Generally, I think many chicas are stingy when it comes to goin out, especially clubbing.
Its usually the guys dat have to fork out money for these sessions. You know except for a coupla incidents, I dont see girls buying bottles when partyin with a bunch of friends that include guys. Wattup wit dat? Do they suddenly become inferior & unequal once they step into a club/bar?
I usually don’t mind and it’s never bothered me, but after many years of seeing d same ol shit, it got me thinking out loud here. Coz I dislike inequality / discrimination.
Just coz guys don’t say anything, we cant assume its cool. In my opinion, Malaysian guys are just too nice to females to say sumtin. Or maybe they feel sorry for ’em for some reason.
And its not like wimin cant guzzle. Some do a better job than a lot of men. (I wish there were more of ‘em. Haha)
And the problem is a lot of them dont even bother to say “thank you”. Now dats real rude.
No issues at freeflows tho
Some chics would hit a bill for hundreds of bucks with their gerlfrens on some dumb meal that looks like a goddam toy-on-a-plate at some over-priced, capitalistic, foreign-sounding joint, but wont take out a few bucks when partyin. These are the weird ones.
They’d even take out fuckin calculators to count the group’s share to the goddam cents.
In fact, tho it happens, its not that often u’d see girls go party together and get a bottle for themselves. Wat, they cant afford it? Why do they usually need guys around to get senget? (The only exception I can think of is a hen’s nite or a birthday)
Point here is – Tho i personally find it to be a fun job, I don’t see any concrete reason why partying, drinking and getting plastered should be a responsibility that’s shoved to the males in the group.
(Wat if your male frens are a bunch of sissies who don’t party hard?? Ur screwed! Haha)
U know wat, I’d love to go out one night (or every week!) with gerls and not have to bother about booze. Just sit my brown ass down on d couch, and wait for them to sort d shit out.
I don’t wanna know from where or who d dam booze came from. I just drink. Play d dumb blonde.
Coz dats exactly what many girls would do.
Alcohol just not just appear from thin-air. SOMEBODY has to pay for it.
I guess some women aren’t very liberated. And not as independent as they think they are.
Most women wanna be treated as equals by men and by society. Thing is, u gotta act like equals if u wanna be seen as equals, right?
OK. Prove me wrong (please!). I’ll be glad. And hopefully, drunk.
I’m not a sexist, but I’ll drink to this!
Hmmm I have to disagree..maybe for some women..but for me and gal pals..we get our bottles..regardless where ands regardless the $$$ say in a club like Elixir ..we infact also buy drinks for our male friends..so not all women..just some.. 🙂
I like u n your gal pals, n i wanna hang out wit u and your gal pals!
And obviously i dint refer to all women
i don’t have problems with girls drinking what i’m drinking at the pub. i don’t mind them taking the beers from my bucket. if there if they can drink langkau, even better. it’s cheap, i drink cheaply. but if i have to buy them drinks that are radically different than mine and costs a bomb, sorry lah. and when they call me out “hey, wanna go for a drink”, i’d ask “who’s paying?” – the downside of this stupid tactic is that they don’t call me out for a drink no more. (which isn’t THAT bad, y’know)
Well said Deep. I totally second that.. It is always the guys to order and the gurls will just stand aside and wait for their dinks..
For once and for a change woman, take control..
No doubt I’ve been with a few who pays for their own drinks and buys botte for their friends and thats pretty cool, Its a give and take thingy..
We dont mind to open the bottle as long we take one of the gurls back 🙂 lol.. but Nooooooo. They leave early or neither to be seen after their drinks or when the bill arrives.
It’s nice once in a while that the gurls get bottle..
Kudos to you ladies who share and care.
Quote: Life’s a bitch and at times you go out with a few :).
You realized you just opened a can of worms which will result in nothing. As William Cooper would say, people will try their very best to justify the situation… even though they know it’s “bad/wrong'”. And “some women” is an understatement.
I don’t think the ppl is ready talk about this without having a grimace.
It’s a sad truth that a lot of chicks dun wanna pay for drinks. This is why they throng clubs during Ladies Nights when its free drinks for chicks all night long.
What they dunno is that those free drinks r probably cheap liquor like Sahep etc. tak tau takpa kan?
I take the position that if if a chick doesn’t have the money to buy herself a drink…(tharr be more) Peer into the depths, it’s best to stay home. It’s utterly demeaning to the pride, to be decked up in your party best but expect guys to buy you drinks. His wallet is not at your disposal.
