? So screw them over if even try to screw u.

O yea – another time a mug of Guinness dat my friend was drinking (same outlet) suddenly cracks and da shit spills all over her pants. D waiter says, “Sorry, will replace dat. It happens sometimes.” U spill drink all over my friend and u just gonna replace that drink? How kedekut. The least they could have offered was one complimentary Guinness for her or a meal.

(Breakage can happen when there’s some water in d mug before they freeze it.)

.

Incident Two

I was at the KLCC outlet once with a couple of chicks. We wanted to have a proper tequila session. I ask for a bottle of Jose Cuervo.

Waiter pauses, then says, “I’m sorry sir, I cant serve you a whole bottle.”

I ask why. “Just give us the bottle man. We’ll finish it tonite. We’ll be doin shots.”

” I cant sir. We cant charge by bottle.”

– “Why not man? How many shots in the bottle? 25? U can charge us by shots but bring d bottle. Watsup?”

“I’m sorry sir, this is a family restaurant!”

Ooo. I didnt realize i was in KFC man! Family restaurant my ass! Why dahell is there a full-bar in d outlet? For little children to get smashed?

So i say, “What?! U kiddin me man??”

“No sir. We cant serve u a bottle.”

They wanna be a family restaurant and think that me n two little girls might get tipsy n trash d joint, okay, thats fine.

So i say  “Nevermind, we’d like 3 tequila shots each to start.”

He says, “I’m sorry sir, i cant serve all at the same time. U have to finish your drink, then order again.

How inefficient is dat??

So i say, “It’s a goddam shot. We’re doin shots – as soon as it arrives, it’s gone. Then we gotta wait 10 minutes for d next one?”

Bla bla fuckin bla. He finally surrenders and serves us what we want.

They have this stupid rule that u cant order your next drink if u still have some drink left! Haha! Morons.

It's shady characters like these that give customers a bad name

It’s shady Chili’s customers like these that cause trouble

.

Incident Three

A bunch of friends had gone to Chili’s for happy hours. There were too many of them, n d bar area was really congested, and people couldnt really move, staff included. So my friend asks d waiter to open a “Section Closed” area for them. He says “Sorry, only at 6pm.” This was at 5.45pm!

Eventually manager comes. Chimp refuses to open the area, although an exception to the rule was obviously needed. They argue. And keep arguing quite fiercely. By now it’s five minutes to 6pm. He refuses to budge. Dick.

So they leave and spend their money elsewhere.

.

Incident Four

My housemate Khang joins his co-workers at Chili’s Megamall just as happy hours ends. His Guinness is waiting at the table, pre-ordered. He asks d waiter as his bill comes if the Guinness is at happy hour price. Waiter says no. Disappointed, Khang says “fuck”, and promptly pays d bill.

A few minutes later the floor captain shows up. He tells Khang, “U have to apologize to my staff. U swore at him.”

Khang explained that he was not swearing at anyone, just to himself for being late. Stupid captain insists that Khang apologize. Khang gets pissed, so his friend steps in to slow-talk. No use.

So they ask for d manager. Some foreign white dude shows up. He hears the story. Then says “You have to apologize to my staff.”

Khang’s friend also gets pissed! Haha! Then he says they dont want customers like them around!

What kind of staff would go n cry to his boss when a customer swears??

Obviously, though they were regulars, they swore never to go back there. Same deal with me n the hopeless Bangsar outlet.

There were also banned from d outlet!

.

If u know anyplace dat has good Guinness in frozen mugs, inform me ASAP.

If they continue like dis, i foresee a nice, good fight breaking out in their outlet soon – managers vs customers. My money is on customers.

The managers are extremely confrontational and petty. I think they need some serious education about the F&B culture in Malaysia.

But I really dont know watsup with them. Anal and stupid is an understatement. I suspect they could be robots. With no manual over-ride.

Hence when a situation occurs that is not in their hard disk, they freak. “Overload!!! Overload!!!……. Must kill customer!” Coz programmers forgot to include common-sense and discretion.

