Instant booze-chiller device

Why dahell aren’t scientists and their types inventing an instant chiller?? They went and made the goddam microwave oven 66 years ago. (Well, a 6-foot tall monster anyway.)

Why is it so easy to heat shit up in seconds, but really difficult to make ’em cold? Even a freezer takes like 30 minutes to chill a warm beer. 30 minutes! People could be dead by then.

Can’t they just switch the microwaves wires around?

I guess not. But there has been an attempt very recently to work sumtin out. Not a reverse microwave, but some sort of instant cooler.

The Vortex

The Vortex

I guess ”instant” means different things to different people. This one isn’t that quick to me.

How does this work? It uses a cooling vortex to chill the drinks, spinning the beverage around without disturbing the carbonation of fizzy drinks.


Spinning shit around in cold water is ol skool. Thirsty humans have been doin it manually. But i guess the bottom line is the effectiveness. This baby chills a beer from room temp to 5C in 40 seconds.

Hmmm. Lemme see, 40 seconds per beer….. 5 eager, parched guys needing a drink…..  = 3.3 minutes total. Well, reasonable.

I’ll take it!

Damn. My birthday has just passed.

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