At the very least, if a guy buys you a drink, offer to buy him the next round. That is fair and that is what I do.
I know and have experienced this before. So-called high flying corporate ladies with their LV bags and designer dresses but when it comes to drinks, they’d go directly to whomever who can buy them drinks, whether the guy’s married or not. Damn! I wish I could tag ’em biyatches (on FB) cause it’s bloody irritating!
Does that apply to girls who tag along for free booze events? :p
Key is to remember who got the last round, and it must go round.
Oh and you’re doing the dishes tonight right?!
i agreed .. chick spent hundreds to thousand for shoes. dress, accessories, fancy bags .. gucci, lv, limited edition this & that .. but when it comes to party & drinking hours .. it’s guys responsibility to pay for everything .. Damn .. thanks to the fella who created the word “gentlemen”
Hey Deep,
Next round I will call ya…see you Sunday
🙂
it’s not females we should be pointing d finger at but rather our feeble minded bretheren that bring their ‘provider’ mentality to the pub.
it is this stigma-inferred ‘obligatory-ness’ which also includes d inclination to not ask a chick to chip in. there are various reasons for “not asking” which guys will internally reason with themselves here but my point being that most guys have not broken free of those ‘berat hati’-ness chains (which are somewhat natural actually) and hence wld rather not ask a girl for money, period.
not trying to hit sexist domain here but females are naturally inclined to be manipulators of their environment. they’ve all had 20+ years of practice on their daddies to much success.
add to that the gullibility of your average guy and his inability to pick up on non-spoken communication signals, and you’ve got your classic cat-string situation.
if you give them al l this awesome shit on a silver platter undeservingly u expect them to object to it and feel bad for you feeling like a sucker later?
some guys of course, are just indifferent with regards to $, pay for everything without question, and are unknowingly perpetuating this as a norm. However there is a fat line between social etiquette and stoking the freeloading fires of chicks who expect socialite treatment for having a vagina.
there is no excuse for anyone not to pay if they are going to have their fair share. i think the answer lies in filtration of social groups and being true to yourself. these problems wouldn’t be half as likely to arise when interactions between quality individuals take place.
women ARE aware of all this. but they don’t need a discussion thread on an alcohol blog to figure out how to continue maintaining their sundown autonomity while feelin safe, lookin great, havin fun, and not spending a cent.. they just need a moron who believes he owes it to em.
take that into account the next time and ask yourself if you’re trying to get anything out of the buying of drinks for her. rules of etiquette aside, if the answer is anything short of an altruistic ‘No’, don’t do it.
thank god most of my female friends aren’t like that. 😀
i certainly dont fal into that group. ive always paid for my drinks and chip in for it and if the guys in the group refuse too, ill just buy extra drinks for the table. i hate freeloaders. if u want to drink, freaking pay for it!!! btw,freeflow drink are horrible not to mention they use cheap liqour!!
Typical Malaysian men are so chauvinistic and stingy…So the only time they talk about “equality”, is when they are forking out money for the ladies..
Quite a lot of debate. Phew. Obviously most of u agree. In fact, so do some chics!
I’ve started a poll about it in the right sidebar.
I disagree that Msian men are either stingy or chauvinistic (maybe a minority only), via personal experiences. In fact, a few of my male frens are probably d most generous in d world when it comes to partyin and F&B. Try to get a foreigner to splurge on his friends regularly for no reason. Good fuckin luck!
If ur well-traveled, u’ll know wat am talkin bout.
Maybe is d people u hangout with, Yourgirlnextdoor.
Chics can be very calculative tho – the bill for some fancy booshit dinner might be split right down to the cents, but when it comes to drinking, the SAME girls buat taktau. Huh??
Wattup.
Feigning ignorance is BAD attitude.
Anyway, it shd not even get to d point that d guys have to “ask the girls to chip in”. Most guys wont do dat, and d girls know it. A REAL woman would ask d guys about it before she’s asked!
Its these kind of women dat would catch a real man’s attention. We notice these things.
I’m proud to say i know a few real women. Respect.
lucky thing i dont go clubbing and all..
that saves lots of money, really.. =)
wat girls do u hang out with?? if we open bottles in clubs i always chip in with friends. and ill buy my own drinks without waiting for some guy to offer me one.
Good for u then. Dats d way to do it.