American Chilis – “Where the customer is always wrong.”

God knows what the franchiser in US is doing about all this. They gettin a real bad rep.

The company needs to get all their staff laid. I think there’s some in-breeding goin on.

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51 Comments so far ↓

  • Kelvin

    bro…. try canteena at bangsar…. the guiness stout there is good as well. served from the draught into a pint glass. i don know whether the promo is still there but wen i used to go there a few years back, it was like buy 2 pints and the 3rd one is free….. and the food there is good tooo

  • Liz

    Agreed that the Guinness is great, and TOTALLY agree on the idiotic staff… I’ve had a few ‘incidences’ there myself….
    Upon 1 occasion I requested for the bench seats for 4 persons in the smoking area, due to obviously my friends were smokers.. these dumb asses said, it’s free seating in the smoking area, 1st come 1st served, u have to sendiri go n ‘book’ your seat… loosely translated, i feel the f**ker is just to LAZY to find me a seat….
    Then i tell the guy, i’ll sit here in the waiting area, u go find me a seat… then he tried to tell me, i had to go do it myself…i told him look, i don’t care how long it takes, u go find me a seat, then i promptly sat down n waited la… less then 5 mins later the dude comes back and said got table for me in the smoking area…
    like hello!! how hard was dat?
    They’ve got THE dodgiest service known to M’sians….
    And mind u that’s just 1 incident at the Mid-Valley outlet…

    But seriously, u do they have such good beers? Y god y??

  • suanie

    haha we kena the screwdriver vs vodka orange at the bangsar outlet also! many years ago though.

  • ShaolinTiger

    Had exactly the same screwdriver/vodka orange thing before.

    Manager acted exactly the same the fucking idiot, it was at BSC branch.

    I stopped going since they changed their happy hour to 3-7pm.

    4-9pm used to be awesome!

  • Deep

    Wow. Looks like Chilis has a real fucked-up rep when it comes to customer service. Like i said, i doubt any humans work there.
    Thanks Kelvin. Canteena’s pretty good

  • Dzain

    Managers at Chillis really suck…BIG TIME!!

    Many incidents there…when I was working at the wine shop at BSC. Stupid staff..

  • Aiwee

    If i get you a proper channel to write in complaints to the higher management, will you do it?

    If Bangsar outlet has the same manager since those days, yes, he is such a pain in the ass.

  • Deep

    No i wont Aiwee. Why should i help them improve their business? I’d rather go there, drink, and if they ask for it, give them shit. More fun. Next time i wont be so nice.
    At d most, will refer them to this post n d comments.
    Anyway, from the looks of it, the upper management knows wats goin on n are the ones responsible for all their stupid policies.

  • les

    uh huh.. i hear you man.. and we’ve had the same sh*te treatment, un-freakin’-believable (just ask pee, the boy’s got stories to tell) – even the one at mid vals..
    minus the unfortunate ‘chick-less’ surroundin’s, i’ll take canteena anyday..

  • MarC

    Yo dude, enjoy reading your blog, excellent work!

    Try Jarrod and Rawlins @ Amwalk, jalan ampang. They serve great Guinness! and Sausages, bacons, grill pork.. Aahhhh~~

  • justine

    once the mid valley outlet refused to refill our “bottomless” chips. uhuh. we’re drinking like mad (whole damned agency was there) but they won’t give us a few measly chips?

    wtf.

  • Deep

    I think wats goin on is that they prefer if families dine there, so they try to find excuses to fight with drinkers n piss them off so they wont return.
    Tx for d tip Marc.

  • eyeris

    I’d take good service and proper happy hours over a single pint of perfect Guinness. Less aggravation means you enjoy a less than perfect pint a lot more. haha

  • Khabs

    Deep

    You are right. They intentionally give shit to some customers to protect their demographics. The head honchos in Malaysia have the blessing of the franchise owners. That’s how they do it there, and that’s how they do it here. Except here we got some bodoh Malaysians who end up protecting their demographics AND giving the place a bad name at the same time!

    So I fully support not writing in through the proper channels. But I don’t support boycotting the Bangsar outlet. You should keep going back and keep twisting their nuerons till they fuckin ban you. Now that, would be a privilege and an honour. Banned cos they just can’t handle you and your common sense.

    If you’re feeling like fucking with them one day, let me know. I’ll join you. Teach those motherfuckers a thing or two about consumer power.

    And if they fuck up while we’re fucking with them and infringe our natural rights, we’ll fucking sue them and make some money!

    Fuckin chillis…

    P.S. I religiously follow your blog, which is the best blog on earth!

  • saupin

    Chillis really serves the best Guinness in town? I gonna try it next time…still tot of Sid’s served the best for now~~~

  • Deep

    Haha! Tx Khabs.
    OK, we’ll keep goin till they ban us for some cockamanie reason.

  • Ovidia

    Wahh…Someone got fans already! I vaguely remember the first time you brought me to Chili’s and introduced me to the almost perfect Stout. How the first sip made u winced like ur hurting with pleasure. haha. But those bastards like to ask for my IDs. Fucker, there is one time i had to watch my friend drink coz i forgot my id. Mofo!

  • kennysia

    I still reckon the best-tasting Guinness is at Delaney’s in Federal Hotel.

    It’s got no vibe, no frozen mugs, but damn the bartender knows how to pour!

  • shelbybaby

    OMG laughter oh laughter!

  • drbaldev

    Bro, check out Fitou in Desa Park City. Not only is the Guiness excellent, on Mondays they have a promo: you walk up to the bar, order your perfect pint; then toss a coin. If you win,(playing with the bartender) you pay RM One only for your drink. Otherwise pay the normal happy hour price. Hows that for a deal

  • Deep

    Thanks Doc! And Kenny. Must check out. Any good Irish food there?
    Is there a map to Fitou?

  • saupin

    hmmm…Delaney’s Federal Hotel…i’ll keep it in my list…heading there in this few weeks , maybe… :D

    goddamn… im in love wif Guinness :P

  • drbaldev

    Hi deepscocktales,

    Fitou is in Desa Park City. If you’re on the LDP heading toward Kepong; after the toll keep in the middle lane( do not take the ramp to kepong) pass the Caltex station on your left and make a u-turn before the traffic lights. You’ll see the entrance to Desa Park on your left. Drive toward the waterfront and you’ll see Fitou on the left as you enter. Besides the lovely guiness which they serve in chilled glasses, the ambience is great. The view from the deck is quite nice too.

  • prashant

    the place serves the best drinks but mofos who work there are something else. sad some menurut perintah from asswipes who cannot think. the best claim is “you cannot line up ya drinks”!!!!!!

    time for a better joint

  • Deep

    Great! Thanks Doc. Will definitely check out Fitou.

  • mirebella

    now – dont go shooting the msger but i used to manage the bsc chilis outlet waaay back (its been a good 6 yrs since i left) but i do still frequent the various outlets when i head back to kl.

    your jots are funny, but unfortunate really.

    1) The screwdriver thing is unfortunate – but its like ordering a gimlet when youre simply asking for a vodka lime – next time keep it simple and the wait staff wont get confused. The reason being when they key in the order – the vodka + mixer is actually a lot cheaper than a preset cocktail key in order – hence the double price. Admitingly, the manager could have handled it better.

    2) The no-bottle sale is a Govt ruling because Chilis is licenced and if caught, they will loose the licence. Same reason – you wont see bottle sales at TGI Fridays – same thing. The no parking of drinks should only apply if you wanted to keep the drink at the bar instead of being served all at the same time so i figure your server didnt know what he was doing :p

    3) Its because the server who was looking after the closed section was going to start their shift at 6 pm. At most American based restaurants (HRC, TGI etc), servers work in sections and orders can only be keyed in under the section server. Tips are also kept by the server working the section hence it gets quite terratorial. Which is worse – being seated but no one serving you for 15 mins or coming back in 15 mins and being seated?