MOST of d girls i would hangout with are fine. I wdnt wanna hangout regularly with a hussy. But am not talkin bout just myself here. Lotsa guys know wat i mean.
But there are male versions too – guys who hangout with other guys but would never, or have hardly bought a bottle. They who dont believe in taking turns to be generous, even on their birthday!
It’s equality of convenienve. Only when it favours them – whether its conscious or subconscious.
Having said that, not ALL women are like dat. Just most of em :-p
Among communities where women are treated as equals and men aren’t, in the main, complete chauvinists, people split the bill. There’s no “man pay, woman sleep with man or kiss ass or whatever” division of labour. You only see that in chauvinist, patriarchal communities/societies. Case in point: go for a party in Lagos. You will never ever see women pay for anything. They are expected to cook for the man, clean for the man, be his sex toy and Barbie doll. He buys the drinks. For one thing, it’s not a bad deal for him. Malaysian men just don’t like the fact that they don’t get to enslave the women they buy drinks for. If you mind that some people are free-loaders, then you should just hash it out with them, and first of all, stop being such a sexist and realise that there are as many males who do that as there are females. Only the contexts differ. Yes, in bars, men tend to pay. But many men do that so as to be surrounded by pretty/all-dolled-up women ok? Many Malaysian men would never get a second glance without the bottle of Jack Daniels or Bombay Saph at their table.
I myself prefer to be generous and assume that others will be generous too, and if I identify free-loaders, they don’t get to partake in my generosity. But, I party with good friends, so that’s never an issue. And my friends are male and female, and I’ve never needed to see them as beings defined by their chromosomes and genitalia but just as good people whose company I greatly enjoy.
At MY parties, NO ONE has to pay for drinks! (well, except me, but that’s beside the point… LOL)
If its plutonic then we expect equality. If its a date, i think a guy shd pick up the tap. since ur date has spent enuf modal on makeup, hairdo and apparels to look attractive.
Dei, I buy my own drinks lah. And often other people’s (this might solves the mystery of why I’m always broke). So yeah, a lot of girls don’t, but why are the guys simply shelling out the money for them? Two hands a clap makes innit … so if guys don’t want girls to sponge off of them in a bar, don’t buy the damn drinks lah and enable them too. Simple. I drink with girls and guys who pay, cos as far as I’m concerned, I don’t like freeloaders regardless of shape, size or gender.
well, a girlfriend came back from overseas and we partied 2 nights in the row.. of which, she genourously bought drinks on both nights. best of all, there were guys.. and they didn’t even so much as ASK too.
i don’t think it’s a female issue as well. it’s just a matter of an individual issue here. since not all females are like that.. and not all men pick the tap too.. so, the best conclusion to make is that it’s really an individual issue- not one of either sex.
it’s who you happen to be surrounded with. and if free loaders are the case.. time to find new party friends.
also, honesty is nice as well. if you think everyone should chip in, then just make mention. afterall, they’re friends, right? unless of course, you want to impress or there’s an ego issue too. these are all self-explanatory and manners 101.. but ya know.. some people are just wall-headed like that. so a casual.. “hey, lets all chip in” won’t hurt. and if it does to them, again, CHANGE! not worth hanging out!
I asked about that long time ago…and most women who I go out with and in our group say this : “we put on our best dress, doll up looking good to hang out with you guys, so we expect you guys to pay for the drinks…”. Meals are split to the nearest cents but drinks, we pay…I’ve been doing that for more than 20 years, so I never ask anymore. But then I do notice some girls/women buying their own drinks, so maybe one day things will change. Yeah we also have male arseholes who dun share as well, claiming they only drink the coke and water…u got friends like these?
Guys only buy gals drink if got “kang tau” otherwise ….hmm hem!
Ginny Lotto if u r 2 real…pls give me a shout. thank u.
you know what…. i completely agree with you, despite being female myself.
it disgusts me seeing how girls throw themselves at guys when out in bars and clubs, just so they can get free drinks…. Yet, once they have got their drink, they bugger off from the poor guy that bought the drink…
Come on girls! Have some self-worth!
im gonna come out and say this…. esp those Russian Models… it drives me craaazzzzzyyyyy how they STRUT in and sit down and expect guys to buy them drinks..
Both parties are to blame, comeon.. the guys are mostly trying to get some 😉
Me and my girlfriends always buy our own drinks and are PROUD of it!
Those type of models are cheap-ass eh??
Ok tx for d info, n keep rockin