    4) Ah – this was a stupid one. The gweilo – big guy, blonde? He would have been the GM. Not explaining this one – blame is on the server who was being too “sensitive”.

    Hope your hunt for the perfect Guiness is successful! :)

  • Mad Max

    K…tried out the Spaghetti Grill, next to the Chillis outlet at Megamall. Currently they are running a happy hour all day promo (1 pint is RM9.95; works out to around RM 12.00 after tax).
    This franchise is actually under the American Chilli’s franchise, so I thought I give it a try and ask for the same thing as mentioned in the blog.
    Surprisingly they serve the Guinness the same way (with chilled glasses; damn good) but none of the hassle as pictured in Chillis.
    I even asked if I could order two tequila shots at one go and no hassle from bartender.
    Asked the manager about this and mentioned about the policies in Chillis.
    He mentioned that the only problem would be parking drinks…but he did mention that during the promo month you can order and park drinks anytime at the Spaghetti Grill.
    I don’t get it sometimes if they are of the same company (relatively speaking) then why is some of their policies towards drinking customers different?
    Anyway Deep should make a trip there and test it out!!!

  • Lin

    Interesting blog, my first time here! Was wondering for an alcohol lover like you, getting wasted must be pretty common, was wondering if you wanna share some fun stories with us? :D Had my first totally wasted experience last night complete with a few rounds of vomitting, not something I ever wanna do again but it’s fun to hear other people’s stories.

    Also, who is your cute friend with the long hair?

    • Deep

      Haha! Yea, have written sum stories. Ur welcome to write about yours too!
      So u quit gettin drunk aredi? Dat was quick!
      D dude w d hair is Khang, my housemate. Wrote about his artwork – enter a search on this blog for “Jimi”.
      He’s single btw. Haha

  • Lin

    no way I”m giving up drinking..just avoiding the puking stage. thanks for that info haha..

  • Jim Foong

    In deed you have a very interesting blog. I got your link from kennysia.com when he mentioned you as an alcohol blogger. A blog like yours would help me big time with the questions given by my pals such as “Eh lets drink but where ?”. Anyway, this is a very good post about the Chilli’s management problem and their Guiness.

  • Deep

    Thanks Jim. When it comes to where to drink, hmmm… I guess each of us have our own criteria. Tons of bars out there these days.

  • screwdriver vs vodka orange

    well, interesting blog and post…
    chillis and Spaghetti grill is same company bro…
    of cause they are same policy…
    cant have bottle there… i got experienced about this… they have all day promotion, all day happy hour…(sound good ryt)…

    deepscooktales@agreed with u, there are many bars and pubs where we can order like you wan… lets enjoy our day…dun waste time at the-best-and-worst-spot-for-a-guinness bro…lolx

  • Mad Max

    @screwdriver vs vodka orange

    I mentioned yes they are the same company, but they have differing policies towards drinking customers. Went with the thirstyblogger to spaghetti grill again to check it out…and they mentioned that you can get bottles there (am I rite thirstyblogger?! They mentioned that if im not mistaken?)

  • kuljit

    Bro, happening blog since drinking and trying out different drinks is right up my alley!! Guinness is my favourite too. I have had good Guinness at Fitou in Desa Parkcity too.

    See the following BBC Article on the benefits of consuming Guinness Stout.It is an old article but interesting nontheless:
    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/3266819.stm
    Cheers and keep it coming!!

  • bobby

    this issue of vodka with orange juice a.k.a screwdriver is totally a hit,huh..morale of d story,i believe..tat do not ever assume..make it straight,u’ll get it right..yeah,allot more places to go to shower urself with guinness..enjoy d trip..

  • dinesh n

    spaghetti grill in midvalley serves good stout in frozen mugs n it cost 11++ per mug…. really good

  • Deep

    Thanks man. Plan to head there for a proper recce soon!

  • fai

    dude tried Online Pub at Damansara Kim yet? Haven’t been there myself but heard some good things about their Guinness and food.

  • Deep

    Was there once, like 2 years ago man. They have either wild boar / mutton + bread to go with your booze, cant remember which

  • june

    My sis told me to tell you my Chillis story:

    Here it is: a couple of years ago, I went to KLCC Chillis for an early dinner. This was during Ramadhan and it was a couple of hours before buka puasa. The staff who was seating people, then asked me, are you Muslim? Note, she wasn’t asking this to everyone, she had just seated a bunch of Chinese girls, and whites, etc.

    I said, why does it matter? She replied, I can’t seat you if you are Muslim. I was very offended. First of all for racial profiling (Sarawakians never catch a break during Ramadhan – Because there are only THREE races in KL!) but second of all, even if I was Muslim, don’t tell me how to practise my religion!

    I understand that during Ramadan, that if Muslims get caught in Malaysia for not fasting, the restaurants also get fined. But please – don’t racial profile because it’s insulting. Ask EVERYBODY the same question.

    I demanded to talk to the manager who to his credit was very apologetic. But by then, I was so riled up that I didn’t want to eat at Chilli’s anymore.

    Walked off my anger, and decided to go to Nando’s instead. Lined up for a while, and when it was my turn, I was told, “oh, we are only seating Muslims for now – almost buka puasa”

    Ramadan + KL + eating out + Sarawakian = sucks ass.

  • yapthomas

    Just go to the one at One Utama

  • FA

    Re: screwdriver vs orange vodka issue is too fucking ridiculous. I was there with ST and Suan. Their manager needs to be bitchslapped properly.

    i recommend everyone to stay away from BSC chillies like a fucking plague.

  • langkau

    drinking on that side of laut china selatan sounds like a nightmare (esp. the staffs a.k.a. chimps).

  • ali

    as a former waiter at some clubs that vodka orange / screwdriver thing is pretty hilarious ROFL. unless asked by customer, bartender usually use those Rm15 ++ vodka for screwdriver. that manager need to get an overhand punch on his chin

  • maxi

    u fuckers. always remember, when u walk to some else place please respect their culture.
    always follow their rules. what is the point of complaining, when u cant adopt to their concept.
    im very sure what ever rules they have is actually for their own good and restaurant.

  • Deep

    “When u walk to some (u mean someone) else place please respect their culture”.
    Dam right! They came to Malaysia and showed no respect for local cultures.
    Thanks man. Your quote just made my point.
    Think before u go shootin your mouth off

  • connie

    i tink the main thing is, tis is a service industry we are talking about… thus given incident no.3 which Deep shared, i tink there is a thing call flexibility.. customers would not be asking for the section to be opened for no reason and for god’s sake, its only about 15mins for the section to be opened whereby its jam packed at the bar.. well, they can sit at the normal dining tables but we customers have our preferences as well… thus, i tink they should train their staffs to respect customers and think carefully before they say NO to customers as well…so far, by luck, i have not encounter any of these yet at chilis.. i love their cold stout and still do.. i love it at spag grill as well, but maybe spag grill is a bit stuffy, but still watever it is, the quality of beer and service of the outlet coupled with good company makes the day!

  • Deep

    Yea, ur right. A lil flexibility is good customer service

  • Mike Davies

    Deep, did you know that the GAB Academy teaches that beer mugs/glasses should be chilled/frozen, but NOT Guinness. That maybe explains why the vast majority do not serve their Guinness in cold glasses.

    • Deep

      Yea i realize that. But i assume those rules are generally for colder climates. In a tropical n humid country like ours, the drink warms up way too quick. Halfway thru your drink, the coaster is soaked, the temperature becomes wrong, and the taste changes. Also, its a cultural thing. Malaysians like their drinks/beers very cold!

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